like albert einstein once said...

do you remember thinking, when you were that little, that the time would never come when you'd be ready to move out of the house, away from mommy and daddy and the cute boy you never got the nerve to talk to? do you remember wondering what you'd look like, what you'd believe, what you would and would not have experienced, where you would have traveled, what you would have accomplished?

i used to write myself notes and hide them in my room. i'd come across them a few years down the line. they were always full of girlish dreams i'd forgotten, teacher's i'd come to no longer fear but respect, questions i will always wonder about the future me. i'd always read them, thinking to myself how bored i would be with the answers i so desperately wanted to know at the time. i think we just get used to our lives, and what happens and doesn't happen is not so much of a surprise as it might have been when the situation in question was initially pondered over.

i would love to be able to look at the twelve-year-old me and tell her that i turned out alright, that there's nothing majorly wrong with me, that adolescense will teach me not to cry about friends who aren't there and boys who don't care. i would love to sit down with her, tell her that black coffee isn't all that bad, that her writing may never improve but to never stop regardless, that in her notebooks the voice of a progressively more mature young woman is evident and grows to be more easily recognizeable. i would love to tell her about the things that will happen so she can prepare for them, avoid the things that will hurt her, haunt her, keep her up many nights for fear of making the wrong choice. with life comes regret; don't add extra. stress is inevitable; don't worsen it by dwelling.

there are so many things that go on inside my head sometimes. i always wanted to know about the future, but lately it's been the present that concerns me.

who am i?

eleven to your seven

room is cute. stuff is organized. i don't stink. life is good.

well...

"when you need a friend, don't look to a stranger;
you know in the end, i'll always be there.
but when you're in doubt and when you're in danger,
take a look all around and i'll be there."

some friends you can never really leave. after all is said and done, you've shared too many had-to-be-there laughs, gotten through too many cries, and experienced too many life-changing moments to ever actually lose them.

those few people you will have in your life are the true gems.

nothing!

is what i have done all week. except soothe my soul with unsolved mysteries and other dead-end lifetime programs.

what i wouldn't give for a nice pair of balogna shoes...

kaleidoscope

i feel like the summer has slipped between my fingers. i don't know where i was this entire month, but now it's less than two hours away from being august and it's just occuring to me that this was indeed my last real summer to be here with the people i've always summered with.

i know it sounds stupid, and i also know i can't stop myself from criticizing my own statements, but it's sad in a sweet and unhurting way. i feel like i've made peace with most of the people i'll never be seeing again save for new year's eve parties and accidental run-ins at the mall on holidays.

i'm ok. i really am. there are a few people i'm going to come to miss, but mostly i've already gotten over it. i don't cry much anymore except at the most inopportune moments. for example, the most recent episode i can recall involved me being the only soon-to-be graduate at a particular planning event. i don't get emotional over things that normally upset a person's happiness, but rather am bothered immensely by things that nobody gives a flying fuck about. i'm pretty sure we all have our days, but i just haven't had a good cry in a long, long time.

does that make me heartless? probably, which is why i don't generally do well with children. i'm eighteen and i'm selfish and i truly believe i'm invincible. i don't like to be denied something that i want and when i want something i want it immediately. honestly, i'm too wrapped up in myself to be sad about saying goodbye.

they say the first step is admitting you have a problem, but if you're not hurting, i don't see what's wrong.

little july showers

it's raining right now. i can't help but love it. i've always liked it when it rains, unless i had specific plans to do something that can only be done without it.

that's it. still no remedy.

newsflash!

there are other girls out there with my name. according to facebook, there are seven. while a total of seven maggie kennedys may not seem like a lot to the average joe, when you've never met another person with your name, seven is a lot.

and that's just on facebook. i bet there are enough of me to conquer the world!

butterfly in the expansive sky.

truly, i can go twice as high. take a look, why don't you? it's in a leather-bound book! the reading rainbow. the reading rainbow.

and i'm not even on anything.

the verdict:

teeth are being removed tuesday morning. i have a hunch it won't tickle.

i appologize for the short and highly un-entertaining posts. however, i follow that statement with no remedy.

this is what it comes to:

IMing your sister on a tuesday night as you sit on the old pull-out sofa, knees touching and totally IN THE SAME ROOM AS HER.

i love summer.

nightingale song

and little ever changes if anything at all,
and we remind ourselves how small we are.

i don't know.

that's about it.

www.jesusfarts.com

dear paul simon and art garfunkle,

i don't think i like your name, arty, but together you guys make the music of angels. or at least the music that is in my car stereo. thanks for not sucking a lot. i think i am going to take you on vacation version 2.0: myrtle beach style. what do you think of that? i think i should have checked the dates to make sure we were leaving when i said we were leaving so i might actually make some money before going to college. that's what i think.

i also think that "saturday in the park" is definately one of my favorite songs and that it's definately on the radio right now.

well, just thought i'd let you know. don't be those guys.

love,
maggie

mr. reid went to harvard.

did you know that not only is he a terrible candidate to teach ap english literature, but that he is also a cumpulsive lier? the things you learn from emma.

wow.

i just had the best day ever. aside from the panera asshole who always points and laughs at me for reasons (other than the obvious) i can't determine, today was maaaaavelous.

ok. so it was nothing out of the ordinary, but i just went to borders and got a mostly free coffee that was chocolate flavored because - darn! - they ran out of regular. the sacrifices i make.

tomorrow i'm going shopping with my mom. mayhaps it won't rain and the aforementioned tanning necessity can be brought down a few points, though sadly it doesn't look like that will be the case.

i am convinced that lh michael, the unfortunate offspring of microsoft sam, is from columbia. not that i have a problem with south americans. quite the contrary - i'm rather fond of them. but if your computer were to talk to you, wouldn't you expect it to be british? "i'm your new laptop, chum. i eat wretched things that cost a fortune and have a distinct smell. rubbish, beckam, and piss off."

for pete's sake. someone put the world out of it's misery and shut me the hell up.

towels up the wazoo

that's primarily what i did today - counted 35 boxes of towels. and still i feel accomplished.

so basically my welcome-back was played out by being deleted from comany records. all of them. i couldn't clock in, i couldn't clock out, i had to reapply for direct deposit, i can't get an employee discount... the people i worked with in receiving thought my name was kim and that i was the new person hired to work in stock. TWO YEARS, PEOPLE. the only thing that made me feel somewhat like i was at the right place was that the manager - out of the kindness of his dear heart - confirmed that my locker had indeed not been given away. if i didn't have a place to put my money so it could be stolen every few months, mark my words: i would have stormed out of the place.

and returned in three minutes.

seriously, though. it wasn't bad. i actually enjoyed the change of atmosphere. once i began being referred to as "hey" over "kim," i came to realize that the employees customers don't poison with their venomous indifference and ridiculous questions ("what's fiffdee pursent off of tiin?") are actually quite than pleasant to work with.

enough of that. love actually is a great movie and the only instance i can think of in which hugh grant does not play the role of a complete asshole. no; notting hill doesn't count, either.

maybe if the weather ever stops being crappy we can go to the beach. not that i'm volunteering (or not volunteering, i suppose) to haul you around, but does anyone agree that we could all use a little tan? that's what i thought. so who's in?

i guess that's all for now. i'm tired and typed out.

maybe you'll learn something new, but probably not.

