wow. it's been quite a few days since i last updated. what shall i dazzle you with today?

my sister is coming home tomorrow. "heya, in the meadow; heya."

while watching the first hour of seven last night, i was reminded of my dear friend, dream park. and why would i think of a sweet little korean during a movie about the seven deadly sins and red, gross murder? you tell me.

my kitty is fond of onions.

have you ever been so pissed off at someone that you let them ruin your day without your telling them how pissed you were, so you just wound up sitting in your own pile of... pissiness for a good fraction of the day, just to prove a point that the object of your hatred didn't care to notice anyways?

yeah. me neither.

on a brighter note, it's sunny.

today was a sleepy day. i woke up entirely too late, and did entirely nothing of much significance.

except i hung out with my mommie. that was cool.

then i baked a cheesecake for three hours. that was exciting.

then i went online. that was now.

then i checked my email. that was nothing important.

then i shut up.

how many things did maggie count tonight?

the upside of a trillion, my friends.

ok. just kidding. i'm working inventory tonight at 6:00.

i pissed a little short lady off last night because i didn't see her and, therefore, didn't help her. she wanted me fired. i swear to gosh i never once saw her. that made me laugh. until i found out what she called me. then i was glad i didn't see her, or i would have gotten fired.

i went out to lunch today with alicia. her new lucky number is three hundred and sixty billion five million three trillion and nine hundred thousand billion. she's spechal.

so how was everyone's valentine's day? lemme noe!!!

merriam-webster's word of the day friday was flapdoodle. get ready; it'll be overused.

time to study for the sat.


[p. s. : i love my kitty.]

este manana, mi madre y mi padre me dio un regalo en espanol. me rei mucho, porque... pues, somos guerros. muy guerros.

es una manana muy hermosa.

anoche, voy a trabajar. terri no me llamo ayer; no voy a trabajar domingo por la noche.

sucededo!

adios, mis paraguas muy bonitos!

and now i'm at home.

el groupo is meeting at cici's for some pizza fun before heading over to school. again.

so it's time for blushing:

someone bought me an anonymous ad (...?) in the school newspaper. it reads: "maggie, stay beautiful, stay awesome, stay single. -anonymous."

a few of my friends ("a ton of people," according to chris) know who this mysterious character is, yet refuse to clue me in. i heard that whoever it was sent it because they read something i posted here regarding valentine's day (a negative comment, no doubt.).

so, i reply:

dear anonymous,
thanks. that brightened my day immensely. i don't know who you are (and maybe it should stay that way), but it was muchly appreciated. happy valentine's day!
-who else?

and since i'm feeling quite hip-hoppin' happy, happy valentine's day to all my faithful readers. i hope you enjoy it.

unless your name is b. then you can go to hell.

have a peachy day!

i'm in school right now. as some would say, "elite."

anywho, tonight is the talent show. i don't know if we're going out beforehand (or after, for that matter), but oh well.

i have no homework this weekend. rock.

on a completely different note, i go to school with some of the biggest idiots in the world. see andrew's site for details.

too much candy. i'm going to implode.

we had to read our sonnets. out loud. in front of the whole class. how did i know that would happen?

because i'm magical, of course.

the bell sounds. i leave.

adieu.

apparently my rollieness is baffling. look it up, my friends.

inventory is this sunday. i volunteered to work. mistake? we shall see.

tomorrow is talent show night. needless to say, i'm not going to be performing. amber suggested a blue party party before the evening of talent, so it looks to be oodles of fun.

i scored 9 points out of 10 on the free response for the biology test. my supports were found within the multiple choice questions i had just answered.

miracles happen.

and then you die.

anywho, the sonnetness is done, and i may get to watch a glorious law and order .

le sigh.

my sonnet went sonnetly. care to read?

"Your words are a bubbling brook of laughter
Even when dark truths I confess.
The position that I so faithfully run after
Leads me to where I swore not to regress.
Heartache ensues when dies a true love.
It is impossible to cry one tear too many,
For when we discover the hand hidden by glove,
We realize our skin is as sensitive as any,
Our hearts are as fallible as the words we say,
Our trust equally deceived by truth as by lie.
But when the sun blinds me with revelation each day,
I find a new motive to unknot the tie.
I have dreams and ambitions and plans to survive.
This ugly disaster will find me alive."

yeah. beauty, i know; i know. save the praise for later, darlings. i must finish this post.

do kittens make anyone else cry?

now i'm done.

goodnightway.

i tried to do something cool with my hair this morning, but apparantly i failed. just like got to be to make a fool out of me.

jim was rollie today.

either a very particular bird crapped on my car, or my friends unsuccessfully tagged it. either way, it came off very easily, and my teeth are extra white.

the f-kitty is a lot funner when you don't have to take it, especially if you're eating twizzlers and playing uno the whole 84 minutes.

three day weekends make me giggle.

also, paige is turning into a big girl in a few days. my yitto paigie-poo.

i love this whole not having homework thing.

time to go write another sonnet.

and, yes; i do realize that the last two statements contradict each other.

i woke up and decided that today would be a wonderful, beautiful day.

and would you know it?

it was.

irony of the day: jussy messages me and asks for melissa's phone number. i go into my room get my phone book, and the radio is playing "the boys are back in town."

wee-oo.

plan for today: finish aaa's crazy homework assignment and go to try-outs at 4:00.

needless to say, i'm terribly horribly busy today. don't bother trying to reach me. i'll be out for a grand total of less than one hour.

[the big "you die."]

who's ready for the oxygen commercials to stop?

i went to work today and almost made a puddle of sick thinking about a certain item in the break room vending machine. i can't even say it without wanting to splat.

after work, i met my family at church. we stayed after for a yum-o spaghetti din-din, where kj dropped a plate full of meatballs on me.

ok. so it was an untainted noodle, but same difference.

now i am sitting here thinking about aloneness and valentines day, and how the two don't mix very well.

NOT.

my plans for the fourteenth: wake up whenever the heck i want to, take a nice, long shower (fully clothed, of course), and go to work. no obligations to anyone. life's peachy.

the van dyke light is working. go figure.

boohbah makes me feel like one craaaaaaaazy mofo - "mofo" meaning "crackhead."

meep! mop! ork! aa-aa! and that means i am out!

like woah.

i went to the fair today with amber, kelly, christy, graham, jim, andrew, daniel, and chris. it was very fun. and hot. and pukey.

but i really did have a good time. i'm glad i went. i have awesome friends.

however, i am now a redneck. literally. but no matter - it's funny.

i went to work tonight, and flavia (see story at bottom) helped me move things around. i love not being the new girl.

tomorrow i'm working in the morning (success!), so hopefully i'll be able to do something at night. not that i have plans or anything nice like that, but it's fun to have options. because i'm a fun kind of maggs.

my parents are having card night right here, right now. hence, i endure.

i'm tired, though, and out of things to say.

smoke off.

megan: is flavia in kids'?
rachel: yeah. what did you call her last week?
megan: flabavio or something.
rachel: you're going to hell.

as of last night, i am a blue party member. if allowed, i'm going to make up an office to run for: organizer.

and what do i plan on organizing? you ask.

why, the best senior class prank ever, of course. (details to be posted later.)

