another year has come to a close. i've dated too many things ".03," and it's time for change.

things i'll have to remember (in no particular order):

1. laura's boss thinks she's mentally handicapped.
2. driver's liscense.
3. starfest.
4. lilly nichole blay.
5. "come to her aid."
6. book artists.
7. broderick usher III.
8. chuck sucks.
9. breaking up.
10. ending the endless notebook.
11. catfish helmet.
12. ncyc.
13. getting jigerous.
14. buying the takamine.
15. brussel sprouts.

sure, there are millions of other things i could add, but fifteen is a nice round number because it is divisible by three five times, and five is one less than six, which is two times three, and one times three is three.

happy new year!

and on the subject of the whole "mary" deal, don't worry about it.

it's not important.

it's not like it's my alias or anything.

my punching is said to feel like tickling.

it's fun to spend the money of others.

my mom, my sister, and i got our cartilage pierced. it really doesn't hurt. i'm quite pleased.

tonight my family is going out to dinner at the factory of cake of the cheese variety. scrumptulescent.

afterwards, i'm going over to andrew's to play mario party.

i love it. it i love.

have you noticed the appropriately placed apostrophes? this is me, being more grammatically correct.

now that i've rambled my bit, i'm out.

mom: jonathan, what are you doing?
dad: i...
mom: are you dusting the television with my christmas pillow?
dad: i...
mom: well, stop it!

about me not updating:

christmas rocked, alicia left on friday, and work was actually somewhat enjoyable. go figure.

my parents gave in and im going to get my cartilage pierced tomorrow. schpiffy.

my sister and i went shopping on friday. new clothes equal smile.

i wish i had something a little more interesting to say, but i dont. so, i end.

adieu.

sleeping in is my new best friend.

i finally got around to looking at college stuff. i still have no clue as to where to go. isnt it grand?

"sister golden hair" is stuck in my head again, and according to dustin, my level of special is infinite.

tonight were going to mass, and tomorrow is bunches 'o fun. the baby Jesus will be turned over at the rose house, too.

well, thats all for now.

happy almost-christmas.

so the movie sucked and i felt like puking through the whole five years of it.

thats that.

i woke up ridiculously late again this morning with thoughts of sunshine on my mind.

i really feel fine. its quite amazing, actually. it doesnt feel like christmas, but it definately feels better. thanks, friends, for putting up with me time after time.

tonight im going to see master and commander with el grupo. yay.

i went out tonight and had fun. dream let me wear her elf-hat, and i sat on a bean-bag for a time.

then i came home to end the evening laughing at the expense of others and wondering how sniffen found my yahoo profile, which i forgot i had made.

and now micah green is stuck in my head. for the record, we will not fit together just fine.

and now that ive made one more pointless entry, goodnight.

i went over to alicias today after sleeping like a maniac. we watched the jim carrey grinch - it was a splendid good time, chum. then we discussed her job and my needing to find another one. come to find she makes 1.5 times my weekly paycheck in one 4.5-hour shift. hmm...

then i came home and slept some more. that was enjoyable.

tonight is left wide open with nothing to do. guitar-fun? i think so.

thats all for now, folks.

work yesterday was surprisingly amusing. we are now selling boxes with red, fat women on them, and clowns are strewn all over the childrens department. accessories just stank.

betty: "it smells like a body."

my parents composed a musical masterpiece in my absence yesterday afternoon: "its christmasy in here. its christmasy in here. we like christmas in here." boys, im still single.

i played mario party last night with andu, fez, and jim. the latter two had a particularly grand time. and i particularly lost.

i saw my fiance today on the big screen. link, that is.

tomorrow i get to hang out with puff. that will be amusing.

that, sadly, is all.

love and schnickerdoodles.

tonight is some schtein-fun, and afterwards, hopefully, friend-fun.

andrew got me a bunny. it was fun.

you know what else is fun? saying a word until it sounds strange.

my dad made wafflies this morning. we ate them funly.

my sister and i were going to have fun shopping at the mall this morning, but i took a fun shower and lost track of time. hence, i am here.

it was not fun last night when i thought i unhinged my rotator cuff.

(i told you this was fun.)

my sister met a cute boy, mario. i had fun asking her if he had a younger brother named luigi.

my mom is having fun making cookies.

my kitty is having fun sleeping.

i am having fun being a loser.

now i am going to have fun concluding:
adios.

i suppose it does.

now on to other matters.

i just finished the engineering exam. i may have even passed. next is earth and space science, and then im done for the semester. jump-click.

my mom got the tickets last night, so that maybe is now a definately.

to completely change the subject, andrews screen saver says "biren is now a member of a terrorist cell!!" with two exclamation marks. just like that.

i heart the weather.

now that i am fulfilled, i shall leave.

adieu.

just seeing if this works.

mins is currently eating christmas presents.

so, whats up with it being cold? i thought this didnt happen.

my mom and i went out to lunch today, where the guy sitting next to us hit his head on the large, heavy, copper lamp-thing. i tried to hide my laughter, but he saw me. "its alright. you can laugh in front of me. just because youre in math club doesnt mean it wont happen to you."

we pondered the true purpose of leaf-blowers on the way home.

no, i will not take any comments on the above statement.

i heard tell of mr schutz laughing until his face turned red. i miss all the fun stuff. like that time in eighth grade when mr michaels fell out of his chair. or the time when my sister fell on an escalator.

ha.

exams are almost over. i have two tomorrow, but only one counts. for hell.

and dream totally dyed her hair. the metamorphasis is complete.

im going to erie on january seventeenth. maybe. but im definately going to arizona for spring break. can we say, "rock?"

"rock."

those are the lame proceedings of my day.

peace and cheesecakes.

today was a wonderful, beautiful, funny day. just why, i am not sure, but trust me: it was.

though i did wish nolte would have turned around and shot me in the middle of the english exam.

i exchanged my big shoes for ones that fit, bought my final christmas presents, and got myself some dough at el banco (not in that order, of course).

at 5:00, im going to go meet lilly. i guess its a good thing i wasnt shot.

tengo mi examen del espanol manana. estudio.

so i definately got an "a" on the analysis exam. all that not concentrating finally paid off. tomorrow its history and english, followed by a trip to see one beautiful baby.

we watched finding nemo in spanish in english with spanish subtitles (figure it out.).

so truly, she came pushing sixteen horses.

my kitty has pms. crushed midol? shell never know.

dana gave me a very round polar bear and some very green socks. upon seeing the socks, i questioned her.
"dana...?"
"arent they ugly? i saw them and thought of you."

mrs. angert on hussein: "even hitler had the good sense to commit suicide."

"why did picasso live in paris?"
"was he a prostitute or something?"

"it has a fruit juice center?" (i found it funny.)

anywho, time for the doodle to study.

