Swan dive

"I might be crazy, but that's not the same as insane;
And I'm scared, but that's not the same as being afraid."

I don't know about those camels...

Tell me sweet little lies...

Bonfire of death?

Happy Thanksgiving to you, too.

CRAZY!

That's exactly what the past week has been. I will not go into detail here, but let's just say it's been... refreshing, and yet terrible. I can't make up my mind which best describes it.

On the upscale, I know for a fact now that I will be joining the Peace Corps immediately following college. I may end up waiting out the summer and try to get an assignment in late July or August (depending on availablity), but either way, that's what I fully intend to do. I have a general idea of what I will be changing my major to, but as of yet it is still listed as Criminology (with a minor in Spanish. Comical, no?).

I have a lot of things I'm still sorting through, and this weekend has been dedicated mainly to studying and reviewing. Granted, that's not what I'm doing right this minute, but hey - I earned this break.

Going home Tuesday afternoon after class. Don't have any set plans, except for Friday, which is reserved for post-Thanksgiving sale-day bliss.

I also forgot my big plan: Eurotrip. I'm still doing it (now that I remembered I was). I think perhaps I will shoot for this instead of a semester abroad, as I would likely:

• Not study much;
• Spend way more money than necessary;
• Have such a good time that coming back after 4-6 months would be a disappointment.

So instead, I will spend one summer (perhaps between junior and senior years) having the time of my life. Granted, that is if I can find at least one person to accompany me...

Things are beginning to come together a bit more in most areas. Where they aren't, the circumstances surrounding them are at least defogging. Not that there's much I can do about it, but that's life, and at least I'm no longer ignorant.

And about that whole "updating regularly" thing... Doesn't look like that's going to work out for me.

Lines

Life is what happens when you're think it's finally gotten to be so stagnant that it's hardly worth your best shot.

That's what this weekend has taught me. So many surprise ups, so many unexpected downs, and here I am, still in the middle simply because I don't know what else to do.

Maybe this is an indication of how things will always be; maybe I'm just going through an almost comically hectic period.

I wanted the summer so much this week. I really think it was all a dream. I can't reach that again, and I'll never have that to hold as long as I live. I may get close, but new memories will eventually fill up the holes where I miss the old ones. I might have been bored a lot of the time, but it was so much simpler and happier, more innocent and dangerously bittersweet, the waves of life and love and laughter washing over me like oblivion.

I know I have no right to say any of this; I don't deserve that freedom and I'm well aware of it. Sometimes, though, you just have to see things in writing to know that this is really happening.

I'm sorry, Boo-boo; I'm sorry.

So.

After all that, I'm pretty sure I'm going to change my major. To what, I have no clue, but I do know it will end in "-ology." Or, "History." One of the two.

Why did I waste this semester?

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