mr. n.: i want [your projects] to be cheap economically, but with good structure. i mean, don't use anything from taiwan.
chuck: thanks.

jake, on having the pukes yesterday: i totally repainted the driveway.

if i was stuck on a desert island with everything and had to pick three things i couldn't have, they would definately have to be mullets, elipses, and louis vuitton merchandise.

then again, it wouldn't be much of a desert island with a closet full of mootsie's tootsies and firemen dotting the highways.

why do i insist on talking?

reed sang the monkey song today. you know the one - where the little monkeys are jumping on the bed and keep bashing their noggins.

no significance to that statement. just thought i'd let you know.

amidst all this insanity, i did learn something today: there was once a lettuce strike all across america. or, as triple-a would say, "america!"

nanana.

"10 more minutes of statistics having sex with the other statistics of the same sex."

i'm glad i signed up for the class.

it's time for some homework.

or, as j. d. salinger would have said, "for ^sake, i have so much gd homework these days. it's so gd depressing. mrs. pardo gave us an assignment and said the due date wouldn't be pushed back, so for once, i finished the assignment on time. then she said it wouldn't be due until monday, because she won't be at the gd school tomorrow. that kills me. it really does. but i really have to go. i got more homework today. i'm not kidding. i swear to ^."

you know what's my favorite thing? my friends. they're always there for me, even when they probably shouldn't be. but in the end, everything is a lot cheerier because they stick with my lame self.

so, because mariah carey is (sarcasm button) so inspirational and such a great role model, i feel the need to quote her here.

"there’s a hero if you look inside your heart;
you don’t have to be afraid of what you are.
there’s an answer
if you reach into your soul,
and the sorrow that you know will melt away

and then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on,
and you cast your fears aside,
and you know you can survive.
so when you feel like hope is gone,
look inside you and be strong,
and you’ll finally see the truth -
that a hero lies in you.

it’s a long road when you face the world alone;
no one reaches out a hand for you to hold
you can find love if you search within yourself,
and the emptiness you felt will disappear.

and then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on,
and you cast your fears aside,
and you know you can survive.
so when you feel like hope is gone,
look inside you and be strong,
and you’ll finally see the truth -
that a hero lies in you.

Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,
but don’t let anyone tear them away.
hold on; there will be tomorrow.
in time, you’ll find the way.

gurgle, gurgle, gurgle."

to supergirl: i'm always here for you. you can count on me, all the way up to infinity, which i hear love is like.

to all the other supers in my life: yeah. sure. i'm here for you. most of the time. you know how it goes.

time to catch some rye, and not shut-eye, because that's not fly in the middle of the ni...le.

[kitty in a teapot - poor guy.]

i've been catching rye all afternoon, so here i am on my well-deserved break, talking like the lunatic i am.

my dad is coming home tonight. this is a good thing. no one has called me noobie all week.

my family room smells very good.

and now for the poetical works of maerd krap:

"nanana, nanana, nanana. you're so gay.
with your younger brother, :).
but, oh, nanana.
did you know that :) was cheating on you?
i walked in on :) and your second younger brother, pork, one day.
i was shocked, but they promised to give me a [bouquet of roses],
so i didn't disclose the secret to you.
oh, nanana; i'm so sowwy.
i should've known. they were in fact too busy with their own business.
they never kept their promise, nanana.
thus i reveal this secret to you now.
oh, nanana; i'm sowwy
for your gay brothers,
for your love life that has failed,
for your parents [nibble] and nancy, who are also gay,
and for you, nanana mix - your own homosexuality."

all hail.

and now that i have related to you my beautiful day, i shall leave (no joke. it smells really good in here.).

[tree-climbers]

"and i think it's gonna be alright;
yeah, the worst is over now.
the morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball."

check your mail, kids. did you get this month's issue of the florida orchestra?

lucky you.

i forgot to mention that my closet collapsed sometime in the wee hours last sunday morn. it's fun having a pile (or three) of unorganized clothing.

no. it certainly doesn't bother me any that it's not color coded and stacked according to sleeve length. why would it?

a half no-eye dear.

i'm off to be pardo's bitch for the rest of the evening.

this is mageek signing off.

hi. my name is maggie. i don't want a boyfriend, and i'm perfectly fine being alone this february fourteenth.

there. i said it.