-slash-not.

tomorrow marks the end of anal funkiness for the rest of 2003. and who isnt busy preparing? you know who.

i switched my hours with kathy this saturday, so i may get to have fun.

im going to a football game on new years day with my family and friends. in case you were wondering.

i actually almost fell asleep in class today. three times. youre looking at the epitome of success.

so, chastity. interesting subject. talked all about it at youth group last night. then came to school to see phallic candles. morality? what?

oh crap because the parents are home.

insert lame ending here.

oh.

this is me, studying for exams.

so, hi. we got a christmas tree yesterday morning. i have absolutely no idea where it is.

i painted my finger nails after church. magenta. im feeling crazy.

dear mrs. angert,
this whole idea of giving us a test the day before exams start is quite cruel. dont do it again.
love, maggie

i feel like a hick. im wearing a blouse and overalls. the boys are after me.

i wish i was a little more interesting, but im not.

this is where i stop.

si, no tenemos bananas. no tenemos bananas hoy.

today was confusing, mainly because i had no idea what day of the week it was. once i figured it out, i was happy.

do you ever do that, except also forget what month it is, the current year, and all of your current social relations? yeah. that also happened. it was pretty cool this time.

ill bet you want to come to steinmart tonight. ill bet you do.

just like ill bet it was funny when mrs. angert told us about how dead people would sit up in their coffins.

so, junior year is just one week shy of being half complete. whos ready for the remaining year and a half to end? this girl right here.

i could have been sleeping this whole time.

dear self,
youre an idiot.
love, self.

im out like high tops.

today was pretty pretty, to say the least.

my grades will survive. schutz failed to fail me.

fudgecow and i made fun of each other in english. i love pardos class.

we actually worked in biology, and i got a christmas card from alex. it was glittery and brightened my day.

i answered a pop-question (en espanol) after my stunningly well-memorized performance of the life and times of sandra cisneros, a stunningly ill-learned woman.

later, when tutoring loren in spanish, she said to me in the most confident tone, "su jardin somos bonito." your garden we are beautiful. im glad i spend an hour a week trying.

i talked, i listened to country music, and i thought.

its nice when you have time to think.

considering the fact that nothing particularly interesting happened today, ill end my update here.

its raining. im not sure how long its been coming down, but the sun was not shining when i went to school today.

la cuenta de mi vida.

i tried to have sex with dream this morning, but she had already done it with five other people. in the middle of class. dream is one very literate 'ho.

i laughed with the girl in front of me in spanish class about spanish class and the fact that spanish class is really no class at all. spanish class, spanish class, spanish class. have i said it enough times yet?

reports show that im going to die before the semester is over. thanks, exams. i love you.

thats all.

spanish class.

attention: lauras boss will not fire her because she believes laura to be mentally retarded.

oh, little fudgecow.

also, i have been informed that jim fell in the grass today.

he was probably told to sniff it.

theres a chance ill get to visit tegan and beautiful, beautiful lilly tomorrow. that makes me happy.

granted, i have to mull through an analysis quiz and a spanish presentation first, along with all the other trimmings of a nausiatingly routine high-school day.

i wore the ambiguous socks today. ambiguous, because... well... whats on them? the world may never know, no matter how many tootsie pops are licked.

dear window:
i like it when youre closed. momdar will catch me if a shut you, though.
just a complaint.
love, maggie

if youre looking for a good time, i suggest you try steinmart this friday and saturday evening. were open extra late for steinie fun. come on by and check out the ... fun.

das all my ~*KrAzYnEsS*~ 4 2nite!!! i luv u!!!

ByEz!!!

heres to a complete lack of organization:

my father is spraying clorox and waving my mothers cell phone through the mist.

i keep saying stupid things when going over what im going to say for my ebay presentation. i think ill end with "i have to pee. bye."

i love it when i forget a persons birthday. it makes me feel like a great friend ("oh, maggie. i love you. ...so simple.").

im out.

my parents made up new words to the "fun factory" song. more on this later.

according to andrew, hogan kills.

when your skin is peeling, i advise that you not rip it.

so this is me, updating you on my interesting life.

...

i took the sat this morning. it was freezing. and someone dropped a calculator. it was very funny at the time.

then i came home, ate some cottage cheese with holiday goldfish, and went to work for ever, where i was estimated to be 21.

then my stockings ripped, and i bought some with a hole in them.

"arent we closed?"
"nope. were open until 9:30, and next week, were open until 10:00."
"are you kidding me?"
"nope. happy holidays."

with that, im dead. im out. goodnight.

the winter concert was good, i hear. i only stayed for the first 45 minutes. then i saw it again today for free. dreams tricky like that.

people are funny. if you stop thinking about your own worries and concerns, youll realize that those around you are bloody hilarious.

for example:
lauras mom: "i love you."
laura: "oh."

and:
james: "office 602 was horrible."

and:
"i cant see over your head."
"so grow."

also, lilly nichole blay is absolutely beautiful. congratulations, tegan and dustin!

wish me luck on the sat tomorrow.

im out.

ebay, why do not you sell the red rider accessories past tomorrow? why?

the timed writing in english sucked. majorly. but who cares? its not like weve been given only two grades this term.

wait a minute. yes it is.

so i am not looking forward to doing my presentation. why not? becuase chuck did really good. and he went first. out of everyone.

bridget fell up three stairs today. i love bridget.

i do not love the automatic aligning microsoft word entitles me to.

frustration!

so anywho, i need out. sorry this one sucked so much.

today is yet another new day in a new day continuum.

my mother started to laugh during dinner while amy grant could be heard in the background, demanding that santa bring her some toys.

its just been that kind of day: funny because it isnt funny.

like when i went to first period and got excited because there was an awards ceremony, but quickly came to find that it was only for seniors.

or like when i met my student after school and thought he had actually studied, but only came to discover that he picked his nose all weekend.

or like when i came home and started thinking about how much i hate school.

wait a minute. thats not funny at all.

not to complain or anything.

we learned about ambiguous triangles or solutions or something of that nature today. all i could think of was the ambiguously gay duo.

that about sums it up.

sha la la la la la la la la la la ti da.
la ti da.

friends, today is a new day. i said what i had to say and did what i had to do; i begged where there was no mercy and i pleaded with stone walls. i got some things thrown in my face for it (both figuratively and literally), and i doubt that any of it will clear up any time soon, but would you guess it? i dont really care. i was honest, and i dont think a price can be placed on the hard things you have to do in life.

i took one of the longest routes home today after school. i had the windows down and my hair up. the sun shone in distinguishable streaks upon the cracked roads like it really wanted to be a comfort, and the wind blew in upon me like it really wanted to be december.

i spent a lot of time today thinking about how life was before i started to grow up; that is, before it really began.

i was living in an illusion for the first fifteen years of my life, and i cant say that everything has been revealed to me even yet, because there is still so much i dont know. the only difference between today and december first of last year is that in 2002, i thought i had found forever in someone who couldnt hold on to virtue even if it superglued itself to the palms of his hands.

really, it was all stupidity on my part, mixed with a heavy dosage of infatuation and a few heaping tablespoons of the need to live in harmony with what i thought should have been.

his part? couldnt say why he stuck with it for so long.

so to clarify:
1. robert (the forbidden one) and i will never happen again. it was an "us" that is now a "once."
2. i refuse to date or think about dating anyone. in my strange, hateful mind, boys are the poison of the earth.
3. friends are the only ones who can hear you through and say what you want them to say, even though most of the time it might not be true, untying your shoes while telling you sweet little lies to make you feel better.
4. God can also help. in fact, He probably helps more than friends, but i think anyone who has been in touch with Him would expect that.
5. i. despise. mark. twain.

this should explain any and all of my mood swings. for everything else that the aforementioned statements do not account for, i shall allow the blame to fall on my gender for its reputation of complexity and impracticality.

and though you didnt want to know, i told you.

isnt life peachy?

for all those who i have been bitchy to: sorry. i didnt mean to. unless your name is dianne. then i did mean to be a bitch.

i will keep you updated on the positives once again. the rest i have decided not so much to put behind me, but to keep afloat on the surface so that i can avoid stupid mistakes.

well, not all stupid mistakes. im entitled to a eyeful, and ive still got some good ones left to go.

also, if you sign up for anything that requires the use of your mothers credit card, debit card, or checking account information, be prepared to be brutally murdered, as it is quite easy to register but impossible to remove yourself from the records.

the sun is shining bright and happy, and its freezing. its cool that the seasons are changing, and now its almost not-summer.

in case any of you were wondering, i. hate. school. i mean, come on, academics. take her easy, now.

granted, my sitting here typing will not get my homework done.

meh.