the analysis quiz was as easy as 3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 9171536436 7892590360 0113305305 4882046652 1384146951 9415116094 3305727036 5759591953 0921861173 8193261179 3105118548 0744623799 6274956735 1885752724 8912279381 8301194912 9833673362 4406566430 8602139494 6395224737 1907021798 6094370277 0539217176 2931767523 8467481846 7669405132 0005681271 4526356082 7785771342 7577896091 7363717872 1468440901 2249534301 4654958537 1050792279 6892589235 4201995611 2129021960 8640344181 5981362977 4771309960 5187072113 4999999837 2978049951 0597317328 1609631859 5024459455 3469083026 4252230825 3344685035 2619311881 7101000313 7838752886 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9596881592 0560010165 5256375678

i'm ashamed to admit that i was watching newlyweds. even more so to admit that i was entertained. they make jessica simpson seem so stupid. not that i think it's far from the truth or anything.

we have to write sonets in english. i'm going to dedicate mine to fred savage.

i'm off to spend my evening looking for strippers and flashlights.

nanana.

graham: soccer's pretty hard on the old shin-shins.
me: ...?
graham: i'm japanese, remember?

now that i've got the funny out of the way, time for a dedication to my favorite leetle fren.


dear dream,

pork and :) said they were sorry they couldn't make it to school today, but they wanted me to tell you "nanana. "

so, dream: nanana.

mr. schutz told me to give you a fun assignment in learning to draw ellipses, even though i never saw anything wrong with the ones you made.

aaa wants you to love america on your birthday. up for some flag-waving tonight, hmm?

mrs. pardo told me to tell you something funny, probably having to do with writing an essay. yeah. that's definately the funny thing she told me to tell you to do on your birthday.

m-sol suggested that if your head is made out of rice, you shouldn't boil it. especially not once your 17; then it could be fatal.

mr. murray wants you to do some homework with your best friends, the protists, and learn about cell invagination.

or sleep. whichever.

now that i've given you everyone's messages, i shall leave.

happy twelfth birthday, dream!

heart,
catfish helmet

me: you need it on both of them.
jason: you need it on birth control?

it was one of those days where it looked like it was going to rain during fourth period but wound up being sunny and happy after seventh.

you know. one of those "go figure" days.

i just found out that the teacher andrew rode his bike into last year was triple-a. that makes me want to pee myself. "i laughed until i cried! thought my pants would never dry!"

it took me and chuck a considerable amount of time to figure out that you cannot tape the servo upside-down to make it turn the other way. needless to say, we're still working on things.

that's all the exciting information i have for you today. toodles.

second period:
"hey. you guys are nazis."
"?"
"everyone in your row has blue eyes and light hair."
row order: sweeney, me, reid.

third period:
"now you're in unity day row!"
row order: angela, ayla, dream, me, marisol.

and more:

at same time:
marisol: you're so mean to me all the time! every day! gosh, laura!
mrs. pardo: i put your homework assignment on the board. technically, it isn't due until wednesday, though.

not at the same time:
mrs. pardo: ... you will be reading-
marisol: you're mean!

well, that last one would have been funnier if you had been there.

anywho, our door into the mystical land of never-never is up and running. or, at least it should be. we aren't too sure how to trigger it, so it'll be flashlight-fun tomorrow.

today is beautiful. it was so rainy all weekend, and today it finally looks alive.

dream is my valentine. in a very homosexual way.

well, that's about all the news for today. adieu.

by the way, when the heck did the first half of our junior year sneak by?

it's februrary, for pete's sake!

me: so, tell kim i said hi, ok?
erin: ...
me: ok?
erin: oh. sorry. i was thinking about something else.
me: ...
erin: no, no. i was making all the smiley faces on aim.

"you got some bread? good. now we can make french fries!"

friday night was fundous. just before the store closed, jim, andrew, sweeney, sweeney's friend, and craig dropped by. a few minutes later, dustin, dream, amber, and chris came in. that definately made me not feel so losery for missing chilli's.

after work, i met amber at the mall, but only after sifting through the mob pimply twelve year-olds. we saw cheaper by the dozen ; i didn't feel like having to think about the ending.

girls' night out ended with girls' night in.

saturday morning:
"you have a million clocks."
"i know."
"oh my gosh! it's 11:50 already! i'm going to be late! ...hey. that one says it's only 11:30. and that one says that it's almost 1:00. ...?"
"we're a weird family."

not that i can't account for strawberry puppies.

yesterday i figured my schedule, and it looks as though i'll be working the night of the fourteenth. of course, i was bummed, but now that i think about it, it's a good thing; maybe it'll keep me from getting depressed. about not having a boyfriend. who defaces his girlfriend until she's just "that one in the skirt." and doesn't speak much of her personality. or take the funning sat.

yeah. real depressed i'll be.

GAG.

so i'll be at work that night. drop by and make my day.

and now it's time to finish some long put-off homework. wish me concentration.

mr. n.: i want [your projects] to be cheap economically, but with good structure. i mean, don't use anything from taiwan.
chuck: thanks.

jake, on having the pukes yesterday: i totally repainted the driveway.

if i was stuck on a desert island with everything and had to pick three things i couldn't have, they would definately have to be mullets, elipses, and louis vuitton merchandise.

then again, it wouldn't be much of a desert island with a closet full of mootsie's tootsies and firemen dotting the highways.

why do i insist on talking?

reed sang the monkey song today. you know the one - where the little monkeys are jumping on the bed and keep bashing their noggins.

no significance to that statement. just thought i'd let you know.

amidst all this insanity, i did learn something today: there was once a lettuce strike all across america. or, as triple-a would say, "america!"

nanana.

"10 more minutes of statistics having sex with the other statistics of the same sex."

i'm glad i signed up for the class.

it's time for some homework.

or, as j. d. salinger would have said, "for ^sake, i have so much gd homework these days. it's so gd depressing. mrs. pardo gave us an assignment and said the due date wouldn't be pushed back, so for once, i finished the assignment on time. then she said it wouldn't be due until monday, because she won't be at the gd school tomorrow. that kills me. it really does. but i really have to go. i got more homework today. i'm not kidding. i swear to ^."

you know what's my favorite thing? my friends. they're always there for me, even when they probably shouldn't be. but in the end, everything is a lot cheerier because they stick with my lame self.

so, because mariah carey is (sarcasm button) so inspirational and such a great role model, i feel the need to quote her here.

"there’s a hero if you look inside your heart;
you don’t have to be afraid of what you are.
there’s an answer
if you reach into your soul,
and the sorrow that you know will melt away

and then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on,
and you cast your fears aside,
and you know you can survive.
so when you feel like hope is gone,
look inside you and be strong,
and you’ll finally see the truth -
that a hero lies in you.

it’s a long road when you face the world alone;
no one reaches out a hand for you to hold
you can find love if you search within yourself,
and the emptiness you felt will disappear.

and then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on,
and you cast your fears aside,
and you know you can survive.
so when you feel like hope is gone,
look inside you and be strong,
and you’ll finally see the truth -
that a hero lies in you.

Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,
but don’t let anyone tear them away.
hold on; there will be tomorrow.
in time, you’ll find the way.

gurgle, gurgle, gurgle."

to supergirl: i'm always here for you. you can count on me, all the way up to infinity, which i hear love is like.

to all the other supers in my life: yeah. sure. i'm here for you. most of the time. you know how it goes.

time to catch some rye, and not shut-eye, because that's not fly in the middle of the ni...le.