Three names I go by:
1. maggs
2. doodle
3. mooster

Three screen names I've had:
1. doodle0512
2. hazelnut587
3. funmaggs

Three physical things I like about myself:
1. eyes
2. teeth
3. hands

Three physical things I don't like about myself:
1. tummy
2. thighs
3. boobs (or lack thereof)

Three parts of my heritage:
1. irish
2. german
3. dirty polack

Three things I am wearing right now:
1. white uf t-shirt
2. pink pajama pants
3. underwear. the scandalous kind.

Three favorite bands/musical artists:
1. hey mercedes
2. billy joel
3. ani difranco

Three favorite songs:
1. burnadette
2. boys of summer
3. your song

Three things I want in a relationship:
1. love
2. patience
3. equality

Two truths and a lie
1. i have never seen titanic.
2. i love living in florida.
3. i dislike dogs to the point of nearly hating them. all.

Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:
1. strong arms
2. handsome eyes
3. deep voice (technically not UNphysical)

Three favorite hobbies:
1. shopping
2. writing
3. talking to friends (cliche, but my favorite of the three)

Three things I want to do badly right now:
1. go back to europe
2. find someone spectacular
3. get a manicure

Three things that scare me:
1. never finding true happiness
2. never finding a career
3. being completely figured out

Three of my everyday essentials:
1. shower
2. eye make-up
3. a good laugh

Three careers you have considered or are considering:
1. spanish major
2. criminal psychologist
3. mommy

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. australian outback
2. spain
3. chile

Three kids names you like:
1. corryn
2. felicity
3. maitland

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. travel the world
2. speak spanish fluently
3. marry someone spectacular (but not before i'm 25)

Three ways I am stereotypically a boy:
1. i sweat.
2. i belch.
3. i take an occasional shit.

Three ways I am stereotypically a girl:
1. i love flowers.
2. sparklie things catch my attention. always.
3. i own too much jewelry

Three celeb crushes:
1. celebs don't do much for me.
2.
3.

your song

so excuse me forgetting, but these things i do -
you see, i’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue.
anyway, the thing is, what i really mean -
yours are the sweetest eyes i’ve ever seen.

router?

i have one? that works? and i'm updating using the laptop?

correct-san.

one laptop, two warnings, and countless cherries later...

so now it's friday. things are somewhat back to normal, though i did have several other strange experiences last night. i swear - i can't do anything anymore without something completely weird happening.

not that i mind.

about those ap scores... i'm not going to lie. i kind of rocked this year. out of four, i only failed one, and i finally got a four on an exam, but not just any exam - the ap calculus ab exam of death. so today i might have to celebrate in the form of decorative pillows for my bed and fantastic bowl chair that are to follow me like ducklings to my in-state university of choice.

but enough about me.

just kidding!

it turns out i forgot a lot of spanish. for example, the verb llegar means "to arrive". i thought it meant "to allow." imagine my confusion as i sit in borders at 9pm on a thursday night trying to fill in the blank when beatriz has not yet allowed, yet always allows on time. ay, que lindo!

my mom bought cherries, in case you were wondering what that was all about. i have been enjoying them in the morning. i have not been enjoying shakira covered in tar on vh1 in the morning.

that's it for now. i smell and need to shower, but i'm probably going to go shopping instead.

saturday in the park; i think it was the fourth of july.

so yesterday was pure awesome. i knew i loved this holiday for a reason. between the fireworks and the fireworks, it rocked.

today i got a new phone. same number, millions of more things i can do. just thought i'd take this opportunity to brag.

that's it for now. movies tonight. new faves rock.

new discoveries:

• diet coke doesn't stain if your name is alicia.
• bridget jones will still be easy to relate to in each new sequel of what i hope to be hundreds.
• microsoft is more than idiot proof when it comes to formatting a hard drive.
• french cologne is spectacular.

coming round the college corner

this is going to be expensive. very, very expensive.

and totally worth it.

the list of things chris and i both like is growing. not exponentially or anything, but still. it's something to be happy about. we figured out that we both like to laugh and see blood, for example.

has someone ever specifically told you not to show up at a performance? it kind of hurts, but in a way it's also a compliment. but it still really hurts. would you show up anyways though and stand where you won't be seen? or would that just piss them off? i'd appreciate your thoughts on that one.

as for now, shower and more shopping. tonight is movies at andrew's. inconceiveable!

talent show, anyone?

"you may be right;
i may be crazy,
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for.
turn out the light;
don't try to save me.
you may be wrong, for all i know,
but you may be right."

it's times like last night that i resent growing up and moving away. or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that i resent ucf in whole.

joke's on you, peabody.

so guess what? i'm officially in college now. not that i've taken any classes or anything, unlike a certain hampster i happen to know (and got to see today. very happy about that.); but i have indeed registered for classes and just ordered an incredibly amazing and exciting laptop. i think that counts.

preview is over, and now i am burning a cd of pictures to be developed tomorrow. though i did cut out two-thirds of my total collection, i still have a crapload to print. methinks this will not be an inexpensive endeavor.

and folks, that is the first time i have ever used the word "endeavor." i've never even said it out loud.

but on the more serious side, i'm really looking forward to next year. i still don't know exactly where i'm headed in life. correction: i have absolutely no clue where i'm headed in life, but now i have a vague idea of what i could make my future turn out to be. even though that was horrible english, and even though my end goal at this point is so highly ambitious it's downright hilarious, i feel better knowing i'm no longer talking to myself like i was on graduation day when i made a speech that didn't seem to touch anyone but myself.

i want to meet new people and get involved. i want to explore different ways to solve the same problems and learn firsthand how it feels to be cultured and social and know how to act with grace and confidence in any situation i would react to with awkward hesitation if confronted with today. i want to say that i've gained more knowledge through experience and dedication and even failure. who knows? i just may meet someone along the way who can stand up for me and these ridiculous thoughts that i have that i never knew i had.