im taking the sat next saturday morning. hopefully ill be able to find king. thats what you get for signing up on the last possible date. as kj says, procrastinate now (though if you think about it, that statement doesnt really make sense.).

as i write this, the peter pan kids are learning me about frosty the snowman. truly, i do believe he was a jolly, happy soul. they also state that they love snow. see? "i LOVE snow. i LOOOOOVE snow. la, da, daaaaa. i love iiiiit sooooo."

jim rapped today. here are his prophetical words of wisdom:
"my name is jim, i like to rap//among other thing cause i also like to eat...not crap//i like to eat yoyoyo//i eat things on the go//don't give me no talk 'bout cholesteral//i like bar-b-qued chicken the best of all//end"

thats all for today. adios.

today (still in saturday mode) was nothing special. something FREEZING, but nothing special.

unless having the longest hangnail in the history of the world counts.

i have to present my engineering project next week. im not concerned. the last time i didnt worry about a project, i got myself an a+, so im hoping that will work again.

then again, i hoped it would rain noodles today. no such luck.

probably the uncoolest thing ever is realizing that you will never again work in the morning on a saturday as long as you live. no joke, my friends. i have missed work every other week (or was graciously rescheduled for an evening shift) for over a month now, so that i am stuck forever on the 2 - 9:30 plan. thank you, terri. i love how i have no idea where you were imported from.

a new place opened up recently. let me show you what i left on the table this afternoon:

dear firehouse subs:
yum.
not.
love, maggie.

then i thought about things and realized i missed my sister, so i wrote her a love note:

dear erin:
ill cut you.
love, maggie.

so that was my day. i leave you with a word of advice: if you dont want your opponent to guess your word for hangman, i suggest using "gastropoda." i didnt get it even after all the letters were filled in.

this is idiot, signing out.

nine minutes to update, and then im off to work.

today, i followed in the pursuit of many americans and, well, shopped. the only people i have left to buy presents for are alicia and my mom. horray for organization.

the day was absolutely wonderful up until it began to rain. then it became perfect. tomorrow its supposed to actually feel like late november, so im pretty excited about that (you can tell my social activities have been lacking when i think about the weather.).

my friends, the advantage of having a four-item christmas list is getting all four items.

surprisingly, last night i watched the whole of the second lord of the rings movie. i. love. link.

it hasnt been quite nine minutes, but im out of things to say.

war and ricecakes.

the sun is shining so bright and cozy today. im feeling a lot better about things.

i have decided that this thanksgiving, i am the most thankful for God in my life, my friends, and my family. im thankful for God because He has blessed me infinitely and given me His love; for my friends for helping me through the hard times, even though they knew nothing (or close to nothing) of my situation (real friends will support you when they dont even know anything is wrong.); and my family because my sister holds my hand during the Our Father, my dad calls me "pie," and my mom can compare my massive bruise to spilled grape jelly without my getting pissed off.

i feel an incredible sense of belonging when i am with the aforementioned people-slash-being.

thanks to everyone who reads this for putting up with my bovine feces. i love you guys, and i mean it more than i mean pi is 3.14.

speaking of which, call me if you want some. pie, that is. three is far too much for a family of five.

i hope everyone has a wonderful day, and i hope its just as sunny at your house as it is at mine.

the pity party is over.

my sister comes home tonight.

new pity party.

just kidding.

somewhat.

anywho, the weather outside is absolutely delightful. yesterday it was gray and misty all day. i hearted it with all my heart. today it is sunny, and i have yet to step outside. hopefully the cool air is still hanging around.

dream is funny.

are there any lyrics to "louie, louie?"

probably the funnest thing in the world is dusting.

i get to go to the movies today with puff, so im pretty excited.

however, im also pretty stinky, so i need to shower.

until next time, adieu.

"to everything there is a season,
and ours has come and gone."

you are not who i thought you were. youre just like everyone else. i cant believe i was so blind to it, and now im only numb from it.

"nothing matters anymore,
and i cant wish anymore."

its not that i feel as empty as i did before. i just feel... well... left out. but im alright with that; ill be ok.

"call 911. im already dead, but someone should be held responsible for this -
this bloody mess."

its like a volcano was lying dormant inside of me for the first sixteen years of my life. but now it has erupted, and with it every degree of hopelessness has poured forth. i feel like a memory to you.

"...and the way you look tonight."

but i wont forget it. not a single moment of it. not the car rides or the car shows, not the smiles or the calls, not the ice or the fire, not the laughter or the tears, not the growing up or the growing away.

"in case youre wondering,
this songs about growing up."

so heres to all the stars that laughed and all the stars that cried. heres to the willows and the winds and the headlights. heres to kisses and bubble gum and youth.

in other words, heres to you.

(laugh. it couldnt possibly make things worse, and it should seem funny to you.)

top story of the day: doodle fell down the stairs. it was actually more like plunged down the stairs. either way, i have a huge welt on my leg to remind me of that happy little incident. even if i didnt, dana would be sure to keep the story alive.

it was right after school, so there were a lot of other students walking down the stairs. i lost my footing, thought "im going to fall now," and proceeded to fall. except i didnt stop there. i continued to tumble down five more stairs (yes, it hurt.). when about half of the falling was over with, i saw a black umbrella shoot past me and fall to the landing below. when the stairs ended, i found myself sprawled with my backpack on my side and my folders, miraculously, still in my hands. a girl came up to me (while dana choked on her laughter), picked up her purse (the "umbrella," which dana, afterwards, told me i threw.), and asked if i was ok.

man, i was laughing too hard to answer her.

so thats my funniness for the day.

i had no idea it was friday until someone told me that it was. this happened in homeroom. the rest of my day was pretty dern good after that.

also, amber equals rock. she was the best little pocahantas ive ever seen. she can kick disneys bottom any day.

andrew suggested using a cat for my led case. i suggested otherwise.

speaking of cats, mine is doing that really cute thing cats do when they clean their faces. she went to put her front leg on the back of her head and accidentally got her ear stuck inside-out. silly mins.

and now that im out of intersting things to say, i shall leave you with a quote from the skunk and the beaver:

"ive been around the world and im goin' again."
"hambone."

have you ever said something, and immediately after you said it you wished you could pull the words out of the air and swallow them whole? i have. not today though.

the weather is royally kicking.

and i am totally going to be late to ambers debut if i dont hustle my arse.

adios.

ive got ten minutes to fill you in on a very uneventful day, so here i go:

fbi agents are very loud and i never want to be an engineer. ever.

i sold all of my candy.

all of my friends are gorgeous.

amasmete means nothing in spanish. absolutely nothing.

and those are the lame proceedings of my day.

much love and stuff.

seventy points for dream for not coming to school on a schutz-quiz day. that ought to put her ahead of everyone in the world.

bit of irony for the day: dana got her class ring, and kim lost her opal one. guitar for dana. sucks for kim.

my camera is lost forever. i am now left with jessica helms homecoming pictures. at least i still have the shot of matt hanging with john paul.
"ask the pope a question."
"pope, will we ever get back to the hotel?"
[shake.]
"pope says, 'ask again later.'"

carrots, handbags, cheese.

makeup work is totally the worst idea ever.

so i gave in and im going to tutor kid number one again next week. but i swear, if he doesnt know his "nunca" and "ser" and "estudiar" and "con" by next week, nunca seria estudiar con se.

pat from the american veterans association called. she will call back later.

i wore my shirt from bismarck today, but only my "throw me at a fur-wearer" sticker was noticed. i wonder why.

they say that jelly bracelts equal sex. ive got to hand it to them: middle schoolers are a lot more promiscuous now than when i wandered among them.

by the way, this is me doing my homework.

they also say they bought me christmas presents. interesting, considering i have expressed an interest in nothing. im thinking calendar. definately a calendar.

so now that weve discussed a lot, im out.

in the words of general jihad, peace and cheesecakes.

quiz fun in analysis of functions tomorrow. guess who should be studying right now?

so ncyc was a kaboom. my friends wrote me notes in my absence, which i thought was schpiffy. i traded like a madwoman, and now im two shirts the richer. also, everyone is from minnesota - everyone in the world.

mr. schutz almost wasnt at school today, but then he was.

i just printed my homework on the stationary my dad uses for sending letters to his mamacita. mr. mccoole may appreciate autumn leaves. then again, he may not. im betting on the latter.

second time ive seen the word "latter" today.

clap your hands if youre tired.

my undone homework is burning a hole in my backpack. id be tempted to let that happen, were it not sitting on my bed.