[kitty in a teapot - poor guy.]

i've been catching rye all afternoon, so here i am on my well-deserved break, talking like the lunatic i am.

my dad is coming home tonight. this is a good thing. no one has called me noobie all week.

my family room smells very good.

and now for the poetical works of maerd krap:

"nanana, nanana, nanana. you're so gay.
with your younger brother, :).
but, oh, nanana.
did you know that :) was cheating on you?
i walked in on :) and your second younger brother, pork, one day.
i was shocked, but they promised to give me a [bouquet of roses],
so i didn't disclose the secret to you.
oh, nanana; i'm so sowwy.
i should've known. they were in fact too busy with their own business.
they never kept their promise, nanana.
thus i reveal this secret to you now.
oh, nanana; i'm sowwy
for your gay brothers,
for your love life that has failed,
for your parents [nibble] and nancy, who are also gay,
and for you, nanana mix - your own homosexuality."

all hail.

and now that i have related to you my beautiful day, i shall leave (no joke. it smells really good in here.).

[tree-climbers]

"and i think it's gonna be alright;
yeah, the worst is over now.
the morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball."

check your mail, kids. did you get this month's issue of the florida orchestra?

lucky you.

i forgot to mention that my closet collapsed sometime in the wee hours last sunday morn. it's fun having a pile (or three) of unorganized clothing.

no. it certainly doesn't bother me any that it's not color coded and stacked according to sleeve length. why would it?

a half no-eye dear.

i'm off to be pardo's bitch for the rest of the evening.

this is mageek signing off.

hi. my name is maggie. i don't want a boyfriend, and i'm perfectly fine being alone this february fourteenth.

there. i said it.

"where else would it go?
the sky is all it seemed to ever know.
caught up in the day.
quietly it shines the day away."

you know what's up? definately not editorials.

thank you, fellow students of the lovely vivian gaither high school, for spreading the joy and the germs.

on a brighter note, brian kensky and my favorite person came in while i was at work today: the customer formerly known as the alfred sung lady. i would tell people she's my aunt, but there's a bit of a race barier.

not that that stopped me.

you know, it feels like a chelsea morning even though it's 9:05 pm. and for as much as joni mitchell should suck in my eyes, she doesn't; she just doesn't.

are you feeling love-y? locks of love-y? i am. my hair is already well over a foot long, but i want to actually have hair after i chop off the minimum ten inches.

but, according to m-sol, no one would want my hair because of all my split ends. honesty is a virtue.

um. ha.

so tomorrow i'm getting my hair trimmed, and i just might have to stop elsewhere to prepare for the seventeenth anniversary of the birth of the lovely dream park, which is coming up on the fourth. or third. or february pi-rd.

that's most of my day in a nutshell.

this is me, avoiding studying.

"you have big feet."
"i know, but these shoes are too big. don't tell anyone, but they're men's."
"well, they don't look like it. maybe they're - what's the word? homo... hetero... omnisex shoes."

mr murray: "sometimes you see the book at the store down the way. what's it called?"
virat: "barnes is noble?"
dan: "he doesn't know. he's an indian."

i can't say anything exciting has been happening lately. it's same-old same-old around here, with fordham, a jesuit university, still sending me newsletters, and samuel clemens still refusing to huck off.

really. that's it.

[boom squared.]

so here's my impression of erie:

"hi. i'm from pennsylvania, and i'm really cold."

p-guy is doing alright. it's a lot different without nana, though.

grama is in the hospital again. my mom and i went to visit her saturday afternoon.

me: [kiss.]
grama: "refreshing!"

and with that being all i can think of, i'm out.

[gerber-garber baby food.]

supposedly, i've been quite melancholy lately, but today i was "...all smilie."

go figure.

so things are shaping up beautifully. i'm going to take real, live academic courses next year, but not so many that i'll have a nervous breakdown.

in theory.

i got something in the mail for a summer "discovery" program. in almost every picture, the students are jumping. for what? why, for spending thousands of dollars to have the best summer of their life, of course!

today is lovely.

and i am done.

"give her salmonella."
"yeah. salmonellon."
"salmonella."
"salmonellon."
"salmonella. and, either way, it should be 'salmonellosis.'"
"salmonello... salmomell... salmonellon."

there.

i should be finishing up the english letter, but i have typer's block right now, so i will commence after publication.

my hands smell like my car freshener. it fell when i was adjusting it (don't ask.). all i did was pick it up. that was at 3:00, and i've washed my hands a few times since then.

no matter. i can dig the laundry smell.

that's about the only interesting thing i have to say.

on that sorry note, i leave.

"monday is martin luther king day."
"aaw. i love that guy, even though he was black."

happy?

i didn't have to kill john, one of my students, today. then again, he did bribe me with presents. i think i'll get angry more often.

about that whole "ap chemistry being only one class period instead of two" thing, incorrect. it all depends.

it seems to me as though everything depends regarding course selections. great way to end thirteen years of education, public school system; great way to end.

so, in conclusion, i have no idea what i'm going to sign up for.

on the most depressing note of, um, my life, laura fudgecow is moving. to alabama.
huntsville, alabama.

fudgecow.

my fudgecow.

moving.

away.

forever.

even though she won't be packing up until the end of this summer, i would like to make a mini-tribute here for my twin, the sole purpose of which is to confuse everyone who is not laura (the tribute, that is):

cotton fields in the sky...
yewah, why? oh, why?
climbing a big tree -
plastic dinosours for you and me.
ketchup is delish,
so don't diss.
even though that last one didn't rhyme.

to the gorry to the gat to the gucked to the go to the guch. probably i cannot write poems now because i got stuck in a sweatshirt. at least i didn't wear myself out before my entrapment by running up and down the escalator, much the way a retarded high school junior would. er, wouldn't. either way, anything is better than suffocating from your noxious fumes (you can CERTAINLY take the extra bed when you visit. which you will.). just so long as you don't trip when you get on that plane, i'll be ok, chile. magg'll be juss fyne. k? k-k! and also as long as you remember that i was the first to think of marrying the apex guy, because i'd be "...doing it for Jesus! i'm smiling for Jesus!" if we ever tour europe, will you hold my hand while we ride the vomit comet? that would make me feel spechal.

because, laura fudgecow, you never smelled like pig shit to me.

i shall end abruptly. just like this. because it always sounds funny when laura says "pig shit."

and so it goes: i'm a virtual celebrity.

today was quite the day. let me break it down piece by piece:

first period, we got our analysis quizzes back. i scored exactly how i thought i would, which never happens.

second period, i was told that reed is awesome. by reed. so, in order to follow his command and make him the most awesome of the tribe of awesome at the lovely gaither senior high, i shall quote him here:

reed: i want to live on a reservation.

please, hold your applause.

third period, laura fudgecow made a funny: "you're wearing Jesus shoes."

fourth period, i got some hindsight on what a potential forensic scientist may want to take her senior year of high school. and i also found out that ap chemistry, if offered next year, will only be one hour long.

fifth period, we watched finding nemo in spanish in english.

got that?

sixth period, i was graded on my blinky-blink and assigned a challengy-challenge.

i'll quit with classes there.

i drove dream home, and she knocked me out when she left. thanks, buddy.

i came home and discovered some horrifying news: the foreign language sats are offered only in november. what genius thought of that rule? i'll sick dream on him.

time to finish a lab on rolly-pollies. adieu.

"where are we?"
"some place unlike any other you've seen, my dear."
"what are these? diamonds?"
"that they are, my dear, but you must not take them."
"but, my love: there are so many. surely the absense of one will go unnoticed."

she reached for the precious stone, but he seized her hand.

"my dear, i said you mustn't take the diamonds."
"but, my love-"
"no!"

his sudden scolding made her cower.