but i'm just being an 18 year-old girl who got a glimpse of what the world has to offer and is now anxious to unveil the rest.

like the dinosaur movie, we're back.

i have so many stories a pictures and stories about pictures, all of which i would LOVE to share with such a captivated audience.

however, my stomach and intestines have taken a turn for the worse, and on this uf preview eve, i find myself in a puddle of maggie, unable to type the million amusing happenings and mishaps of the past month.

i will mention, though, that i had the time of my life. literally. i have a completely new perspective and feel like a completely new person. the trip was amazing, and i will never forget a moment of it.

until later, chickpeas.

adieu, adieu.

i mean it this time. last post f'real.

i hope everyone has an incredible kick-off to their summers (even though that technically happened a few weeks ago. meh.). take notes and fill me in on everything that happens, especially if someone orders a sprite when there's only sierra mist.

i love you!

rrraul.

i woke up at 5:30 this morning scared to death. it sounded like a fire hose was spraying on my windows and lightning was flashing nearly every seconds. after i realized that it was just a thunderstorm, i went to find my kitties - both were soaking. needless to say, the whole beach thing didn't work out, but perhaps ridiculous 80s teen movies are just what i needed anyways.

i'm beginning to sound a lot like someone i don't like. appologies.

TOMORROW IS IT! i can't wait! have you ever seen euros? they're colorful and come in different sizes, depending on how much they're worth. i can't wait to spend them on things i definately don't need but definately want, because hey - how many non-greek people do you know who have visited greece more than once?

that's what i thought.

so far i've made one collage, given myself a manicure and pedicure, and prepared yet another list of things to do (i need a planner. NEED.). since nothing is on the agenda for a few more hours, i'm going to carry on with my self-centeredness and continue pampering and doing whatever i please. i hope everyone has a great day, even though it's crappy outside.

gates of greeceland

the big shove-off occurs in about 36 hours. except for a few things i need to pack tomorrow night or wednesday morning, i'm all set to go. for everyone whose address i don't have and won't have before leaving, you get my boring stories and picture narrations in place of postcards (and you thought you got out unharmed.).

so saturday night i went over to chad's house and watched pi. it's one of those independent films that was made for thinking - something you'd think is a strong suit for me. not the case. carri had to explain the entire thing, brain poking and all. i'm still not certain i understand it. maybe i'll plan a pi night when i get back and have coffee and open discussion.

and be the most boring person in the world.

tomorrow everyone is going to the beach. i thought it would be fun, as jim is leaving wednesday too, but he'll be staying gone. it's sad, though, because i won't be seeing him when school starts. that's one person i'm going to miss.

see? graduating high school is fun up until you take the time to think about just what it is you're leaving behind and moving away from, or who is moving away from you, or what you're giving up to grow up.

my name is still carrie bradshaw, in case there was any question.

erin moved away today. unfortunately, i won't get to see her new apartment until july, but i'm excited for her. i hope things go well.

...shamu!

i'm out of stuff to say. hopefully i'll remember to update this tomorrow afternoon when i'm all tan, because i hate to leave this as my last post for the next month. not that tomorrow i'll be any more enlightened or have anything of great significance to say, but still; the word "shamu" is in the post. i don't roll like that.

this time next week...

i will be in athens, getting ready to go on a thirteen-day cruise of the greek islands.

if you're lucky, i will also be writing you a post card.

please send addresses.

"amazed by you"

i wish this was easier,
but it never is,
is it?
all you have to do
is look at me
and i'm an idiot,
walking around in mud and heels
or fire and ice
just to put a smile on your face.
you think you don't impact me,
but not a day goes by
that some thought of you,
some trace element
doesn't seep into my thoughts,
forcing me to remember you.

and of course i don't remember the bad;
that's why i am your fool.
you could slap me around
for the rest of my life
and it would only make me happy.
do you know that already?
you could do anything you fancy -
cut me, stab me, piece me
with your words
or with your persistent apathy -
and i would love you all the same.

i know you don't care,
but it doesn't change anything.
i just wanted to write you this shitty poem
to make myself feel more incomplete.

the verdict:

last night was fucking amazing. i had so much fun and everyone else seemed to enjoy themselves, as well. i danced almost the entire time and have once again acquired the nice, "hey! i'm a man!" voice. puff and rob showed up and stayed until the end, which pleasantly surprised me, considering they didn't go to gaither. i even got erin to dance and be stupid and funny, even though she's "old." everyone looked incredible, especially the hosts. chris was sporting the casual sheik look, christy with the elegant appeal, marisol with the laid-back and relaxed style, susan with the dark - yet inviting and cute - look, sweeney with the "who's ready to party?" dress, and maggie... well, she just looked hot.

i had such a great time last night and i hope you guys did, too.

three cheers for narcissism.

grad party what?

tonight is the momentous occasion we have all been waiting for: EL GRAD PARTY. i'm pretty dern excited, and i can't wait to get there. i will fill you in on how it went tomorrow (or whenever i get around to updating again), even though if you're reading this you were probably there.

"i wanna hear you whisper..."

today was terrific. it's so sunny and i'm sad i couldn't have spent it outside, but it was just such a beautiful and clean day that i can't help but be happy regardless of all the confusion and turmoil and hectic schedules. today, none of it mattered. it was just... terrific.

chance time?

the past few weeks have been a little crazy. in fact, i'm beginning to think that i'm a little crazy. today i acknowledged the fact that i would never make it to 5:00 and quit at 2:00, came home, attempted without success to sleep, and ended up cleaning my closet and dresser (yes. this IS important.).

why am i telling you this?

because this is my journal and i can write whatever i damn well feel like writing.

i got my prom pictures today. someone's eyes were closed. thank you, brynn alan, for totally taking two shots because i dress up like that so often.

it's tired in here. i think i should stop. fingers, end.

they refuse to listen.

so this one time in tampa...

a hundred ships a day

"brandy" was on the radio tonight; it's officially summer vacation.

i have yet to get sentimental. i wrote a few things that indicate otherwise, but i truly don't feel it. then again, it was only yesterday that i left the gaither senior parking lot for the last time in my life, so perhaps it will catch up with me later. who knows? maybe i'm heartless and will never care enough.

i'm so full of it. i know as well as every other girl reading this that i'll be crying pretty hard next tuesday. hopefully i'll be able to keep it under control. if not, that's life; you're born, you learn, you die, and sometimes you get whip-lash in between.

take for example the time i did the running bunjee with sweeney yesterday - prime example of delayed whip-lash.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm eighteen and i have no idea what the hell i'm talking about. i hope you don't mind, because i'll wonder for life this while you're in the world.

fin.