"and ill hang around as long as you will let me,
and i never minded standin' in the rain.
you dont have to call me darlin', darlin';
you never even call me by name."

dear all of my suffering friends:
apathy is a wonderful alternative. and my sister is a big 'mo.
love, maggie

tomorrow i am leaving for texas. whos excited? this girl right here. i was sent away from school this afternoon with "bye, maggie. have fun learning about the Lord!"

i went jihad on my english project today. i didnt use even one "like" while presenting. it. was. awesome.

the weather today was spectacular.

i almost died laughing when the neighbors ran into their concrete mailbox yesterday. instead of going on with life, the guy went inside to get out his son/cousin/father/uncle/sister to think about what happened. they stood in the driveway for ten minutes contemplating it before the world began to revolve again.

check it out: i got a postcard today for a cow down ("no cows. just fun!"). chicken sandwiches will be provided by chick-fil-a, in case you were concerned.

and now the time has come for me to leave you for a few days.
to dream: endure! jihad!
to andrew: i will find the place where olsen was shot at and bring it back with me.
to erin: dont say "faggot" until i come back.
to whoever else still reads this: you still owe me five bucks.

adieu.

"i woke up today with a cupful of sunshine on my nightstand and a hope in my heart.
it was the first time in a long time.
it was heaven."

for all of my friends who are suffering, the sun will shine again. i promise, or you get the nevsimal refund, only its the kennedy refund because i am no nevsimal.

i love you, funny bunny!

and for all those who royally suck:

thank you for making me cry.

i hate you.

you know who you are.

and to all of my friends:

thank you for putting up with me. i know im moody and i know i suck. thanks for not ditching me. i love you.

well, most of you.

so this past week was filled with studying, studying, and studying. when i wasnt studying, i was busy studying. needless to say, i didnt get a chance to update you on my trivial joys, triumphs, hardships, and woes. i would like to take this opportunity to fill you in on the highlights of the previous week (in no particular order):

friday:
retaking the analysis of functions test was an incredibly wonderful idea.

tuesday:
"we should have a free day."
"free day? free week."
"i concur."

tuesday:
"mrs. pardo, i dont understand: review and asses...?"
"review and assess."

sometime a few months before last week:
"do you have any broaches?"
"broaches? im afraid im not sure what a broach is, maam."
"HA, HA, HA, HA, H- a pin."

saturday:
"hey, barbie. plans have changed. would you like to go to hell?"

sometime that was neither this week nor last:
jim to ricky, on why ricky should not try to pull jims "hey, you have something on your shirt. hyoooo!" stunt: "no, ricky! dont do it! shell bite you!"
me: "[bite, bite.]"
ricky: "hey. thats kind of sexy."
me: "[shuts mouth. forever.]"

another from sometime that was neither this week nor last:
graham: "hey, phil!"
phil: "."
graham: "oh. youre probably counting, arent you?"
phil: "."
graham: "ill bet youll get in trouble if you talk, because then youll mess up the beat and be screwed."
phil: "."
graham: "so basically, i could say anything i want and you cant do a thing about it."
phil: "."
sweeney: "were gonna go sit down."
graham: "bye, phil."

today:
"are you busy tomorrow?"
"no. do you want to do something?"
"yeah. i was thinking we could have lunch or brunch. something with an 'unch' in it."

wednesday:
"why are you going to hooston, doodle?"

and this concludes our broadcast day.

ps: ncyc esta mi amor.

the people across the street are moving. i hope they dont forget to pack their common sense. of which they have none.

tutoree number one was a failure. im about to quit him. why waste your time on someone who wont even study? boy, i tell you...

today is my parents twenty-fourth anniversary. aaw.

check it: luis is trying to be nice to me. pitiful, isnt it?

but on the subject of homecoming, wooooooooooooooooo-ee! i had me a rootin', tootin', rowdy good time, chuckleberry! i danced my pants off, which really isnt much of a surprise, considering i went sans pants.

dana wound up in a poo hole and showed up around 5:45. to make things peachier, our reservations were lost in the bowels of el beppo. dana was about to rip someone a second butthole, but then her mom biotched at the hostess (long story on why she was there) (not really. i just wanted to say that because i thought it would be less typing because these nails are driving me crazy. of course, i couldve typed the story ten times over by now, but thats not the point.) (...of which i have none.) and we were seated pronto. next to five empty tables. that we couldve been sitting in thirty minutes earlier.

at the dance, i, well, danced. i stepped in some wettness and some stickiness, but no matter - a good time was had by all. everyone got a kick out of jims crazy gyrations ("jims gyrations" sounds like some kind of burrito shack in the middle of nowhere, texas.).

afterwards, we got drunk and drove all around town. i even whored myself on nebraska (pictures to be posted at a later date.).

or we went to ihop and i ordered a smiley face pancake. yum.

yesterday, i went to the mall with alicia. we saw runaway jury. i figured out the plot without looking it up online.

today was meh, then yay, then blah, then major blah, then blah to the millionth power, then yay to the billionth power. got that?

dream licked her elbow again today. i love dream.

and now i must go for fear of being beheaded. adieu.

tonight is the homecoming dance. whos excited? this girl right here.

im going to pick up jims flower (lets just call it a bout for short, mainly because i cant spell the whole word.) as soon as my dad gets back.

at 2:30, im getting a pretty little updo. this my mother will oversee.

jim will be here by 5:00, and around 5:15 dana will arrive. well take some pictures before the sun goes down, and then hang out here until about 6:00. then its off to buca for a 6:30 dinner reservation. that gets us to the dance around 8:30, which is as close to fashionably late as i will ever come.

i shall then procede to have fun and forget all about my camera until five minutes before midnight, a time at which i shall demand that my friends pose as i maniacally finish two rolls of film.

if all goes right, paul simon, we will not make a new plan, stan.

my dad is here, so im out. adieu.

(amber: no.)

ghs: -270
hhs: 5,002
and this concludes our broadcast day.

i got my nails did with dana yesterday for two hours. needless to say, i was in a bit of trouble when i got home.

then i went to the pep rally. the spartain cheerleaders rock my world.

tonight is the homecoming game. woo for gaithers losing streak.

my led blinked twice and then stopped. forever. i guess thats what you get for laughing in second grade when your friend fell and hit the fireplace, fracturing her wrist and facing the possibility of having an eight-year-old-sized hand for the rest of her life.

but anyways, all we did was have "tea poe"s today. it was very, very nice.

well, except in ap biology, in which we made onion shakes. mmm.

and for all those who were still confused, i do not have a hickey.

because it is very difficult for me to type with real, live nails, im out.

para todos: if you drink and drive this weekend and die in a car accident, ill kill you.

funny of the day:
"sit down! sit down! im going to hemmorage! sit down!"

funny of the other day:
"you should call them and be like, 'hey...' ... ..."
"...?"
"..."

best line of the day:
"i guess im just a product of serendipity here for your convienience and/or enjoyment."

best thing i said that made someone laugh from the other day (ago):
"thats me in a semi-permeable membrane."