"my dear, my dear! i did not mean to frighten you. forgive me."
"yes, my love. you did not mean to frighten me."

they wandered for a while; one hour, two hours, two years - they were unaware of the passing time.

"my love, you said when we first came that i mustn't take the diamonds."
"my dear, you heard correctly."
"and now, my love, we have been here for some time."
"my dear, you are correct."
"so would i be wrong to assume that time has changed your mind? there are so many-"
"you are wrong to assume, my dear."
"but why?"
"you need not know the reason for what i say, but take heed of my words: do not take the diamonds."
"but, my love, if you do not tell me-"
"enough!"
"but, my love!"
"enough! enough! do not take-"

but he stood too far away to stop her.

with her delicate hand, she plucked one small diamond from where the sun shone down upon it.

"my love, what were your reasons? you see, nothing has happened. the world still revolves. the flowers still bloom. we are still here."

she turned around to face him.

"my love?"

he was not there.

two things: no, my hair will not curl; and if you ever receive a pacakage of free nails in the mail, i advise that you not experiment with them.

marilyn manson ate reliant k's girlfriend.

with that off my chest, i'm going to take the sat ii this april for spanish. yeah, yeah, yeah; it was made for real, live hispanics. but what kind of nerd would i be to throw in the towel and struggle through an ap class for a whole entire school year taught completely in another language? hmm?

that's what i thought. worth a try, eh? eh?

anyone?

i'm going to review claire mitchel for the english project. this should be fun.

you know what's lame? getting your kicks from telling a high school junior sweet little lies. especially if your name is erinkathleenkennedyscottsomethingschankerothergirlwhowasintheroom.

by the way, my sister shat her pants.

that's all for today.

peace and cheesecakes.

and now for a real update:

andrew got red poweraid all over three people (himself included) at lunch today.

ok. so maybe not all over, but you know - i said it for effect. and now that i've killed it, i'll move on.

work was nothing brutal, but i did feel like being brutal with some customers.

er...

anywho, about this whole "gonig to arizona and colorado on spring break and snowboarding thing," it's pretty spiffy, eh?

well, that's it. thanks for tuning in.

reed: am i fat?
chris: you're getting there.

today was pleasant and not at all unlike a nectarine.

dream in an imaginary conversation with mrs. angert:

dream: GAH! curse her! we hates her!
angert: i'm tired of the number of students who are passing! let's just tie them up and give them a pop quiz!
dream: no! that would kill us, kill ussss!
angert: it's nothing more than you deserve!
dream: we'll be nice to them, if they'll be nice to us. don't give it to us!
dream: we swears to do what you wants. we ssswears!
dream: we swears to serve the master of the.... history. we will swear on, on the preciousss! [gollum, gollum]

- (talking among herselves)-
1: master betrayed us! wicked, tricksy, filth! we ought to wring her filthy little neck... kill her! kill her! then we take the preciousss and we be the master.
2: yes! no. no. it's too risky, it's too risky.
1: we could let her do it. (referring to general jihad)
2: yes, she could do it.
1: yes, precious she could. and then we takes it once she's dead.
2: once she's dead. hush!

that was dream, coming to you live from my pc.

and now for more to rock your socks:

mr. nevsimal: you can a file anything you want. you can name it "shine" or "light." you [pointing to phil] could even name it "thomley." or you could name it "patel" if you wanted it to shut down and not do anything.

laura fudgecow: hey! that rhymes!
me: what does?
laura fudgecow: "i know my shapes! circle, triangle, square - hooray!" ... ok. so it doesn't.

l-rock: i tripped yesterday, and i totally thought about how you'd be laughing your ass off if you had been there.

me: you have a piece of lettuce on your thumb.
dad: what?
me: you have a piece of lettuce on your thumb.
dad: [looks at stomach.]

"i dropped them off, kim, and they disappeared!"
"you didn't see them go inside?"
"no. i think they were angels."

it's been a stupendous week.

and for all those looking for an easy class senior year, i highly suggest earth and space science.

and with that, i disappear into thin air.

or fat air. you know.

dad: "i'm fat. f-h-a-t."

it's been that kind of a day.

good morning, starshines.

i finally got around to typing up my huck questions. by and by, it warn't so bad.

my mom and i are going shopping in a little while. i'm a fan of spending money these days.

if i can plan out the week, i may be spending spring break in california. YAY.

and i swear, if i hear one more lovey-dovey "album" commercial or anything in that general nature, i'll die. just die, i tell you. sometimes all i don't need is the air that i breathe and to love you. so take that, hollies.

anyways, time to clean mi cuarto. adios.

going for a record four posts in one day. can she do it? i think so.

tomorrow is the last day of the generic "winter break." i'm sad to see it go, yet at the same time relieved. screwy, ain't it?

i need to clean my room tomorrow, too. things have been accumulating. it's time to find a home for all the etc.

i have officially run out of things to say.

um. chris cagle, if you ever decide to be twenty years younger, let me know.

good night.
good fight.

also, i'm a nerdslut.

i said, "screw it," and went with the ugly.

i couldn't fall asleep last night because there was something in my eye, which wound up being nothing at all.

you know what song makes me laugh because it makes no sense but all the sense in the world? "easy like sunday morning."

yeah. that's right. you heard me. i'm a soul sister. what's it to you?

dad found all the differences betwixt the two pictures in the newspaper.

i've been having some strange dreams lately. i can't remember any of them, but i know they were strange.

thought you'd like to know.

melissa came in while i was at work yesterday. she's so boo, i tell you, but i love her.

turns out she wasn't kidding about being busy: school all morning and early afternoon, to work at four to eleven, to sleep whenever she gets around to it.

um, wow.

and with that, i leave you.

i thought i saw a familiar car in the parking lot when i went to work this afternoon. the thought crossed my mind for far too long, i will admit, but i knew he wasn't going to be there.

what if he did meet me in the middle? what would happen? would we really change for each other?

"in our short years, we come a long way
to treat it bad - just to throw it away."

i love the way it hurts so bad i can't feel it.

on the subject of changing this template, should i try to make it pretty, or should i just make it ugly on purpose?

i have to work tonight at 5:00, so that should be fun.

my face is both burned and tanned on the left side so that you can see where my huge, j-lo imitation sunglasses sat.

i'm sure it'll be funnier later.

my dad has been playing oregon trail five. so far, nucklehead, butthole, and pickle have survived.

last night i dreamed that i was sailing up the mississippi river. and i haven't picked up huckleberry finn in almost a week. delayed reaction? i think so.

you know, the price is rarely right.

i haven't a thing to do today; this. is. beautiful.

except go to work and avoid the mirror.

to the bat cave.

and so the gators suck.

amber and i went to the outback bowl. oh, and my sister and my dad, too. and an incredibly obnoxious half-wit who sat behind us.

anywho, the sun was a-burnin', the crowd was a-yellin', and florida was a-losin'. it was a sight to see.

wait a minute. no it wasn't.

about last night: andrew's dad apparently didn't know his friends were coming over. james had to leave at 8:30, jim's family planned some last-minute deal, and fez was at work. that left me, andrew, andrew's sister, and five million napkins, less one maggie when 11:00 rolled around.

since going to a sleepy home and watching law and order hadn't been high on my list of fun things to do on new year's eve, i called my mom and asked if i could join her and my dad at the hussin's.

i drove my sober self out to lutz and spent an hour or so with the two sets of parents i consider to be my own, plus two extra sets and some guinea pigs on the side.