"where else would it go?
the sky is all it seemed to ever know.
caught up in the day.
quietly it shines the day away."

you know what's up? definately not editorials.

thank you, fellow students of the lovely vivian gaither high school, for spreading the joy and the germs.

on a brighter note, brian kensky and my favorite person came in while i was at work today: the customer formerly known as the alfred sung lady. i would tell people she's my aunt, but there's a bit of a race barier.

not that that stopped me.

you know, it feels like a chelsea morning even though it's 9:05 pm. and for as much as joni mitchell should suck in my eyes, she doesn't; she just doesn't.

are you feeling love-y? locks of love-y? i am. my hair is already well over a foot long, but i want to actually have hair after i chop off the minimum ten inches.

but, according to m-sol, no one would want my hair because of all my split ends. honesty is a virtue.

um. ha.

so tomorrow i'm getting my hair trimmed, and i just might have to stop elsewhere to prepare for the seventeenth anniversary of the birth of the lovely dream park, which is coming up on the fourth. or third. or february pi-rd.

that's most of my day in a nutshell.

this is me, avoiding studying.

"you have big feet."
"i know, but these shoes are too big. don't tell anyone, but they're men's."
"well, they don't look like it. maybe they're - what's the word? homo... hetero... omnisex shoes."

mr murray: "sometimes you see the book at the store down the way. what's it called?"
virat: "barnes is noble?"
dan: "he doesn't know. he's an indian."

i can't say anything exciting has been happening lately. it's same-old same-old around here, with fordham, a jesuit university, still sending me newsletters, and samuel clemens still refusing to huck off.

really. that's it.

[boom squared.]

so here's my impression of erie:

"hi. i'm from pennsylvania, and i'm really cold."

p-guy is doing alright. it's a lot different without nana, though.

grama is in the hospital again. my mom and i went to visit her saturday afternoon.

me: [kiss.]
grama: "refreshing!"

and with that being all i can think of, i'm out.

[gerber-garber baby food.]

supposedly, i've been quite melancholy lately, but today i was "...all smilie."

go figure.

so things are shaping up beautifully. i'm going to take real, live academic courses next year, but not so many that i'll have a nervous breakdown.

in theory.

i got something in the mail for a summer "discovery" program. in almost every picture, the students are jumping. for what? why, for spending thousands of dollars to have the best summer of their life, of course!

today is lovely.

and i am done.

"give her salmonella."
"yeah. salmonellon."
"salmonella."
"salmonellon."
"salmonella. and, either way, it should be 'salmonellosis.'"
"salmonello... salmomell... salmonellon."

there.

i should be finishing up the english letter, but i have typer's block right now, so i will commence after publication.

my hands smell like my car freshener. it fell when i was adjusting it (don't ask.). all i did was pick it up. that was at 3:00, and i've washed my hands a few times since then.

no matter. i can dig the laundry smell.

that's about the only interesting thing i have to say.

on that sorry note, i leave.

"monday is martin luther king day."
"aaw. i love that guy, even though he was black."

happy?

i didn't have to kill john, one of my students, today. then again, he did bribe me with presents. i think i'll get angry more often.

about that whole "ap chemistry being only one class period instead of two" thing, incorrect. it all depends.

it seems to me as though everything depends regarding course selections. great way to end thirteen years of education, public school system; great way to end.

so, in conclusion, i have no idea what i'm going to sign up for.

on the most depressing note of, um, my life, laura fudgecow is moving. to alabama.
huntsville, alabama.

fudgecow.

my fudgecow.

moving.

away.

forever.

even though she won't be packing up until the end of this summer, i would like to make a mini-tribute here for my twin, the sole purpose of which is to confuse everyone who is not laura (the tribute, that is):

cotton fields in the sky...
yewah, why? oh, why?
climbing a big tree -
plastic dinosours for you and me.
ketchup is delish,
so don't diss.
even though that last one didn't rhyme.

to the gorry to the gat to the gucked to the go to the guch. probably i cannot write poems now because i got stuck in a sweatshirt. at least i didn't wear myself out before my entrapment by running up and down the escalator, much the way a retarded high school junior would. er, wouldn't. either way, anything is better than suffocating from your noxious fumes (you can CERTAINLY take the extra bed when you visit. which you will.). just so long as you don't trip when you get on that plane, i'll be ok, chile. magg'll be juss fyne. k? k-k! and also as long as you remember that i was the first to think of marrying the apex guy, because i'd be "...doing it for Jesus! i'm smiling for Jesus!" if we ever tour europe, will you hold my hand while we ride the vomit comet? that would make me feel spechal.

because, laura fudgecow, you never smelled like pig shit to me.

i shall end abruptly. just like this. because it always sounds funny when laura says "pig shit."