"stop"

stay with me in this moment.
moonlight and hesitation,
questions and small talk -
don't move an inch,
because the stars in your eyes
on this suddenly unordinary night
are killing me to look at,
killing me to look away from.
i want it all,
and i want no part of it.
forget everything we aren't saying
and pretend like it's how it appears:
that nothing is happening
and everything is perfectly,
casually normal;
that this is simply a summer-laced night
with no promises of anything romatic
and certainly no hint of confusion
or any emotion stronger than apathy;
that the ever-exapanding universe
hasn't caught me by surprise
in this dry and awkward heat
by throwing you into my field of vision
and making me see you
as though for the first time.

no; don't move an inch,
or it will run away.

what a FABulous day!

i don't think it could have been better. from my little mermaid watch (i didn't know the amish rolled like that, emma.) to the nerf guns (hey - i mean it. maurice is fierce. cross the line of demarcation next year and i'll bust a styrofoam cap in your ass, sweeney.) to the pinkishness (dream, you really couldn't have picked better accessories. i love them SO much! and the balloon was also very much appreciated. i love the attention, and you definitely know that.) to the hello kittiness (another great idea. the rope lights are definitely going to uf, but i think the bag is too cute to put my dirty clothes in. thanks graham!) to the flowers (a total surprise. they are so beautiful and vibrant and smell like the angel you are, puffie.) to the gator paraphenalia (how did you know i was a fan, kim?), it certainly was an awesome day. thank you for making it special, everyone. just knowing you guys are there for me is enough. i love you!

"all over you, all over me,
the sun, the fields, the sky..."

it's tomorrow, annie.

after tonight's big fiasco, i must say that i'm more excited for tomorrow. i know that it's still just a day and that it doesn't mean anything on its own, and that since i spent all my time up until right now not caring it won't mean much because i didn't intend for it to. but i guess it's still cool. at least i can do something next wednesday. just what, i don't know, but i'm doing something.

congratulations to everyone who went tonight. you guys are really amazing and i'm very proud of you.

language acquisition? who?

that's how the essay part was, but who cares? i'm done! forever! with everything! and i even got out of school before you did.

call from amber about twenty minutes ago:
"hey! how's it going?"
"great! you?"
"good. ...so you like coffee, right?"
"yeah."
"ok. would you prefer coffee or tea?"
"coffee."
"do you drink caffienated or decaf?"
"well, i usually drink decaf."
"ok!"
"why?"
"hey. i'm the one asking the questions here."
"ok."
"see you tomorrow!"
"bye?"

tomorrow night is the senior achievement banquet. i hear tell it's long, so i think i'm going to wear my minnie mouse dress for sideline entertainment.

i had to execute the picture uploader. it made the computer sick, so i hope you liked the ones i put on here because it looks like they're going to be the only ones ever.

i have to work tonight in mens. i don't know where anything is, nor do i know the significance of the numbers that apparently denote size. basically, i'm screwed. damn hungarian terrian and her vindex and wacuum commands.

i resign from thinking.

cha cha again.

back to normal? i hope so.

prom rocked. i loved my hair, my dress, my nails, my self-done makeup (thank you very much), my date, my corsage, the limo, the dinner, the everything. everyone looked amazing - the girls in the prettiest formals and the guys clean-shaven and bow-tied. it was an unforgettable night.

i spent sunday catching cat-naps when i could. i fell asleep outside and woke up feeling like my skin was on fire - NOT funny - so i went inside, took out my hair with three pairs of hands, and showered my famous eight-gallons of hairspray away. i went to work to show the girls pictures and hand out invitations, and then i shopped for an unequal ratio of time to things bought.

tomorrow is my last ap exam ever. if you hear a scream of pure, elated joy around 3:45, it will be me completing my last real assignment in high school.

that's about it.

oh, and facebook me or die.

prommie!

so tomorrow's the big day. nails in the morning, hair in the early afternoon, and pictures at 5:45. then it's off to dinner and dancing the night away.

am i excited?

hells yeah! (i had to, sweeney.)

i can't wait. it'll be so much fun. limo and everything.

...GAH! come on, tomorrow! get here already!

i finally downloaded a picture uploader. you can expect a lot of this nonsense from now on, so i hope you enjoy.

pink lady.

orangsicle.

ain't no holla back for the 'luda.

gwen, THIS shit is bananas.

iiiiiii.

haaaaaaaate.

COMMENCEMENT SPEECHES!

(or at least the thought of giving one.)

let the games begin.

this week starts the end of my high school career. with the coming of aps and the ending of classes, it's kind of strange to know that from here on out it will only ever hurt me to sleep in a class.

but enough of that. my sister graduated yesterday. she actually found us sitting in the stands, which was odd but cool. i'm really proud of her.

friday was spent working and grad partying (which was a total blast by the way). i was still a bit deaf when i got up saturday. sinus infection plus faceache plus ringing ears yields best time ever.
i realize that i suck at updating. when exams are over and a girl can get some sleep around here, it's back to the normal, quasi-efforted and multi-paragraphed entries (because while it may seem like i'm already there, it took me thirty uninterupted minutes to come up with everything i just wrote.).

armadillo hug.

hippoooooo.

i'm so tired i can hardly think. today was sticker day, according to me. i had fun with it. and now i have no homework, so i will take advantage of this most craptacular afternoon and sleep, clean my room, or drink coffee and think of how i should be sleeping or cleaning my room. thank you for your cooperation.

ink tag

throw one sometime. it's fun.

boom. i got your prom date.

today was much better than yesterday, which totally sucked ass. i got an unbelievable amount of makeup work in first period (yes. i was absent a week and a half ago and did ask if i had any work to turn in. she said no, then proceeded to give me two glutonous assignments. thanks, mrs. grannell. like jem, you are truly, truly, truly outrageous.); discovered in third period that i failed the john donne test (you know. the one i spent three hours studying for.); nearly failed another test in fourth period (the man had mercy and let us continue it today, so that bad grade just transfers to present.); got one shining ray of hope in fifth period when i had my calculus exam graded and NEARLY MADE A FIVE; and had my faith in humanity crumble when i went to sixth period and had to discover that people like mrs. newman - including mrs. newman herself - exist. i had the headache from hell all the while, with no time to nap or even change my shirt between tutoring and work. needless to say, i am erasing april eighteenth from the calendar.

today, not the case.

i stuck it to grannell and finished almost all of her damned work (much of which i even turned in at the BEGINNING of first period); had a second period club to go to (club week is still a terrible idea.) and a present waiting for me when i got there; chatted all through third period; still did poorly on the fourth period test, but not as much as i would have without the extra day; kicked ass in fifth period on the chapter five tom-foolery; banished newman from thought in sixth because i went to the library to finish typing all the crap for euro i would otherwise be occupying myself with at present; and got to see a funny picture meticulously prepared by jessica s. sweeney in seventh of mrs. jarrett's favorite circus animal.