in conclusion, i need to find better endings.

another year has come to a close. i've dated too many things ".03," and it's time for change.

things i'll have to remember (in no particular order):

1. laura's boss thinks she's mentally handicapped.
2. driver's liscense.
3. starfest.
4. lilly nichole blay.
5. "come to her aid."
6. book artists.
7. broderick usher III.
8. chuck sucks.
9. breaking up.
10. ending the endless notebook.
11. catfish helmet.
12. ncyc.
13. getting jigerous.
14. buying the takamine.
15. brussel sprouts.

sure, there are millions of other things i could add, but fifteen is a nice round number because it is divisible by three five times, and five is one less than six, which is two times three, and one times three is three.

happy new year!

and on the subject of the whole "mary" deal, don't worry about it.

it's not important.

it's not like it's my alias or anything.

my punching is said to feel like tickling.

it's fun to spend the money of others.

my mom, my sister, and i got our cartilage pierced. it really doesn't hurt. i'm quite pleased.

tonight my family is going out to dinner at the factory of cake of the cheese variety. scrumptulescent.

afterwards, i'm going over to andrew's to play mario party.

i love it. it i love.

have you noticed the appropriately placed apostrophes? this is me, being more grammatically correct.

now that i've rambled my bit, i'm out.

mom: jonathan, what are you doing?
dad: i...
mom: are you dusting the television with my christmas pillow?
dad: i...
mom: well, stop it!

about me not updating:

christmas rocked, alicia left on friday, and work was actually somewhat enjoyable. go figure.

my parents gave in and im going to get my cartilage pierced tomorrow. schpiffy.

my sister and i went shopping on friday. new clothes equal smile.

i wish i had something a little more interesting to say, but i dont. so, i end.

adieu.

sleeping in is my new best friend.

i finally got around to looking at college stuff. i still have no clue as to where to go. isnt it grand?

"sister golden hair" is stuck in my head again, and according to dustin, my level of special is infinite.

tonight were going to mass, and tomorrow is bunches 'o fun. the baby Jesus will be turned over at the rose house, too.

well, thats all for now.

happy almost-christmas.

so the movie sucked and i felt like puking through the whole five years of it.

thats that.

i woke up ridiculously late again this morning with thoughts of sunshine on my mind.

i really feel fine. its quite amazing, actually. it doesnt feel like christmas, but it definately feels better. thanks, friends, for putting up with me time after time.

tonight im going to see master and commander with el grupo. yay.

i went out tonight and had fun. dream let me wear her elf-hat, and i sat on a bean-bag for a time.

then i came home to end the evening laughing at the expense of others and wondering how sniffen found my yahoo profile, which i forgot i had made.

and now micah green is stuck in my head. for the record, we will not fit together just fine.

and now that ive made one more pointless entry, goodnight.

i went over to alicias today after sleeping like a maniac. we watched the jim carrey grinch - it was a splendid good time, chum. then we discussed her job and my needing to find another one. come to find she makes 1.5 times my weekly paycheck in one 4.5-hour shift. hmm...

then i came home and slept some more. that was enjoyable.

tonight is left wide open with nothing to do. guitar-fun? i think so.

thats all for now, folks.

work yesterday was surprisingly amusing. we are now selling boxes with red, fat women on them, and clowns are strewn all over the childrens department. accessories just stank.

betty: "it smells like a body."

my parents composed a musical masterpiece in my absence yesterday afternoon: "its christmasy in here. its christmasy in here. we like christmas in here." boys, im still single.

i played mario party last night with andu, fez, and jim. the latter two had a particularly grand time. and i particularly lost.

i saw my fiance today on the big screen. link, that is.

tomorrow i get to hang out with puff. that will be amusing.

that, sadly, is all.

love and schnickerdoodles.

tonight is some schtein-fun, and afterwards, hopefully, friend-fun.

andrew got me a bunny. it was fun.

you know what else is fun? saying a word until it sounds strange.

my dad made wafflies this morning. we ate them funly.

my sister and i were going to have fun shopping at the mall this morning, but i took a fun shower and lost track of time. hence, i am here.

it was not fun last night when i thought i unhinged my rotator cuff.

(i told you this was fun.)

my sister met a cute boy, mario. i had fun asking her if he had a younger brother named luigi.

my mom is having fun making cookies.

my kitty is having fun sleeping.

i am having fun being a loser.

now i am going to have fun concluding:
adios.

i suppose it does.

now on to other matters.

i just finished the engineering exam. i may have even passed. next is earth and space science, and then im done for the semester. jump-click.

my mom got the tickets last night, so that maybe is now a definately.

to completely change the subject, andrews screen saver says "biren is now a member of a terrorist cell!!" with two exclamation marks. just like that.

i heart the weather.

now that i am fulfilled, i shall leave.

adieu.

just seeing if this works.

mins is currently eating christmas presents.

so, whats up with it being cold? i thought this didnt happen.

my mom and i went out to lunch today, where the guy sitting next to us hit his head on the large, heavy, copper lamp-thing. i tried to hide my laughter, but he saw me. "its alright. you can laugh in front of me. just because youre in math club doesnt mean it wont happen to you."

we pondered the true purpose of leaf-blowers on the way home.

no, i will not take any comments on the above statement.

i heard tell of mr schutz laughing until his face turned red. i miss all the fun stuff. like that time in eighth grade when mr michaels fell out of his chair. or the time when my sister fell on an escalator.

ha.

exams are almost over. i have two tomorrow, but only one counts. for hell.

and dream totally dyed her hair. the metamorphasis is complete.

im going to erie on january seventeenth. maybe. but im definately going to arizona for spring break. can we say, "rock?"

"rock."

those are the lame proceedings of my day.

peace and cheesecakes.

today was a wonderful, beautiful, funny day. just why, i am not sure, but trust me: it was.

though i did wish nolte would have turned around and shot me in the middle of the english exam.

i exchanged my big shoes for ones that fit, bought my final christmas presents, and got myself some dough at el banco (not in that order, of course).

at 5:00, im going to go meet lilly. i guess its a good thing i wasnt shot.

tengo mi examen del espanol manana. estudio.

so i definately got an "a" on the analysis exam. all that not concentrating finally paid off. tomorrow its history and english, followed by a trip to see one beautiful baby.

we watched finding nemo in spanish in english with spanish subtitles (figure it out.).

so truly, she came pushing sixteen horses.

my kitty has pms. crushed midol? shell never know.

dana gave me a very round polar bear and some very green socks. upon seeing the socks, i questioned her.
"dana...?"
"arent they ugly? i saw them and thought of you."

mrs. angert on hussein: "even hitler had the good sense to commit suicide."

"why did picasso live in paris?"
"was he a prostitute or something?"

"it has a fruit juice center?" (i found it funny.)

anywho, time for the doodle to study.