and so it goes: i'm a virtual celebrity.

today was quite the day. let me break it down piece by piece:

first period, we got our analysis quizzes back. i scored exactly how i thought i would, which never happens.

second period, i was told that reed is awesome. by reed. so, in order to follow his command and make him the most awesome of the tribe of awesome at the lovely gaither senior high, i shall quote him here:

reed: i want to live on a reservation.

please, hold your applause.

third period, laura fudgecow made a funny: "you're wearing Jesus shoes."

fourth period, i got some hindsight on what a potential forensic scientist may want to take her senior year of high school. and i also found out that ap chemistry, if offered next year, will only be one hour long.

fifth period, we watched finding nemo in spanish in english.

got that?

sixth period, i was graded on my blinky-blink and assigned a challengy-challenge.

i'll quit with classes there.

i drove dream home, and she knocked me out when she left. thanks, buddy.

i came home and discovered some horrifying news: the foreign language sats are offered only in november. what genius thought of that rule? i'll sick dream on him.

time to finish a lab on rolly-pollies. adieu.

"where are we?"
"some place unlike any other you've seen, my dear."
"what are these? diamonds?"
"that they are, my dear, but you must not take them."
"but, my love: there are so many. surely the absense of one will go unnoticed."

she reached for the precious stone, but he seized her hand.

"my dear, i said you mustn't take the diamonds."
"but, my love-"
"no!"

his sudden scolding made her cower.

"my dear, my dear! i did not mean to frighten you. forgive me."
"yes, my love. you did not mean to frighten me."

they wandered for a while; one hour, two hours, two years - they were unaware of the passing time.

"my love, you said when we first came that i mustn't take the diamonds."
"my dear, you heard correctly."
"and now, my love, we have been here for some time."
"my dear, you are correct."
"so would i be wrong to assume that time has changed your mind? there are so many-"
"you are wrong to assume, my dear."
"but why?"
"you need not know the reason for what i say, but take heed of my words: do not take the diamonds."
"but, my love, if you do not tell me-"
"enough!"
"but, my love!"
"enough! enough! do not take-"

but he stood too far away to stop her.

with her delicate hand, she plucked one small diamond from where the sun shone down upon it.

"my love, what were your reasons? you see, nothing has happened. the world still revolves. the flowers still bloom. we are still here."

she turned around to face him.

"my love?"

he was not there.

two things: no, my hair will not curl; and if you ever receive a pacakage of free nails in the mail, i advise that you not experiment with them.

marilyn manson ate reliant k's girlfriend.

with that off my chest, i'm going to take the sat ii this april for spanish. yeah, yeah, yeah; it was made for real, live hispanics. but what kind of nerd would i be to throw in the towel and struggle through an ap class for a whole entire school year taught completely in another language? hmm?

that's what i thought. worth a try, eh? eh?

anyone?

i'm going to review claire mitchel for the english project. this should be fun.

you know what's lame? getting your kicks from telling a high school junior sweet little lies. especially if your name is erinkathleenkennedyscottsomethingschankerothergirlwhowasintheroom.

by the way, my sister shat her pants.

that's all for today.

peace and cheesecakes.

and now for a real update:

andrew got red poweraid all over three people (himself included) at lunch today.

ok. so maybe not all over, but you know - i said it for effect. and now that i've killed it, i'll move on.

work was nothing brutal, but i did feel like being brutal with some customers.

er...

anywho, about this whole "gonig to arizona and colorado on spring break and snowboarding thing," it's pretty spiffy, eh?

well, that's it. thanks for tuning in.

reed: am i fat?
chris: you're getting there.

today was pleasant and not at all unlike a nectarine.

dream in an imaginary conversation with mrs. angert:

dream: GAH! curse her! we hates her!
angert: i'm tired of the number of students who are passing! let's just tie them up and give them a pop quiz!
dream: no! that would kill us, kill ussss!
angert: it's nothing more than you deserve!
dream: we'll be nice to them, if they'll be nice to us. don't give it to us!
dream: we swears to do what you wants. we ssswears!
dream: we swears to serve the master of the.... history. we will swear on, on the preciousss! [gollum, gollum]

- (talking among herselves)-
1: master betrayed us! wicked, tricksy, filth! we ought to wring her filthy little neck... kill her! kill her! then we take the preciousss and we be the master.
2: yes! no. no. it's too risky, it's too risky.
1: we could let her do it. (referring to general jihad)
2: yes, she could do it.
1: yes, precious she could. and then we takes it once she's dead.
2: once she's dead. hush!