and i save the best detail for last:

prom dilemma happily solved. graham is the lucky beau. now that things are coming together - dinner, plans afterward, date, etc - i'm pretty excited.

tell kim to go to prom.

a vindication on the rights of student

what on earth possessed me to take calculus? why did i think it was a good idea? though completely without direction now as to what i will major in and spend the rest of my merry little life doing, i know it will not involve higher-level math simply because i would avoid any career requiring extensive use of functions and integrals and derivatives and all the otherwise useless information and techniques presented by this course.

it is due time to sing your heart out, cher.

if i could turn back time,
if i could find a way,
i'd take back my senior schedule
and fix it.
if i could reach my couselor's pc,
i'd change it all to null
this really,
really,
REALLY difficult class.

amarillo

i am really happy to be alive today. the sun is so nice and warm and there is a breeze blowing in through the window i am sitting next to. i can't even come up with a good reason as to why i am inside right now.

what a beautiful day.

i was thinking last night and it occured to me that this is that time i will refer to when i mention all the names of people long graduated and long forgotten about me. this is the time i will be talking about when i say "i remember working at my first job" or "a girl i was real close with in high school" or "my old boyfriend used to drive one of those." this is the time when most of my poetry and reflections on major events and major changes within myself occured or occured to me that the something more than what floated on the surface was actually the part that meant the most.

this is it.

and it seems as though the slanting shadows made by grass upon the sidewalk are nodding in affirmation in the glittery wind, nostalgic already even though it is only today.

biscuit kittens

today was good.

tonight is work.

no pronouns aqui.

"and the embers never fade in the city by the lake."

i'm still kind of all over the place. i don't know what is going on in a few classes, but it doesn't really concern me. i did get a warm welcome back, as i haven't stepped inside the building in a week. it made me feel so very loved and missed.

this week is unusually packed with things to do. today was my tutoring day (cancelled, because of "illness." you know how it was when you were in fourth grade and just didn't feel like being at school.), tomorrow is grad party picture day, wednesday night i have to work, thursday i have an eye exam, and friday begins my normal weekend.

ok. so maybe that isn't a major list of plans and appointments, but it's more than i usually do during the week. i suppose that makes me kind of boring. or really boring. your pick.

if anyone reading this has chapter 21 for the euro review and doesn't feel like doing it alone, i'm your girl.

that's about all for today. tune in next time for more maggie mania.

and the title has nothing to do with anything. don't read into it because i put it there with no thought whatsoever. just a good song.

i heart yrbk.

bang, zoom, to... hell.

i guess it wasn't THAT bad, but it wasn't like i was expecting it to be. i'm just glad that it's over.

high points of the state science and engineering fair:
1. gaston! i met someone named gaston! ("as a specimen, yes, i'm intimidating!")
2. refriending.
3. pony boy.
4. kid falling flat on his face on stage.

low points:
1. loud and obnoxious middle schoolers.
2. freezing buildings and establishments. all of them. even the bus. not cool. not literally.
3. dropping my bag directly on my foot last night in a frantic hurry to get to bed (i guess that was after-the-fact, but i still wanted to mention it to elict pity and avoid explaining the bruise that will no doubt cover my entire foot.).

i guess that about sums it up.

oh, and i won fourth place in my category. i was pleasantly surprised.

today marks the last twelve-hour sale of my retail career. no nostalgic reflections to add. after i get off of work at 10:30 or so, i'm going to see my friend and his band play their first show.

to my sister: congratulations on the million interviews you have. good luck, and i know you will be accepted at many schools.

to everyone in chorus: i'm really sad about missing spectrum. i heard from everyone that went that it was great. good job, guys!

to everyone who kept calling me these past four days: thank you. i mean it. sorry i was boring, but i really apprectiated it. kept me sane amongst the penetrating sounds of ringtones being changed every three seconds.

to everyone not included in the above: some people call me maurrrice. wao, wao.

end scene.

amarillo

"just to see you smile,
i'd do anything
that you wanted me to.
when all is said and done,
i never count the cost;
it's worth all that's lost
just to see you smile."

not that that song has anything to do with me right now, but it still felt appropriate. i don't know. call me crazy, but buler wants soup for the buck naked art vandalay.

and never disappointed. you're talking to vanessica, so i think it's clear who should be embarrassed.

he put my stuff in jello again!

the office is hilarious. i highly recommend it.

work was really enjoyable, believe it or not. after we closed, the weirdest thing happened. there had been practically no one in the store all night, but come 9:00, ten or twelve women ambled up to the front of the store to check out. where did they come from? the gigantic ant pile someone set on fire in the rear of the building? i will never know.

tomorrow i'm working in the morning, so i will hopefully be doing something incredibly fun (and cheap) at night. i felt like going out tonight, too, but the whole "hey. i'm broke." thing is kind of inhibiting.

i haven't got much else to say. hope everyone had fun at the renaissance festival.

happy bithday, eddie. hope it was amazing.

april fools!

once upon a time in mexico.

i wrote a really witty post earlier and it was lost somewhere in the bowels of ie when i went to publish it. so much for that idea.

tomorrow is le club day. i am le excited.

i have to be back at school tomorrow night for snhs inductions. while practicing my bit, i regained my long-gone spanish accent. ask me tomorrow to say something to you in spanish just so i can show off. really - it'll make my day.

"hey maggie!"
"yeah?"
"mom says go to bed!"

i love how my dad said it for my mom when we're all in the same room.

give me hugs or give me death!

ok. so maybe that's a bit dramatic, but i could really go for a big, warm hug right about now. things aren't going at all how i had envisioned them, and in fact new situations are arising that i never foresaw taking place.

have i been ambiguous enough yet? good. because it was getting old for me, too.

so tomorrow i can eat peanut butter again. too bad i don't crave it anymore. what about yous?

yes. i did mean to make that plural.

i can't think of anything better to say. i am jack's complete lack of surprise.

edna's goldfish

"you can't stop me!
i wanna be invincible!"

that is my new song for work.

why? you ask.

i wrote out a list of the nearly 25 days (including most weekends) between today and the first of june that i will not be able to work before giving my two weeks' notice at the end of may. before explaining that i understand that i may have to quit earlier than i had planned (oh, do i understand.), my boss took the paper and said, "ok."

ok.

as in, fine.

as in, you still work here.

as in, i wasn't forced to quit today like i had planned.

as in, i just bought a two-month supply of chicken mcfuckits.

i acknowledge fully that this is the most kickass job i will ever have in my entire life. hungarian terrian will be the only boss i can ever hand a very specific list of dates when i, princess, am available to grace her presence with. the pay is shit, but who cares? i'm still employed.

anyways, how are you? did you catch a mario star as well? we'd like to hear! send all entries to:

mario stario
330 thatmaggiegirlisreallygreatANDsingle drive
po box 429
somebodygetmeoutof, here 51287

i'm a fag.