-slash-not.

tomorrow marks the end of anal funkiness for the rest of 2003. and who isnt busy preparing? you know who.

i switched my hours with kathy this saturday, so i may get to have fun.

im going to a football game on new years day with my family and friends. in case you were wondering.

i actually almost fell asleep in class today. three times. youre looking at the epitome of success.

so, chastity. interesting subject. talked all about it at youth group last night. then came to school to see phallic candles. morality? what?

oh crap because the parents are home.

insert lame ending here.

oh.

this is me, studying for exams.

so, hi. we got a christmas tree yesterday morning. i have absolutely no idea where it is.

i painted my finger nails after church. magenta. im feeling crazy.

dear mrs. angert,
this whole idea of giving us a test the day before exams start is quite cruel. dont do it again.
love, maggie

i feel like a hick. im wearing a blouse and overalls. the boys are after me.

i wish i was a little more interesting, but im not.

this is where i stop.

si, no tenemos bananas. no tenemos bananas hoy.

today was confusing, mainly because i had no idea what day of the week it was. once i figured it out, i was happy.

do you ever do that, except also forget what month it is, the current year, and all of your current social relations? yeah. that also happened. it was pretty cool this time.

ill bet you want to come to steinmart tonight. ill bet you do.

just like ill bet it was funny when mrs. angert told us about how dead people would sit up in their coffins.

so, junior year is just one week shy of being half complete. whos ready for the remaining year and a half to end? this girl right here.

i could have been sleeping this whole time.

dear self,
youre an idiot.
love, self.

im out like high tops.

today was pretty pretty, to say the least.

my grades will survive. schutz failed to fail me.

fudgecow and i made fun of each other in english. i love pardos class.

we actually worked in biology, and i got a christmas card from alex. it was glittery and brightened my day.

i answered a pop-question (en espanol) after my stunningly well-memorized performance of the life and times of sandra cisneros, a stunningly ill-learned woman.

later, when tutoring loren in spanish, she said to me in the most confident tone, "su jardin somos bonito." your garden we are beautiful. im glad i spend an hour a week trying.

i talked, i listened to country music, and i thought.

its nice when you have time to think.

considering the fact that nothing particularly interesting happened today, ill end my update here.

its raining. im not sure how long its been coming down, but the sun was not shining when i went to school today.

la cuenta de mi vida.

i tried to have sex with dream this morning, but she had already done it with five other people. in the middle of class. dream is one very literate 'ho.

i laughed with the girl in front of me in spanish class about spanish class and the fact that spanish class is really no class at all. spanish class, spanish class, spanish class. have i said it enough times yet?

reports show that im going to die before the semester is over. thanks, exams. i love you.

thats all.

spanish class.

attention: lauras boss will not fire her because she believes laura to be mentally retarded.

oh, little fudgecow.

also, i have been informed that jim fell in the grass today.

he was probably told to sniff it.

theres a chance ill get to visit tegan and beautiful, beautiful lilly tomorrow. that makes me happy.

granted, i have to mull through an analysis quiz and a spanish presentation first, along with all the other trimmings of a nausiatingly routine high-school day.

i wore the ambiguous socks today. ambiguous, because... well... whats on them? the world may never know, no matter how many tootsie pops are licked.

dear window:
i like it when youre closed. momdar will catch me if a shut you, though.
just a complaint.
love, maggie

if youre looking for a good time, i suggest you try steinmart this friday and saturday evening. were open extra late for steinie fun. come on by and check out the ... fun.

das all my ~*KrAzYnEsS*~ 4 2nite!!! i luv u!!!

ByEz!!!

heres to a complete lack of organization:

my father is spraying clorox and waving my mothers cell phone through the mist.

i keep saying stupid things when going over what im going to say for my ebay presentation. i think ill end with "i have to pee. bye."

i love it when i forget a persons birthday. it makes me feel like a great friend ("oh, maggie. i love you. ...so simple.").

im out.

my parents made up new words to the "fun factory" song. more on this later.

according to andrew, hogan kills.

when your skin is peeling, i advise that you not rip it.

so this is me, updating you on my interesting life.

...

i took the sat this morning. it was freezing. and someone dropped a calculator. it was very funny at the time.

then i came home, ate some cottage cheese with holiday goldfish, and went to work for ever, where i was estimated to be 21.

then my stockings ripped, and i bought some with a hole in them.

"arent we closed?"
"nope. were open until 9:30, and next week, were open until 10:00."
"are you kidding me?"
"nope. happy holidays."

with that, im dead. im out. goodnight.

the winter concert was good, i hear. i only stayed for the first 45 minutes. then i saw it again today for free. dreams tricky like that.

people are funny. if you stop thinking about your own worries and concerns, youll realize that those around you are bloody hilarious.

for example:
lauras mom: "i love you."
laura: "oh."

and:
james: "office 602 was horrible."

and:
"i cant see over your head."
"so grow."

also, lilly nichole blay is absolutely beautiful. congratulations, tegan and dustin!

wish me luck on the sat tomorrow.

im out.

ebay, why do not you sell the red rider accessories past tomorrow? why?

the timed writing in english sucked. majorly. but who cares? its not like weve been given only two grades this term.

wait a minute. yes it is.

so i am not looking forward to doing my presentation. why not? becuase chuck did really good. and he went first. out of everyone.

bridget fell up three stairs today. i love bridget.

i do not love the automatic aligning microsoft word entitles me to.

frustration!

so anywho, i need out. sorry this one sucked so much.

today is yet another new day in a new day continuum.

my mother started to laugh during dinner while amy grant could be heard in the background, demanding that santa bring her some toys.

its just been that kind of day: funny because it isnt funny.

like when i went to first period and got excited because there was an awards ceremony, but quickly came to find that it was only for seniors.

or like when i met my student after school and thought he had actually studied, but only came to discover that he picked his nose all weekend.

or like when i came home and started thinking about how much i hate school.

wait a minute. thats not funny at all.

not to complain or anything.

we learned about ambiguous triangles or solutions or something of that nature today. all i could think of was the ambiguously gay duo.

that about sums it up.

sha la la la la la la la la la la ti da.
la ti da.

friends, today is a new day. i said what i had to say and did what i had to do; i begged where there was no mercy and i pleaded with stone walls. i got some things thrown in my face for it (both figuratively and literally), and i doubt that any of it will clear up any time soon, but would you guess it? i dont really care. i was honest, and i dont think a price can be placed on the hard things you have to do in life.

i took one of the longest routes home today after school. i had the windows down and my hair up. the sun shone in distinguishable streaks upon the cracked roads like it really wanted to be a comfort, and the wind blew in upon me like it really wanted to be december.

i spent a lot of time today thinking about how life was before i started to grow up; that is, before it really began.

i was living in an illusion for the first fifteen years of my life, and i cant say that everything has been revealed to me even yet, because there is still so much i dont know. the only difference between today and december first of last year is that in 2002, i thought i had found forever in someone who couldnt hold on to virtue even if it superglued itself to the palms of his hands.

really, it was all stupidity on my part, mixed with a heavy dosage of infatuation and a few heaping tablespoons of the need to live in harmony with what i thought should have been.

his part? couldnt say why he stuck with it for so long.

so to clarify:
1. robert (the forbidden one) and i will never happen again. it was an "us" that is now a "once."
2. i refuse to date or think about dating anyone. in my strange, hateful mind, boys are the poison of the earth.
3. friends are the only ones who can hear you through and say what you want them to say, even though most of the time it might not be true, untying your shoes while telling you sweet little lies to make you feel better.
4. God can also help. in fact, He probably helps more than friends, but i think anyone who has been in touch with Him would expect that.
5. i. despise. mark. twain.

this should explain any and all of my mood swings. for everything else that the aforementioned statements do not account for, i shall allow the blame to fall on my gender for its reputation of complexity and impracticality.

and though you didnt want to know, i told you.

isnt life peachy?

for all those who i have been bitchy to: sorry. i didnt mean to. unless your name is dianne. then i did mean to be a bitch.

i will keep you updated on the positives once again. the rest i have decided not so much to put behind me, but to keep afloat on the surface so that i can avoid stupid mistakes.