strangest dream from last night:
i cut jims hair.

and finally, song of the day:
"always leaving" by cowboy mouth.

and if that doesnt describe the past however many hours, i dont know what does.

but still, i cannot stop typing.

type, type, type.

type, type, typin' away. type, type, typin' away.

i typed your mom last night.

i caught your sister typing.

hey, big boy. wanna type?

man! i cant believe i typed that!

uhmagosh. my hair is so...

im done. goodbye.

i looked out my window and it looked to me like rain
with those big liquid eyes and that promise of gray pain.

and i wanted you so much,
just like i do right now.
i wanted us to be the ones the poets write their books about.
i wanted it to last.
i wanted to grow old,
but we got in the way.

someday when im awfully low -
when the world is cold,
i will feel a glow just thinking of you
and the way i cant look at you tonight.

perfect strangers when we meet,
lovers on the street.

so dizzy that when i get out,
i just run right back in.

but, when the days hustle and bustle is done,
the gumby cats work has but only begun.

and now that im done rewording lyrics, i should like to mention that it took me an hour to fill out the sat registration form.

for the millionth time,
marvin k mooney, will you please go now!

si no puede ser quien quiere ser, no mienta.

its official. my coworkers are gay.

and im not even talking about teresa.

you know, i would like maya angeleausdfakdf's first biography a little more if she would end it. that would be delightful.

im working today at two, so that leaves time for zip on the social calendar.

speaking of work, a customer farted last night. i about peed my pants (if you couldnt tell, im very immature.).

my kitties lost weight. still...

now that ive covered everything i wanted to say, im out.

and for my fellow classmates: you can do the history homework for me if you want to.

the biology test was awesome. i totally made a "c." that rocked.

my sister is home for the weekend. oh, joy!

really. im serious. i like my sister.

most of the time.

tonight i have to work. thats about all i can say about that.

im actually making progress on my biography for english. interesting, no?

there are things from the funeral all around my house. do you have any idea how crazy it is making me? ill give you a hint: the answer is "very."

its good to be able to talk to people, especially when youre trying to discover some great metaphor when youre having a very hard time concentrating. the final decision: used cigarette next to a puddle of oil equals the burning of and a stain on ones past. ill probably write a story about it this weekend and put it on my sipp (site in perpetual progress).

i walked past mr. os hallway today. his homeroom entered the door decorating contest. everyone deserves at least one genuine surprise per day.

i have written to my hearts content.

the inductions went very well. very well, indeed.

on the subject of "indeed," phil totally held my hand today.
"how are you?" referring to my failing two major tests/assignments today, which never, NEVER happens.
"im alright. what about you?"
"im doing pretty good." ... "you know, its really nice to have someone to care about." he seizes my hand, and who am i to tell him to let go? not that i would if i could have thought of anything to say.

today was also the one day i didnt see dana after school. i know she wasnt around because i was not hit with a large book.

biren: "you got cable internet or dsl?"
me: "um. roadrunner."
biren: "ah. i wish i had it. i would download so many movies and shit."
me: "tell me: how do you download shit?"
biren: "with my dial up."

anywho, thats the extent of my day.

for my loyal readers, thank you for your continued support.

can you say, "horray for maggie for not only finishing her led thing, but for making it function properly, as well!"?

today was awesome. totally awesome. i went to school, failed my analysis test, beared sitting through another speech by the entusiast, nearly killed myself because thomas jefferson had to write the declaration of independence, verbally answered a multiple choice question with an answer that wasnt a choice, got caught not paying attention in spanish, and, finally, laughed until i cried (thought my pants would never dry) at the end of the day when the kid next to the girl behind me turned inside out the backpack of the girl next to me.

really, it wasnt a bad day. i just like to exaggerate and make things seem worse than they really are.

in fact, today wasnt bad at all.

phil said his parents liked me. he followed up that statement with: "they said the same thing everyone else says when they see you: 'she likes you?'" tee, hee hee.

tonight i am being inducted into beta. im really excited. mainly because i get to wear those new clothes i was telling you about earlier. hopefully i wont fall flat on my face when going to receive my certificate, or, worse, catch myself on fire during the candlie part.

mr. murray is having the biology test on friday, which totally rocks.

since i have no homework, and since im kind of dirtry from washing my car, im going to go shower. adeiu.

today was very different, to say the least.

the psat wasnt very hard. of course, that means i probably shouldve left more blank, but its too late for regrets now.

the remaining three class periods were a piece of mincemeat pie.

oh, wait. no they werent. i soddered everything in the wrong place in engineering. and that really sucked.

fortunately, my tutoree had been studying, so i didnt have to want to serve him bleach.

i came home and hated mrs. angert all through the chapter seven study guide, which i will not study from.

then i went to the orchestra concert. um, ghs: you rock my world.

its definately been too long since ive had to meet a guys parents. what not to do: fiddle. what i did: fiddle.

to lighten the mood which has not been darkened in any way, shape, or form, here is an excerpt from todays fifth period:
student: "you were looking at me like im dumb. why you look at me like im stupid?"
mrs. ribas: "no... i dont know..."

and now it is time for me to sleep and not worry about not finishing that led in engineering tomorrow.

well, that didnt work.

i saw rafael bellini today at kash 'n karry. i was wearing my chicken vagina shirt, as i am whenever i see someone i havent seen in a long time.

speaking of rafael, i wonder if raffi did really love to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas.

speaking of bananas, my mom is making banana bread.

speaking of banana bread, i bought an outfit for beta inductions. im rather pleased. except my mom bought it; i didnt.

then i thought i saw dana with a mysterious character. i screamed, "dana!" and not-dana turned around. i played it off, though; i was cool. not cool as a cucumber,
because cucumbers arent very cool. so i guess im more like a cucumber than i originally thought. thats something to think about. for a total of three seconds.

now that ive said all ive wanted to say, im out.

i met a cat volunteer today. your guess is as good as mine.

and then i went a little crazy tonight.

and then i let it all out and cried a lot.

except that last part about crying. that didnt happen.

but i did almost hit a squirrel.

and now i would very much like to not be me.

i went shopping for jewelry for FOUR HOURS and only came up with thirty-five dollars worth of maybies for homecoming. the process, however, was most delightful.

then i went to work. do you have any idea how much christmas merchandise we have? ill give you a hint: the answer begins with "a" and ends in "lot."

now im just having a blast making an idiot out of myself.

i love dream!

goodnight.

and now for the daily equation: today = perfect.

first bit of juicy deliciousness: grades.
i believe the doodle has done it once again (and probably for the final time this year). the great guru of academics, the goddess of studying, the queen of class averages... is nowhere to be found. however, i did make straight "a"s. wee!

second morsel of tender happiness: guys.
i havent exactly been giddy these past few months, but today was hands-down skip-worthy: phil wants to go on a date with me. me. did you hear that? someone wants to date me. someone named phil. am i happy? youre darned tootin'.

third bit of oozing newness: choking.
there seems to be a hazelnut caught in my throat.

fourth piece of glee pie: the great outdoors.
the weather is absolutely perfect. beautiful. stupendous. orgasmic, almost. its about 70 degrees with a nice wind blowing. the sun is shining down softly, and all the windows in the house are open to welcome in the new season: almost not-summer.

fifth crumb of jump-clickiness: friends.
dana is an awesome friend. she listens to all of my "drama," if you will, and doesnt tell me to shut up, but rather encourages me while still somehow making me laugh.
also, i got a sign from dream today. i do realize just how little sense the whole tradition of sign-making makes, but i absolutely heart getting them.

sixth slice of giddy cake: family.
i got home today, and my dad was here. not only that, but the house smelled good. no, i did not mean to imply that the house normally smells bad when he is home.