1, Name you answer to: maggie, doodle, becky (no, i'm not kidding), magazine, magnet

2, When you look in the mirror you see: one hot bitch.

3, Age you act: 10 or 20. depends.

4, Actual Age: 17.

5, Day you were brought into this world: may 12, 1987. mark your calendars.

6, Feeling Ballsy?: as always.

7, Wanna make-out?: i need to brush.

8, If you could runaway anywhere where would you go?: africa. bet you can't find me.

9, Insect or bug that freaks you out: snake-bug

10, An American who would be a good president: not mrs. granell

11, A nursery rhyme you can still recite: the three little kittens

12, Who do you live with?: parents, great aunt, two cats

13, Have you ever made friends with a troll under the bridge?: who hasn't?

14, First movie that you ever cried to: steel magnolias

15, Describe a simple pleasure in your life: hearing "i love you" from anyone in any context and for any reason.

16, What is something you hate to do?: turn red when talking to cute boys.

17, Do you have trouble with your temper?: no. i just get frustrated easily.

18, When you marry someone do you want that person to be like your mom or dad?: no, but they probably will be.

19, Do you have a job now?: yes

20, What is it?: retail and kissing ass.

21, What is your favorite food to eat: thai.

22, What do you think you'll die of?: car crash or something equally sudden and unforseen.

23, How many times have you dyed your hair?: nonce.

24, Ethnic background: irish, german, polish.

This or that

25, checks or cash: cash.

26, night or day: depends.

27, love or lust: love.

28, soy or meat: meat - what a joke.

29, sugar or chocolate: chocolate.

30, tattoos or piercings: piercings.

31, 80's or 90's: both were all-time lows for fashion. is that what you wanted to hear?

32, lazy or motivated: lazy. and what.

33, warm or cold: to be? cold.

34, small city or big city: i'm indecisive.

35, gum or mints: mints!

36, harry potter or lord of the rings: neither.

37, hurricane or snow storms: hurricane party like woah.

38, mooning or flashing: flashing. why did i answer?

39, Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston: jennifer.

40, Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp: armpit.

42, hands or toes: both are dirty.

43, naughty or nice: don't YOU want to know.

44, sandals or sneakers: sandals.

45, sprint or cingular: alltel, b.

46, slim fast or protein shakes: protein shakes.

47, concerts or clubbin: concerts by default.

48, smoking or drinking: drinking. razzle my dazzle.

49, silver or gold: silver.

50, contacts or glasses: contacts.

51, rain or shine: shiny rain.

52, cucumber or banana: cucumber. unless you mean otherwise. in which case i don't like you much.

53, writing or drawing: writing.

54, kiss or diss: kiss. duh?

55, Michael Moore or President Bush: i don't understand.

56, Massaging or tickling: tickling is fun for all involved and it's free.

58, Pink or black: pink.

57, Walmart or Target: target.

59, cats or dogs: kitties!

60, North or south: west.

Interview of You

61, 10 things you hope to accomplish in 10 years: graduate from college, get a job, travel to many places, speak spanish fluently, find that great guy, and finish this list.

62, 9 materialistic things you couldn't live with out: clothing, brush, shampoo, toilet paper, toothpaste, clean underwear, and you pick the rest.

63, 8 things you touch daily: a brush, my hair, water, the ground, lip gloss, i dont care anymore.

64, 7 bands/singers you've seen in concert: nsync, sister hazel, rubyhorse, dishwalla, avril lavinge, live, euclid.

65, 6 things that make you happy: old-fashioned lawn sprinklers, kittens, warm clothes fresh from the drier, realizing it's the weekend when i wake up, haircuts, going out.

66, 5 foods you love to eat: pitas, apples, chocolate!, noodles, ice cream.

67, 4 Movies you love to watch: can't.

68, 3 places you've been to in the past month: gainesville, clearwater, your mom.

69, 2 most embarrassing moments: it takes a lot to embarrass me.

70, 1 thing that's bothering you right now: thing or person?

In 6 months will you:

71, travel out of the state?: yes

72, have a bf or gf?: doesn't look like it.

73, Have major surgery?: am i that ugly to you?

74, Do something that will change your life forever?: why, yes, as a matter of fact.

75, Get a job?: quite the opposite.

76, Move to the streets and sell crack?: already there.

77, Go to jail?: i hear it's a nice place.

78, Plan to runaway?: no.

79, Stalk someone?: it's what i do.

80, Birth a child?: i vote no.

81, Have a sweet sixteen?: no, mtv.

82, Get a new piercing or tattoo?: we'll see.

83, Take summer classes?: eew. please don't.

84, Leave the country?: yes.

85, Go to a concert or club?: hopefully many of both.

86, Confess your feelings to someone?: already did.

87, Drive over the speed limit?: oh, no. that would be unlawful.

88, Kiss a frog?: i'm flaky enough.

89, Gain or lose 10 lbs?: after the next 10 i'm done.

90, Go on a roadtrip?: doesn't look like it.

91, Go completely insane?: it's likely.

92. Be on national television?: it's not likely.

93, Cook a meal?: yes.

94, Make a prank phone call?: i'm 12.

95, Do any illegal drugs?: i sell crack on the streets.

96, Go hunting?: no.

97, Volunteer somewhere?: yes.

98, Have a serious talk with someone?: yes.

99, Fall in love with the next person who flirts with you?: hello, adam.

100, Wish you were someone else?: ick.

dontcha!

what a fun and crazy little day i had. from beach to boys to losing boys to finding boys to losing boys' numbers to getting lost to parking in the wrong garage to missing the exit to BURNADETTE!, i must say it was most memorable.

"you may be right -
i may be crazy,
but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for."

them's the brakes.

i bought some bright nail polishes today that don't match with anything i own. as soon as i finish writing this i will put the pink one on my toes. aren't you glad i tell you these things?

tonight we're going over to clearwater to have dinner with my cousin and company at a place called guppie's. isn't that cute?

it's finally beginning to feel summery. it didn't even rain or anything. can i get a what-what for weather forecasters knowing NOTHING?

tomorrow i work in the morning and have no plans for that night, so if you want to do something, let me know.

sometimes you feel like a nut;
sometimes you don't.