well, not all stupid mistakes. im entitled to a eyeful, and ive still got some good ones left to go.

also, if you sign up for anything that requires the use of your mothers credit card, debit card, or checking account information, be prepared to be brutally murdered, as it is quite easy to register but impossible to remove yourself from the records.

the sun is shining bright and happy, and its freezing. its cool that the seasons are changing, and now its almost not-summer.

in case any of you were wondering, i. hate. school. i mean, come on, academics. take her easy, now.

granted, my sitting here typing will not get my homework done.

meh.

im taking the sat next saturday morning. hopefully ill be able to find king. thats what you get for signing up on the last possible date. as kj says, procrastinate now (though if you think about it, that statement doesnt really make sense.).

as i write this, the peter pan kids are learning me about frosty the snowman. truly, i do believe he was a jolly, happy soul. they also state that they love snow. see? "i LOVE snow. i LOOOOOVE snow. la, da, daaaaa. i love iiiiit sooooo."

jim rapped today. here are his prophetical words of wisdom:
"my name is jim, i like to rap//among other thing cause i also like to eat...not crap//i like to eat yoyoyo//i eat things on the go//don't give me no talk 'bout cholesteral//i like bar-b-qued chicken the best of all//end"

thats all for today. adios.

today (still in saturday mode) was nothing special. something FREEZING, but nothing special.

unless having the longest hangnail in the history of the world counts.

i have to present my engineering project next week. im not concerned. the last time i didnt worry about a project, i got myself an a+, so im hoping that will work again.

then again, i hoped it would rain noodles today. no such luck.

probably the uncoolest thing ever is realizing that you will never again work in the morning on a saturday as long as you live. no joke, my friends. i have missed work every other week (or was graciously rescheduled for an evening shift) for over a month now, so that i am stuck forever on the 2 - 9:30 plan. thank you, terri. i love how i have no idea where you were imported from.

a new place opened up recently. let me show you what i left on the table this afternoon:

dear firehouse subs:
yum.
not.
love, maggie.

then i thought about things and realized i missed my sister, so i wrote her a love note:

dear erin:
ill cut you.
love, maggie.

so that was my day. i leave you with a word of advice: if you dont want your opponent to guess your word for hangman, i suggest using "gastropoda." i didnt get it even after all the letters were filled in.

this is idiot, signing out.

nine minutes to update, and then im off to work.

today, i followed in the pursuit of many americans and, well, shopped. the only people i have left to buy presents for are alicia and my mom. horray for organization.

the day was absolutely wonderful up until it began to rain. then it became perfect. tomorrow its supposed to actually feel like late november, so im pretty excited about that (you can tell my social activities have been lacking when i think about the weather.).

my friends, the advantage of having a four-item christmas list is getting all four items.

surprisingly, last night i watched the whole of the second lord of the rings movie. i. love. link.

it hasnt been quite nine minutes, but im out of things to say.

war and ricecakes.

the sun is shining so bright and cozy today. im feeling a lot better about things.

i have decided that this thanksgiving, i am the most thankful for God in my life, my friends, and my family. im thankful for God because He has blessed me infinitely and given me His love; for my friends for helping me through the hard times, even though they knew nothing (or close to nothing) of my situation (real friends will support you when they dont even know anything is wrong.); and my family because my sister holds my hand during the Our Father, my dad calls me "pie," and my mom can compare my massive bruise to spilled grape jelly without my getting pissed off.

i feel an incredible sense of belonging when i am with the aforementioned people-slash-being.

thanks to everyone who reads this for putting up with my bovine feces. i love you guys, and i mean it more than i mean pi is 3.14.

speaking of which, call me if you want some. pie, that is. three is far too much for a family of five.

i hope everyone has a wonderful day, and i hope its just as sunny at your house as it is at mine.

the pity party is over.

my sister comes home tonight.

new pity party.

just kidding.

somewhat.

anywho, the weather outside is absolutely delightful. yesterday it was gray and misty all day. i hearted it with all my heart. today it is sunny, and i have yet to step outside. hopefully the cool air is still hanging around.

dream is funny.

are there any lyrics to "louie, louie?"

probably the funnest thing in the world is dusting.

i get to go to the movies today with puff, so im pretty excited.

however, im also pretty stinky, so i need to shower.

until next time, adieu.

"to everything there is a season,
and ours has come and gone."

you are not who i thought you were. youre just like everyone else. i cant believe i was so blind to it, and now im only numb from it.

"nothing matters anymore,
and i cant wish anymore."

its not that i feel as empty as i did before. i just feel... well... left out. but im alright with that; ill be ok.

"call 911. im already dead, but someone should be held responsible for this -
this bloody mess."

its like a volcano was lying dormant inside of me for the first sixteen years of my life. but now it has erupted, and with it every degree of hopelessness has poured forth. i feel like a memory to you.

"...and the way you look tonight."

but i wont forget it. not a single moment of it. not the car rides or the car shows, not the smiles or the calls, not the ice or the fire, not the laughter or the tears, not the growing up or the growing away.

"in case youre wondering,
this songs about growing up."

so heres to all the stars that laughed and all the stars that cried. heres to the willows and the winds and the headlights. heres to kisses and bubble gum and youth.

in other words, heres to you.

(laugh. it couldnt possibly make things worse, and it should seem funny to you.)

top story of the day: doodle fell down the stairs. it was actually more like plunged down the stairs. either way, i have a huge welt on my leg to remind me of that happy little incident. even if i didnt, dana would be sure to keep the story alive.

it was right after school, so there were a lot of other students walking down the stairs. i lost my footing, thought "im going to fall now," and proceeded to fall. except i didnt stop there. i continued to tumble down five more stairs (yes, it hurt.). when about half of the falling was over with, i saw a black umbrella shoot past me and fall to the landing below. when the stairs ended, i found myself sprawled with my backpack on my side and my folders, miraculously, still in my hands. a girl came up to me (while dana choked on her laughter), picked up her purse (the "umbrella," which dana, afterwards, told me i threw.), and asked if i was ok.

man, i was laughing too hard to answer her.

so thats my funniness for the day.

i had no idea it was friday until someone told me that it was. this happened in homeroom. the rest of my day was pretty dern good after that.

also, amber equals rock. she was the best little pocahantas ive ever seen. she can kick disneys bottom any day.

andrew suggested using a cat for my led case. i suggested otherwise.

speaking of cats, mine is doing that really cute thing cats do when they clean their faces. she went to put her front leg on the back of her head and accidentally got her ear stuck inside-out. silly mins.

and now that im out of intersting things to say, i shall leave you with a quote from the skunk and the beaver:

"ive been around the world and im goin' again."
"hambone."

have you ever said something, and immediately after you said it you wished you could pull the words out of the air and swallow them whole? i have. not today though.

the weather is royally kicking.

and i am totally going to be late to ambers debut if i dont hustle my arse.

adios.

ive got ten minutes to fill you in on a very uneventful day, so here i go:

fbi agents are very loud and i never want to be an engineer. ever.

i sold all of my candy.

all of my friends are gorgeous.

amasmete means nothing in spanish. absolutely nothing.

and those are the lame proceedings of my day.

much love and stuff.

seventy points for dream for not coming to school on a schutz-quiz day. that ought to put her ahead of everyone in the world.

bit of irony for the day: dana got her class ring, and kim lost her opal one. guitar for dana. sucks for kim.