seventh ember of scoldering yayness: homework situation.
frankly, there is not homework situation, because there is no homework.

i think that covers just about everything wonderful from today. the bad truly wasnt that bad, and the weather is so nice that i can hardly remember why i found any part of the day to be upsetting.

this is doodle, signing off.

happy things for the day:
1. many said i looked cute today.
2. i got back my history test and scored a lot higher than i had anticipated.
3. i made up two other tests, which werent very challenging.
4. somebody cute finally asked me for my number.
5. i didnt die in biology.
6. my lunch was packed in an airplane barf bag.

unhappy things for the day:
1. i almost fell down the stairs today, and by almost, i mean my books had already begun to fly. and by unhappy, i mean it was the funniest thing that happened all day.
2. mrs. angert gave me a nasty look. again. and yes, it is a conspiracy.
3. luis doesnt know when to shut up, and i really, really, REALLY dislike him today.
4. i wish i died in biology.

while hugging someone:
someone: "you know, this is my favorite part of the day."

excerpt from a very unfunny last week:
sob, sob, sob.
sob, sob, sob.
"the jesus looks like a tarantula."
sob, laugh, sob.

you knock me off of my feet, now, baby! woo!
go on, girl! ow!... ow!
hey, pretty baby with the high heels on,
you give me fever like ive never, ever known!
youre just the product of lovliness(uh!).
i like the (something) of your walk, (uh)your talk, your dress(uh!)!
i feel your fever from miles around (hic!)
ill pick you up in my car and well paint this town (hic!).
just kissame baby and tell me twice (uh)
that youre the one(uh) for me!

oh, michael jackson, how no one idolizes you for who you are.

well, it is time for me to go. mainly because im typing lyrics and giving you incomplete thoughts.

and also because im a raging lunatic.

doodle con arroz.

when you walk into the bathroom at one am and see a large cat in the sink, its funny.

well, its safe to say that the early part of this week sucked. to save you from having to hear about it, i wont talk about it.

quite on the contrary, the latter part of this week has not sucked. heres what you get for having the best friends in the world:
someone to help you figure out how to get from point a to point b in an airport (yes, im really that simple.).
someone to help you flag down your ride home from the airport.
someone to miss you.
someone to tell you they missed you.
someone to be very delightfully surprised to see that youre home early.
someone to hug you to let you know they care.
someone to say, "I LOVE YOU, MAGGIE!" first thing in third period.
someone to help you catch up.
someone to be very patient.
someone who does not emote on a normal basis to show sympathy towards you.
someone you don't even know to let you know you were missed (twice. i know.).
someone to comfort you.
someone to care.
someone to walk you to your car.
someone to surprise you.
someone to make you giggle.
someone to distract you from studying (yes. good friends do it.).
someone to say something funny enough to make you snort.
someone to do the macarena while saying the name of someone wonderful in place of the real words, which no one understands anywho.
someone to tell you youre cool.
someone to laugh at you (hey. we all need it.).

"his name is nick lardino, but i call him nick large dinosouar."

"do you smell that?"
"smell what?"
"are you serious? you really cant smell that?"
"yeah. why? what is it?"
"i smell like pig shit."

"roses are red,
violets are blue.
youre sitting on my gum,
so give me some of yours."

and thats all the funny i can remember from yesterday and today.

well...

yeah. thats it.

so without further adeiu, i leave you.

God told me to grow up;
I told myself to fear.

today was uber cool, minus the first eighteen hours.

after work, i met up with some friends at malibu. the evening was full of fun and antics, as the following excerpt displays (seriously just spent five minutes trying to think of the word "displays," and andrew found it before i did.):
rachel (to kurt): "is it wrong that im singing tenor and youre singing soprano?"

i saw the cutest little old lady on my lunch break today (no, i did not see her in the breakroom.). i thought she was waiting for her husband to come back to the table, so i didnt want to be weird and talk to her when she was about to leave. she made a little bit of small-talk with me, so i didnt say much. then she left, without a husband (or a wife). i felt bad for not talking to her, because i didnt have anything else to do either. so that was my bit of daily saddness.

another bit of saddness: coming home, im not sure if i passed a rug or a dead poodle.

also, dream visited me at work today, but not on purpose. still, that made me happy.

and for all those who were wondering, there is a large purple bruise on my right knee as a result of hitting it on the bookshelf hard enough to knock the lamp over, and thanks to my not knowing how to walk, there is another, smaller indication of my clumsiness on my left shin.

andrew is a very impatient person.

thats all for today.

in the words of rocky, goodnightway!

but on the other hand, i was indirectly asked out today.

does not that rock?

wonderful someone minus wonderful equals a whole stadiumful of confusion.

because i felt like complaining yesterday, i forgot to give you my funny thing for the day:
mrs. ribas when we are going over our spanish test that most people failed: "what is wrong with you!?"

and now for the funny thing for today:
zack spitolnick: "laura, the hallways are so crowded. its ridiculous."
laura fudgecow: "good luck with that."

and now for the second funny thing for today:
jewish guy in seventh period: "im going to have a band and name it jesus on the beach."

and now for the funny event of the day:
mr. nevsimal reaches between two tower-looking things set up on a table of important-looking things. a loud buzzing sound cuts through the air, an incredibly bright light bulb turns on, and a radio begins playing "midnight train to georgia."

and now for the cool event of the day:
in the dead silence of ap english, a very blue-tongued dream park turns around and licks her elbow.

and now for the depressing event of the day:
celine dion has her own cologne. it is the fragrance of stupidity.

and now for the giddy event of the day:
someone wonderful has either brought me up in conversation before or much of the school associates me with this wonderful someone.

and now for the apathetic event of the day:
i went to ap biology.

and now for the good-bye event of the day:
good-bye.

no sun for the third day in a row. armageddon?

today sucked. minus the part about scoring a 100% on the analysis test and the part about someone lovely walking me to homeroom and seventh period, the day majorly sucked. im in dire need of a hug, and dang it, i just want to complain. so here i go:

i wake up and its raining, which is perfect, but when i get near school, the line is backed up to your mom with parents driving kids to school because their daughters will melt and their sons will... get worms if they happen to stand outside when its raining.

i finally get into the junior parking lot, and what is this? all the close spaces are taken. "dang it." so i park next to the grate (once again) and make my gloomy little way into the building that is hell.

then, later, in second period, i feel like killing myself. mrs. angert, why are you so enthusiastic? why, woman? why? ive had it up to here (me pointing towards the sky) with "yay! america!" and the declaration of independence and all the false ideals on which this nation was built, such as "freedom" and "liberty." thus ends the eight o'clock hour.

in fourth period, since i have not succeeded in committing suicide two classes earlier, i resolve to down the next bottle of bleach i can find. when mr. murray turns off the lights to show us the krebs cycle on his projector, i can feel the life pouring out of me - the electron transport chain just isnt the epitome of excitement.

in fifth period, i turn in my "treats," if you will, for snhs - the whole eleven of them - and wind up receiving a grand total of one stamp. one. one of a mandatory twenty. "dang it."

post-seventh period wasnt much fun, either. i wanted to talk with one person and one person only, and, of course, i could not find that one person anywhere. "oh, well." so i go the office to turn in a service hour request, and who do i run into? one person. and who cant stay and talk? "dang it."

so i leave.

then i get home, get my checks, and leave again to go to the bank. unfortunately, i cant get any cash because im an incompetent minor, so i go home with an extra fifty in my account.

and if this isnt reason enough to complain, i dont know what is.

so now that ive ranted for however long, and now that im thoroughly annoyed with the procedings of my day, ill leave.

good riddance.

the weather was perfect again today. a day without sunshine is a day to celebrate.

ive been writing a lot more lately, but still dont seem to have a passion for it or anything else (well, maybe someone else, but thats a whole different story).