that was dream, coming to you live from my pc.

and now for more to rock your socks:

mr. nevsimal: you can a file anything you want. you can name it "shine" or "light." you [pointing to phil] could even name it "thomley." or you could name it "patel" if you wanted it to shut down and not do anything.

laura fudgecow: hey! that rhymes!
me: what does?
laura fudgecow: "i know my shapes! circle, triangle, square - hooray!" ... ok. so it doesn't.

l-rock: i tripped yesterday, and i totally thought about how you'd be laughing your ass off if you had been there.

me: you have a piece of lettuce on your thumb.
dad: what?
me: you have a piece of lettuce on your thumb.
dad: [looks at stomach.]

"i dropped them off, kim, and they disappeared!"
"you didn't see them go inside?"
"no. i think they were angels."

it's been a stupendous week.

and for all those looking for an easy class senior year, i highly suggest earth and space science.

and with that, i disappear into thin air.

or fat air. you know.

dad: "i'm fat. f-h-a-t."

it's been that kind of a day.

good morning, starshines.

i finally got around to typing up my huck questions. by and by, it warn't so bad.

my mom and i are going shopping in a little while. i'm a fan of spending money these days.

if i can plan out the week, i may be spending spring break in california. YAY.

and i swear, if i hear one more lovey-dovey "album" commercial or anything in that general nature, i'll die. just die, i tell you. sometimes all i don't need is the air that i breathe and to love you. so take that, hollies.

anyways, time to clean mi cuarto. adios.

going for a record four posts in one day. can she do it? i think so.

tomorrow is the last day of the generic "winter break." i'm sad to see it go, yet at the same time relieved. screwy, ain't it?

i need to clean my room tomorrow, too. things have been accumulating. it's time to find a home for all the etc.

i have officially run out of things to say.

um. chris cagle, if you ever decide to be twenty years younger, let me know.

good night.
good fight.

also, i'm a nerdslut.

i said, "screw it," and went with the ugly.

i couldn't fall asleep last night because there was something in my eye, which wound up being nothing at all.

you know what song makes me laugh because it makes no sense but all the sense in the world? "easy like sunday morning."

yeah. that's right. you heard me. i'm a soul sister. what's it to you?

dad found all the differences betwixt the two pictures in the newspaper.

i've been having some strange dreams lately. i can't remember any of them, but i know they were strange.

thought you'd like to know.

melissa came in while i was at work yesterday. she's so boo, i tell you, but i love her.

turns out she wasn't kidding about being busy: school all morning and early afternoon, to work at four to eleven, to sleep whenever she gets around to it.

um, wow.

and with that, i leave you.

i thought i saw a familiar car in the parking lot when i went to work this afternoon. the thought crossed my mind for far too long, i will admit, but i knew he wasn't going to be there.

what if he did meet me in the middle? what would happen? would we really change for each other?

"in our short years, we come a long way
to treat it bad - just to throw it away."

i love the way it hurts so bad i can't feel it.

on the subject of changing this template, should i try to make it pretty, or should i just make it ugly on purpose?

i have to work tonight at 5:00, so that should be fun.

my face is both burned and tanned on the left side so that you can see where my huge, j-lo imitation sunglasses sat.

i'm sure it'll be funnier later.

my dad has been playing oregon trail five. so far, nucklehead, butthole, and pickle have survived.

last night i dreamed that i was sailing up the mississippi river. and i haven't picked up huckleberry finn in almost a week. delayed reaction? i think so.

you know, the price is rarely right.

i haven't a thing to do today; this. is. beautiful.

except go to work and avoid the mirror.

to the bat cave.

and so the gators suck.

amber and i went to the outback bowl. oh, and my sister and my dad, too. and an incredibly obnoxious half-wit who sat behind us.

anywho, the sun was a-burnin', the crowd was a-yellin', and florida was a-losin'. it was a sight to see.

wait a minute. no it wasn't.

about last night: andrew's dad apparently didn't know his friends were coming over. james had to leave at 8:30, jim's family planned some last-minute deal, and fez was at work. that left me, andrew, andrew's sister, and five million napkins, less one maggie when 11:00 rolled around.

since going to a sleepy home and watching law and order hadn't been high on my list of fun things to do on new year's eve, i called my mom and asked if i could join her and my dad at the hussin's.

i drove my sober self out to lutz and spent an hour or so with the two sets of parents i consider to be my own, plus two extra sets and some guinea pigs on the side.

in conclusion, i need to find better endings.