"i will continue to evolve..."

about this whole taking chances thing: do it. you'll surprise yourself and a few others along the way.

who knows? something beautiful just may happen.

eep!

i love it!

but enough about me. how is everybody's break going so far? any vacations, trips, etc that you've got coming up? i hope those who have jobs aren't swamped all week. if you are, let me know EXACTLY when you're working (bwa ha ha.).

tonight is employee night. needless to say, i'm going in for a visit. i can't resist and that's all there is to it.

tomorrow i'm shopping with my mom in the morning, tanning in the afternoon (hopefully, because rainy mcsucks is due for another visit), and working at night. tuesday we're having dinner with my cousin and her beau, so i can't wait for that either.

oh, spring break. you're so pretty.

spring break is here to stay!

i'm so happy! and it's only saturday! HEHE! i think i am a silly azn at heart.

tomorrow should be loads of non-obligated fun. if all goes well, i'll be a brand new maggs by 4:00 in the p of m. then again, i keep saying that and don't go for it. guess we'll see. literally.

by the way, that was in reference to the sex change.

so gainesville was fun. and cold. but way more fun than cold. i can't wait to go there next year. it'll be weird at first, going home to a room and getting lost on the way there, but it'll be so much - for lack of a better word - fun.

"did you think we were students?"
"... oh. yeah. totally."

i don't have much else to update on right now, but i could go for a peppermint paddy.

funny.

someone made a really good funny just a short while ago, but i can't remember what it is at the moment. updates to come.

spoon people. like chris. i don't get it.

dear julie,
don't drink large amounts of caffiene at 9:00 pm. even though you're cool.

love,
maggie

good luck!

tomorrow is going to be a great day no matter what happens.

to [SO-noon]: you're totally my idol now. it will go great, and i do mean that.

to sweens: in just twenty-four hours, we will be in gator territory. hope you bring your pineapples.

to ringo: watch out.

that about sums it up. have a beautiful night!

what an odd and enjoyable little day i had. i've begun studying for the test from hell and i applied for a few more scholarships, some of which i'm sure are illegal. i went for a good long run and got back just before it started to rain. i'm completely stoked for this weekend, too, so that adds to the general happiness.

i found a few scholarships having to do with film. if anyone wants to get together and shoot one (or several) over the break, i'm your girl. except i don't have a camera, but it's just a technicality.

i don't know what else to write about.

[exeunt.]

and the beat goes on.

today was pretty amazing. not only did we end the endless movie in vietnam history, but i got the chance to talk to a few friends about plans for spring break and beyond.

eep! i can't wait!

after school, i tutored like usual. the little sister handed me some beads before i left and when i was about to walk out the door, she said, "wait! you forgot your hug!" that made my day. it's little things like that that make me smile when it's humid as hell outside.

speaking of, what's up with you, weather? you royally suck. i wish we could get some constancy out of you.

"amid the chaos of an ill-tempered march, i couldn't help but wonder what happened when you lost the zsa zsa zu."

i swear to you that's the only carri bradshaw impression i will ever do. forgive.

it's time to be productive. hope everyone had a terrific day!

i don't get it.

that about sums it up. every time i have my five minutes of insight and peaceful resignation to the fact that life is going to happen whether or not i consent to its processes, a chord is played completely out of tune and out of sync, ruining the whole song simply by happening. i just don't understand why things go the way they do.

and here i am, letting this last year pass me by like it doesn't mean anything when in fact it has been a crucial step in learning how to be apathetic enough to not let everything hurt.

i don't know what the future holds, but i am confident it will settle itself. the sheet is still suspended in the fan-blown air, and whether it will land a rumpled mess in the corner or a square in the center of the room is yet to be known.

the answers are coming. maybe i'll finally see.

chilly nilly!

today was ick. i got home, made a pot-o-coffee, and proceeded to watch she's all that for reasons beyond my comprehension. i think tonight i'm going to finish off a few more chapters of invisible man and apply for a scholarship or two. i will get at least one.

WILL.

word on the street is that tomorrow is the lovely singing day for all my favorite thespians. i can't wait and i'm not even in the club. oh, the untold joys tomorrow shall bring.

i think it finally stopped raining while i typed this. imagine that.

card games gone wild.

dream: "i'm kind of sick of romance now. i need something raw and fresh. like man flesh."

bee ee aye gee gee are ee ess ess eye vee ee!

yep. still walking on eggshells. i can't seem to get away from them, either, and all i really want to do is jump all over the place. i think i will if things don't settle down according to my schedule.

ANYWAYS.

multicultural assembly tomorrow. i'm looking forward to the irish dancer. it makes me so happy that she can do that. i wish i could.

chris is making a video of a math-off between mr. schutz and mrs. brand, and i am honored to say that i was invited to be the latter. he said he thought i could pull off the laser-eye stare. little does he know that i actually do have laser vision. true story.

so who's excited for emma's party on saturday? answer is this girl right here. i don't know what/who to dress up as, though.
limited budget + lack of ideas - creativity = thoughtless.
any suggestions? maybe i'll go as a dude, or perhaps just keanu reeves.

i'm out of stuff to say. hope everyone had a marvelous day.

"stop that rhyming - now, i mean it!"
"anybody want a peanut?"

chance time?

today was pretty good, i must say. i got up early and went rollerblading before work. john and kelly stopped by for shits and giggles, and later sweeney and co. visited when i went on break. a lot of cool people opened, too, so it went quickly.

tonight i went to see constantine with john. good movie, but thoroughly confusing. if only keanu reeves could be taken seriously... then we chilled listening to early nineties music at the picasso mcdonald's. twas a fun evening indeed.

when i got home - SURPRISE - my dad was on the couch. he had been in orlando since wednesday and i thought he was coming home tomorrow. needless to say, i felt disoriented.

in fact, i still do.

so that's my day in very short. hope you enjoyed your stay at the luxe burnadette blog.

open for business

what a truly interesting community my workplace is. who would have thought?

afterwards, i went out to chilis with jessica and carri. a drunk guy kept screaming "goodbye!" at me in the parking lot. odd, yet funny.

who else couldn't stop being perverted and wanted "desperately" to compare the blackberries in the ap lit essay to sex? not that that's what i wrote about, but i sure thought of it.

and on that strange note i leave you.

am i too obvious?

i wonder sometimes.

anywho, what a grimey day. if it wasn't so cold, it may have been downright enjoyable, but it is, so it wasn't. good thing home depot had a window the size of the old one, or it would be raining inside. that would be kind of neat, actually.

i made dinner for my mom and only have a lab and some studying to do for homework. then it's coffee and law and order, my two favorite lovers.