my tutoree seemed to know most of his stuff today. i taught him how to conjugate -ar verbs (i thought they had already gone over it in class. oopskies.). i hope i didnt confuse him more.

to reword a song from the lovely amy grant christmas collection, its the most wonderful time of the month (no, erin; not candy corn time.).

we read an absolutely savage story today in spanish with the same "plot," if you will, as shakespeares the taming of the shrew, except in this version, the man beheaded a dog and a horse and banged a kitty against a wall. i almost started crying.

you know what else makes me cry? plagiarism.

oh, and that song that goes, "wherever you go, whatever you do, i will be right here waiting for you...," "butterfly kisses," and "nightswimming."

but on a completely different note, it takes five class days to watch 1776, and mrs. angert (after four days of the duration) is still enthusiastic about everything.

and on that note i leave you. goodnight, reykjavik.

the weather today has been perfect. it reflects precisely the mood i have been experiencing for the past few days. sun, dont come back. ever.

so we have to read a story in spanish entitled "of the [aquaintance?] of a man that married with a lady very strong and very [stubborn?]." im totally not looking forward to translating it.

on the other hand, i still dont get anything that has been going on in math league.

actually, those last two points were on the same hand, because they both deal with difficult things. technically, though, it doesnt matter, because the metaphorical hand cannot be seen with the eye.

i am looking at a letter from my grama dated "wednesday sept. 24?"

everyone seems pretty excited about homecoming. the chicks are all, "oh! i sooooo found the prettiest dress! uhmagosh!" and the guys are all, "yeah." my date ate poo from a tube at lunch today.

i better get going on that homework.

marvin k mooney, will you please go now!

it began to rain tonight just before i headed home. combined with the lighting and every other circumstance, both external and internal, it made for the perfect movie scene.

you know who is totally not cool? your boss, dianne.
"MAGGIE!!!"
"[raised eyebrows]"
"COME OVER HERE AND HELP THIS MAN WHO IM STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO!!! ITS PART OF MY JOB DESCRIPTION TO BE AN OLD HAG AND TO SHOUT EVERYTHING, EVEN IF ITS OVER THE INTERCOM WHICH IS LOUD ENOUGH ON ITS OWN!!!"
and they wonder why i want to quit...

my sister tried to threaten me today, but her plan of attack came crashing down when she realized that her clenched fists were extended fully and still didnt reach me. oh, erin.

ok. ill admit it. the scarlet letter isnt that bad. if hawthorn would just cut some of the descriptive crap, i may even flat-out enjoy the book.

and there goes my new years resolution made nearly a year ago to stop complaining. not that it hadnt been broken previously.

i mean, come on. no whining? thats just not fair.

i put on my homecoming dress last night to model for my family. the relevance? none.

the muscles around my right eye have been twitching all afternoon. im about to go mad.

i think ill stick out the math team for another practice session. what have i got to lose? only my feeling smart.

well, the st. tims fair is calling me, so i bid you adeiu. until next time, ... something.

and now for the promised minirant on the scarlet letter:
does it end? certainly nathaniel hawthorn couldnt have been so ignorant as to believe that his oh-so-dead audience would read every single word in every single descriptive sentence which makes up almost every single paragraph in the WHOLE ENTIRE BOOK. perhaps i would be a bit more forgiving if i didnt want to commit suicide every time i turned the page to find that no, the book is not done yet, and that in fact i have two hundred more pages of living hell to suffer through before completing this long and depressing journey that is reading the scarlet letter.

moving on, i spilled oatmeal on myself four times this morning.

its pretty hard to get into a football game when youve been gallivanting around town all evening without your wallet, which contains not only your money, but your license as well. good thing i only bruised a few pedestrians.

if a kid asked you to paint a spongebob squarepants on his face because you, oh volunteer of facial art, work at the face painting booth, would you do it? if you answered in the affirmative, i dont know you, so stop reading this and get out of my life. if you answered in the negative, guitar.

my boss smells like diarrhea. no joke.

i have to make like a chip and dip, or at least think of wittier things to say every time i end these.

the day wound up being pretty darn good, considering i had tests in my two hardest classes. fortunately, though, i passed the biology test with a 99%, and i at least finished the one in engineering.

tonight im working (whats new?).

ive just realized how incredibly boring i am.

this is me, stopping, before you shoot yourself.

i love my friends and not ap biology.

so today was fun, in that "why do i suck at life?" kind of way.

i totally have a 93% in engineering, and my tutoree totally felt confident in spanish yesterday.

however, i still suck because of things like this:
someone nice: "that shirt is really pretty on you. it matches your eyes, but i like your color better."
me: "oh... ... ... ... that was a compliment, wasn't it?"

on a completely different note, people are cold.
not-someone nice: "ill bet maggie has a boyfriend..."
me: "nope."
not-someone nice: "ill bet you did have a boyfriend."
me: "yep."
not-someone nice: "oh, really? did you just break up?"
me: "yes."
not-someone nice: "ah, man. how long were you going out for?"
me: "almost a year."
not-someone nice: "that sucks."
me: "back up, bitch."

alright. so i didnt say that last thing, but you know. people suck. and im one of those that suck. therefore, i am human (logos.).

something cool i heard today: "if you arent right, youll be left."

something funny i heard today: "ill bet maggies brother is retarded."

something gay i heard today: "travis hill."

moving on, "sissy" is coming home tomorrow. dont i make her sound like a puppy at a kennel? im sorry. no im not.

1776 is the best movie of all time. in fact, i love it great-lee.

and with the delightful thought of mr. feeny, i leave you.

tune in tomorrow. same doodle time, same doodle place.

alright. so maybe i did pass that test in analysis. just kidding.

my sister is coming home this friday. woo-hoo for sisters.

now on to the important things in life...

dream, amber, and i got a star for the starwalk. i think thats pretty schpiffy. unfortunately, unbeknownst to laura and i, laura and i told amanda wed get a star with her. oh, high school drama, how i love you so.

have you ever wanted to just scream a curse for no reason at all? good. neither have i. somebody was looking awefully cute today. because if you have, then i would be tempted to say that something was wrong with you.

well, that being all the news i have for my adoring crowd today (sad, isnt it?), i leave you with these words of wisdom from the mouth of laura fudgecow:

"if your head is made of rice, dont boil it."

today equals much that amounts to nothing at all.

first period: totally killed myself on the analysis test.

second period: mrs. angert, could you be more enthusiastic?

third period: um... ?

fourth period: finally! we did an experiment correctly!

fifth period: "las zonahorrias son la especialidad de la casa."

sixth period: i got the poo scared out of me during a sleeping lab, thanks to me.

seventh period: movie. ess makes me want to kill myself.

after school: first tutoring session with un chico que no se nada en espanol uno. y me gusta un otro chico que es muy alto y muy, muy, MUY bonito y simpatico y suave y ... todos! eee!

anywho, im going to shut up now.

this is me, shutting up.

so now that i havent stopped doing things for three weeks straight, im a bit on the end of my rope. forgive me. i feel like a basket case and im going to sound like one.

today i signed up for the psat. yay for standarized tests.

um, my parents are making out, so ill cut this short.

no, im not kidding.

alicia is alive.

for all who were wondering.

rachels party rocked. its cool when you actually know everyone at a function held outside of school that you arent hosting. we played with toy cars, had some birthday pie, and went swimming. needless to say, it was an enjoyable evening (sorry. i know i sound like im far beyond my years.).

on a totally different note, i have a date for homecoming. to keep the suspense, i wont say his name, but i will give you a hint: nn tss, nn tss, nn tss. ee-oo ah-oo ee-oo-oo ah-oo.

i went over to andrews house this afternoon for some equipotential fun. i also got to see some very amusing pictures of fez-eddie and william from when we were in sixth grade. it was... interesting.