my camera is lost forever. i am now left with jessica helms homecoming pictures. at least i still have the shot of matt hanging with john paul.
"ask the pope a question."
"pope, will we ever get back to the hotel?"
[shake.]
"pope says, 'ask again later.'"

carrots, handbags, cheese.

makeup work is totally the worst idea ever.

so i gave in and im going to tutor kid number one again next week. but i swear, if he doesnt know his "nunca" and "ser" and "estudiar" and "con" by next week, nunca seria estudiar con se.

pat from the american veterans association called. she will call back later.

i wore my shirt from bismarck today, but only my "throw me at a fur-wearer" sticker was noticed. i wonder why.

they say that jelly bracelts equal sex. ive got to hand it to them: middle schoolers are a lot more promiscuous now than when i wandered among them.

by the way, this is me doing my homework.

they also say they bought me christmas presents. interesting, considering i have expressed an interest in nothing. im thinking calendar. definately a calendar.

so now that weve discussed a lot, im out.

in the words of general jihad, peace and cheesecakes.

quiz fun in analysis of functions tomorrow. guess who should be studying right now?

so ncyc was a kaboom. my friends wrote me notes in my absence, which i thought was schpiffy. i traded like a madwoman, and now im two shirts the richer. also, everyone is from minnesota - everyone in the world.

mr. schutz almost wasnt at school today, but then he was.

i just printed my homework on the stationary my dad uses for sending letters to his mamacita. mr. mccoole may appreciate autumn leaves. then again, he may not. im betting on the latter.

second time ive seen the word "latter" today.

clap your hands if youre tired.

my undone homework is burning a hole in my backpack. id be tempted to let that happen, were it not sitting on my bed.

"and ill hang around as long as you will let me,
and i never minded standin' in the rain.
you dont have to call me darlin', darlin';
you never even call me by name."

dear all of my suffering friends:
apathy is a wonderful alternative. and my sister is a big 'mo.
love, maggie

tomorrow i am leaving for texas. whos excited? this girl right here. i was sent away from school this afternoon with "bye, maggie. have fun learning about the Lord!"

i went jihad on my english project today. i didnt use even one "like" while presenting. it. was. awesome.

the weather today was spectacular.

i almost died laughing when the neighbors ran into their concrete mailbox yesterday. instead of going on with life, the guy went inside to get out his son/cousin/father/uncle/sister to think about what happened. they stood in the driveway for ten minutes contemplating it before the world began to revolve again.

check it out: i got a postcard today for a cow down ("no cows. just fun!"). chicken sandwiches will be provided by chick-fil-a, in case you were concerned.

and now the time has come for me to leave you for a few days.
to dream: endure! jihad!
to andrew: i will find the place where olsen was shot at and bring it back with me.
to erin: dont say "faggot" until i come back.
to whoever else still reads this: you still owe me five bucks.

adieu.

"i woke up today with a cupful of sunshine on my nightstand and a hope in my heart.
it was the first time in a long time.
it was heaven."

for all of my friends who are suffering, the sun will shine again. i promise, or you get the nevsimal refund, only its the kennedy refund because i am no nevsimal.

i love you, funny bunny!

and for all those who royally suck:

thank you for making me cry.

i hate you.

you know who you are.

and to all of my friends:

thank you for putting up with me. i know im moody and i know i suck. thanks for not ditching me. i love you.

well, most of you.

so this past week was filled with studying, studying, and studying. when i wasnt studying, i was busy studying. needless to say, i didnt get a chance to update you on my trivial joys, triumphs, hardships, and woes. i would like to take this opportunity to fill you in on the highlights of the previous week (in no particular order):

friday:
retaking the analysis of functions test was an incredibly wonderful idea.

tuesday:
"we should have a free day."
"free day? free week."
"i concur."

tuesday:
"mrs. pardo, i dont understand: review and asses...?"
"review and assess."

sometime a few months before last week:
"do you have any broaches?"
"broaches? im afraid im not sure what a broach is, maam."
"HA, HA, HA, HA, H- a pin."

saturday:
"hey, barbie. plans have changed. would you like to go to hell?"

sometime that was neither this week nor last:
jim to ricky, on why ricky should not try to pull jims "hey, you have something on your shirt. hyoooo!" stunt: "no, ricky! dont do it! shell bite you!"
me: "[bite, bite.]"
ricky: "hey. thats kind of sexy."
me: "[shuts mouth. forever.]"

another from sometime that was neither this week nor last:
graham: "hey, phil!"
phil: "."
graham: "oh. youre probably counting, arent you?"
phil: "."
graham: "ill bet youll get in trouble if you talk, because then youll mess up the beat and be screwed."
phil: "."
graham: "so basically, i could say anything i want and you cant do a thing about it."
phil: "."
sweeney: "were gonna go sit down."
graham: "bye, phil."

today:
"are you busy tomorrow?"
"no. do you want to do something?"
"yeah. i was thinking we could have lunch or brunch. something with an 'unch' in it."

wednesday:
"why are you going to hooston, doodle?"

and this concludes our broadcast day.

ps: ncyc esta mi amor.

the people across the street are moving. i hope they dont forget to pack their common sense. of which they have none.

tutoree number one was a failure. im about to quit him. why waste your time on someone who wont even study? boy, i tell you...

today is my parents twenty-fourth anniversary. aaw.

check it: luis is trying to be nice to me. pitiful, isnt it?

but on the subject of homecoming, wooooooooooooooooo-ee! i had me a rootin', tootin', rowdy good time, chuckleberry! i danced my pants off, which really isnt much of a surprise, considering i went sans pants.

dana wound up in a poo hole and showed up around 5:45. to make things peachier, our reservations were lost in the bowels of el beppo. dana was about to rip someone a second butthole, but then her mom biotched at the hostess (long story on why she was there) (not really. i just wanted to say that because i thought it would be less typing because these nails are driving me crazy. of course, i couldve typed the story ten times over by now, but thats not the point.) (...of which i have none.) and we were seated pronto. next to five empty tables. that we couldve been sitting in thirty minutes earlier.

at the dance, i, well, danced. i stepped in some wettness and some stickiness, but no matter - a good time was had by all. everyone got a kick out of jims crazy gyrations ("jims gyrations" sounds like some kind of burrito shack in the middle of nowhere, texas.).

afterwards, we got drunk and drove all around town. i even whored myself on nebraska (pictures to be posted at a later date.).

or we went to ihop and i ordered a smiley face pancake. yum.

yesterday, i went to the mall with alicia. we saw runaway jury. i figured out the plot without looking it up online.

today was meh, then yay, then blah, then major blah, then blah to the millionth power, then yay to the billionth power. got that?

dream licked her elbow again today. i love dream.

and now i must go for fear of being beheaded. adieu.

tonight is the homecoming dance. whos excited? this girl right here.

im going to pick up jims flower (lets just call it a bout for short, mainly because i cant spell the whole word.) as soon as my dad gets back.

at 2:30, im getting a pretty little updo. this my mother will oversee.

jim will be here by 5:00, and around 5:15 dana will arrive. well take some pictures before the sun goes down, and then hang out here until about 6:00. then its off to buca for a 6:30 dinner reservation. that gets us to the dance around 8:30, which is as close to fashionably late as i will ever come.

i shall then procede to have fun and forget all about my camera until five minutes before midnight, a time at which i shall demand that my friends pose as i maniacally finish two rolls of film.

if all goes right, paul simon, we will not make a new plan, stan.

my dad is here, so im out. adieu.

(amber: no.)