So there.

I was astounded at the ignorance of a man I met last Sunday night. In response, this is what I should like to quote, if I ever happen to see him again:

"The World Health Organization estimates that climate change is already helping to kill 150,000 people a year, mainly in Africa and Asia. That number is bound to rise as global warming intensifies in the years ahead."

Mark Hertsgaard, "While Washington Slept; The Queen of England is Afraid." Vanity Fair (May 2006).

How can I be happy knowing that the things that bring me petty luxuries - air conditioning, an affordable car, plastic spoons in restaurants - are contributing to the sufferings of others who have never enjoyed such things? How can I sit back and let someone else take the blame, myself choosing to ignore the evidence and finding solace in saying, "It's over for them anyways..."? How can anyone be so cold, so cruel, and so selfish as to turn their back on people in need of help, especially when the need has been intensified by my own actions and inaction?

This is why I now study, in the hope that one day my studies will culminate in progressive action instead of retorts.

?

Do you ever take a step back from your life and think, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

I have recently come to the realization that my life is not only on a chain, but also a conglomeration of "Huh?"s and "ORLY?"s. I mean seriously: what the fuck.

I woke up this morning knowing something weird was going to happen today, and it did, but I can't tell you what it was because it's not something I can put into words. It's that feeling halfway between complete doom and complete freedom - the way the Earth looks right before a huge storm that never happens transcribed to human experience.

I have no idea what is going on. Maybe someone slipped more overdue Shirataki noodles into my soup when I was in the bathroom smelling the soap - I don't know. What I do know is that the world is either going to explode or implode at a time not too far from now, and then all this - the research, the interviewing, that bitchy little nurse who has it out for me - will amount to an ethnography of something no one will ever be able to read.

What the fuck.