paige and i decided to be closer friends (i know that sounded incredibly homosexual, but i meant that in the straightest of ways.) (i suppose i should add that weve known each other since first grade and that she moved away in third. some drifting was inevitable. have i redeemed myself?). that makes me happy.

something to make you laugh in this very unfunny post:
me: [step] "oh, my. thats very wet."
andrew: "my dog has a problem."
me: "... youre kidding me."
andrew: "no."
me: [step away] "um... you also have a lizard..."
andrew: "my dog has another problem."

thats all, folks. ill save the ranting on the scarlet letter for tomorrow.

remember: drink your orange juice and then brush your teeth.

today i was totally into wanting to be hispanic. ever felt like that? just humor me and say that you have.

besides the afore mentioned state of being, i am doing alright. the only blow to my ego today was dana saying, "aaw..." when she learned of my interest in joining the math team. i heart my best friend, the rocky for whom i am bullwinkle.

andrew totally put his hand in the water during our engineering lab on equipotential lines. iow: he shocked himself. i wish i was andrew.

tonight i will sigh, hang my head low, and drag into work from 5:30 to 9:00, after which im off to gaither once again to see if the game is still going on and by how much we are losing. fyi: i am bigger than some of the boys on our football team, and while i could stand to lose a few, im not THAT big.

tomorrow is bunches of steinie fun, followed by church and rachels party. it promises to be a good day. if it breaks that promise, ill break its neck. but then again, i never met tomorrow.

jam tomorrow jam yesterday, but never ever ever jam today.

and with that, i leave you. adeiu.

in case you couldnt tell, im full up of nothing.

today was a day of ups and downs.

first period: turtle sub once again.

second period: good grade on the history test and totally rocking overall average.

third period: got to sit next to one happy dream park.

fourth period: no explanation necessary on why the day was brought back down.

fifth period: see above statement.

lunch: jim farted on me. i laughed, then cried. erins cat had more kittens. i cried because i thought of kittens.

sixth period: no explanation necessary on why the day was brought back up.

seventh period: whole bunch of blah.

banner meeting: never draw a lindsey entzminger cheerleader. ever. if you are held at gunpoint to do so, have the decency to not color the face green.

later afternoon: attempted to add more pages to my new site and found a picture of one very disgruntled mr. o.

so that was my day not so much in a nutshell as in a semi-permeable membrane. peace.

(yes, i did feel obliged to write something.)

so i found out last night that someone totally hip was asking about me. unfortunately, i have not the heart to really care right now, so ill save the giggles and squeals for another day.

for all you people out there who were wondering: i have a 94.9 in spanish. let the suspense be broken.

my mom left for pennsylvania today. when i pulled out my sammie I NEED A DATE FOR HOMECOMING at lunch there was a mom note written by dad (they really are one person.).

before i move on to even less interesting topics, let me describe my parents. mom: wordy; smily, yet teary; hits hard; laughs at what wasnt really that funny; answers rhetorical questions; shoulder PLEASE ASK ME to cry on (whether you like it or not); religious. dad: quick, though inattentive; suspicious; funny; bathroom humor; catch 22.

phone call from mom:
mom: "hey! i guess youre home from school!"
me: "yeah."
mom: "is there anything you need at the store? im almost done with my meeting. it was supposed to go to 4:00, but one of the speakers didnt show up because her daughter broke her leg. guess how?"
me: "i dont know."
mom: "playing foosball! foosball! of all things..."
me: "i dont need anything at the store."
mom: "foosball, though. i couldnt believe it."
me: "yeah."
mom: "alright. youre sure you dont need I LOVE YOU anything at the store? cottage cheese? do we have enough?"
me: "yeah. see you soon."
mom: "alright. bye!"

phone call from dad:
dad: "did you try calling my cell?"
me: "no. i paged you when i got home like you asked me to."
dad: "oh. ill have to check that battery, too. see ya."
me: "bye."

interesting, no?

as i promised, ill move on.

brian, regarding todays IM VULNERABLE YET FUN analysis sub:
"thats why you stop teaching when you turn 80."
i do believe it was schutzs mother.

anywho, im out.

first order of business: my sister thinks she broke her finger. i will pause now so you may laugh hysterically.

...

alright. moving on to other matters in order to confirm that i am self-centered, it seems as though i will be spending the evening of november first all by my lonesome. perhaps so will someone wonderful, but that is highly unlikely.

le sigh.

we did our equipotential lines lab today in engineering. i did not set my hand in the water, though i will admit it was mighty tempting. we finished about one minute before the bell rang. mmm. electricity.

which reminds me: i have decided to find a marriable guy whose last name begins with an m. that way, when people would be gay and ask me what my middle name is in order to make a word with my initials, it would already be done: "mmm." margaret mary muddlehoffen - sounds like a plan.

in ap sleep, the turtles finally got on top of the rock. i have been watching them all year (the whole few weeks of it), and they finally made it. rock, turtles. rock.

i was reminded today of my dorkiness. i love you, dana.

with that said, im out. be sure to wait an hour before swimming or surely you will perish.

also, dana says that im a really big dork. i agree.

im not the kind of girl to suggest a godly status of curse words on a regular basis, but HOLY SHIT: this weekend was packed. friday night i went out to dinner with my study group, followed by a totally sucking game of football at death valley. the social portion of the evening more than made up for me wanting to murder our team.

after the game, i went over to ambers house for a super fun giggle fest (sleep-over). we went out to breakfast and then played mario party. amber rocks.

after getting home, i took a shower, got dressed (important step), and left once again to go to borders to get andrew his birthday present (why i am admitting that i waited until the last possible chance to get him a present is beyond me. then again, those who know me know my tendencies.) (tangent.). then i went to work from 2 to 9 freaking 45. twelve-hour sales are officially the most uncool idea ever.

if you want a thrill, change your entire ensamble at a red light on dale mabry.

then i went to andrews hizzie and wished him a happy bizzie (?). it was a cool party. i knew (or at least recognized) everyone there. it was shibberific. i only got to stay for about an hour. i left just when everyone was jumping in the pool fully clothed. i almost did, but then i remembered: wet jeans plastered to your fat thighs = sad face. so i left honking maniacally.

i went to church this morning. our sub was from new orleans. he said the word "marijuana" in his sermon. i like this guy.

tonight, its leadership at 6 and orientation at 6:45.

sigh. i slept about ten hours this weekend. while that may sound like a big number, im here to tell you that it isnt. not when youre in the mood for a good complaining. or "paddlin'." who would want a paddlin'? shut up!

now that im just talking to myself, ill leave. even though this isnt a place to be left. hm... where is the internet?

so much to say, so few to hear. but for those loyal fans of mine who keep coming back for more, this is for you. and me. mostly me. about 1% you. sorry.

first, me: im 16. i dont do much of anything outside of school and work, though recent trends may suggest a complete turnaround in the social life i have lacked so far in my high school career.

work: steinmart. thats about all i can say without wanting to chew glass.

school: my life. im there every day regardless of physical health, better judgement, and session hours. alright. maybe not that last one, but im still there most of the time. thats what school is: adult day care, plus overweight sex offenders.

friends: i dont think i need to name them now. by forgetting a few people, i will offend. i realize that excluding such a list will only lead to the expected deterioration of the aforementioned social life. however, i will say that friends are good (better than just good, actually. pardon the mediocre adjective, but im certain that you must have realized that its not optimal vocabulary night at the kennedy household.).

family: two parents and a sister (we shall call her eek) at college. i have two cats, as well. theyre cute, in the watery-eyes kind of way.

love life: blank. unless smarterchild counts.

i think that about wraps up our first session.
dont forget to put your pants on before your shoes.