i guess everyone is at the theatre tonight. i didn't particularly want to go, but now that i didn't, it will probably end up being a really good performance. that's my luck.

i better get going on that lab so i can update more interestingly later. that crazy speed of light - always good for a laugh.

jump click!

what a good day. while some were skipping school, i was on my way to buy THE PERFECT PROM DRESS.

yes. i found it.

i don't want to reveal much about it, so i will just say that it's really pretty.

mom: "so now that we've gone to the dress store, we need to go to the boy store."

and now i am done talking about prom.

dear perfect prom dress,

where are you? i tried looking for you again today but i couldn't find you anywhere. i thought you were hiding in the yellow and torquoise strapless dress of sheer beauty but you weren't, because it was too expensive and i didn't have the boobs to fill it. then i thought i saw you in the nice minty one at dillards, but again my suspicions were unnecessary - that, too, would have exposed me at some point during the night.

i looked for you for two hours this afternoon, and you weren't in any store at westfield. you make me so sad.

tomorrow i shall try again. leave me clues, please, because i get lost easily in international plaza for reasons unbeknownst to everyone.

yours truly,
maggie

um. what?

today was a total waste as far as school is concerned. i tutored and got paid (yes!), and then came home to the weirdest thing ever: a tree in my family room.

no joke. the winds from the approaching cold front blew over the palm we just had planted in our front yard a week ago. it smashed through the window and knocked out a few of the stones on the side of the house on the way down. what sucks the most is not only the damage to the house (which is now freezing since it's pretty difficult to move a freaking palm tree and even more difficult to place a barrier between it and the rest of the house), but the tree was expensive, too.

it also doesn't brighten the situation that the project board i have to take to state with me in april was in the room and is now completely useless. poor thing was in the way when all hell broke loose and is now creased just enough to be nonfunctional. FANTASTIC.

everyone is in a bad mood because it hasn't been long enough to be funny yet, so basically i'm stuck in a frozen-over hell.

with that said, how was your day?

the rain is nice for a change. i know that many (ahem - sweens) won't agree with that statement, but i really enjoy the sound of it falling on the roof or blowing against the windows. before we redid the kitchen, you could hear it hitting on the tin vent - i don't know how, but it did. it always makes me feel really happy.

i wish i could insert something meaningful right here, but it's just not happening.

polUlar!

so guess what?

my project kicked some major ass last night. not only did i beat shrimp girl, but i landed first place in senior environmental science - PLUS i'm going to state in april along with dustin, ally, and jim. sweet? i. think. so!

today was pretty depressing, though. special olympics were cancelled due to "the inclement weather," and to top it off we had a suckass test in math. oh well. what can you do?

work was pretty cool. i had fun bragging about my mostly amazing week.

oh. and i GUESS i shouldn't forget to say:

happy birthday, eek! i love you (and abu!)! "there's a party here in agraba..." i'm glad you had a fun day getting a pedicure with our gramma. nintendo forever like woah in the his house.

love youuuuuu!

[poop!]

monger el beast

today was better than yesterday.

much.

yesterday consisted of critical evaluation of my semester-long project, with a nice jim, bob, and random engineer to brighten my day. the occasional visit from alex didn't hurt, either. too bad we had to stand most of the time, and too bad that shrimp girl totally kicked my ass in science land. i guess i'll see how i measure up tonight at the awards ceremony.

today was just plain terrific. no make-up work, and i already wrote the essay i missed in ap lit. math wasn't too bad, either. i guess after the complete break-down i had last night before passing out meant that things could only get better. it was comical in a way. my mom was laughing, anyways. i suppose that once you start crying and grabbing at the jewelry dish on the kitchen counter it's time to say "screw it" and go to bed at 8 pm.

not that you wanted to know.

a word to the wise: running in dirt in jeans and flip flops (and a shirt, if you're not being photographed) isn't the smoothest way to go.

poncho and lefty take the stage

i don't know what made me say that, but i seem to have kept my identity hidden in the midst of all the crush day mayhem. and you?

today was quite productive for me. i would go through the specifics of it all, but i'll just end up boring you to tears.

on the other hand, today SUCKED! mainly because of bree-und and her terrific idea of having a test this thursday on logistics. what a genius, i tell you, which i suppose explains why she teaches college-level mathematics.

cumulatative. silly alex.

"get over here, you chubby little dork!"

today was full of florida state fair fun. alliteration, too.

i am now delightfully burnt, as sweeney and alise are, and perhaps drew-drew, candlestick, and the rest of the gang are monstah lobstahs.

i'm such a crazy bitch.

anyways, this week is going to be freaking awesome.

why, maggie? regale us.

if you insist.

you see, it goes like this: no school today, school tomorrow, no school wednesday, school thursday, no school friday! not much is going on tomorrow, anyways, and i'm sure that thursday won't be very enthralling, either. wednesday is the science fair at usf (look for the ridiculous showboard with toy cars on it and a title much longer than it ever needed to be.), and friday i am allegedly competing in the special olympics (thank you, alex, for your undying support.).

last night i had a most delightful time with the girls at jt after prom dress shopping with the sweens. i wish i had brought my camera so i can get opinions or just LOOK at all the shit that's out there over and over again.

i'm pretty sure there's salt in my eye.

who's up for everwood tonight?

gremlin boy

i have no idea what in HELL is going on. i wish i could see what ends up happening just so i don't have to be confused right now. i have been tinkering with this time machine and plan to have it finished in about five minutes. hopefully it will solve all problems.

ambiguity! gets two thumbs up, rave thumb one and thumb two.

i wish i was cool and had uber sweet talents. i want to cook dinner for my dad on his birthday, but sometimes things don't work out too well when i do that. anything neat i can learn to do in two weeks?

speaking of cooking, i'm going to be in greece for most of june. isn't that terrific? partly, of course, because i can tell damn terri to go fuck herself - i'm not her shitslave*.

that'll be the day. may eighteenth, let me count the ways...

history channel is my lover.

tonight equals movie and sleepover. will update later when can find pronouns.

*i have a tendency to make up profanities when speaking of someone/thing i highly dislike. it's highly enjoyable, i find. try it sometime.

starshine

what a good day.

scratch that. what a GREAT day. some drama ish started to hit the fan, but i am far beyond the point of caring. all i know is that i've got sunshine in a bag; i'm happy.

1. i got an 87% on the calculus test. eighty-seven percent. that's a personal best.

2. we kicked ass in humanities, part 2. apparently it's funny that i was alecto, the angry fury.

"and i am alecto, the goddess known for her unceasing anger!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

3. i got paid for two spanish tutoring sessions, and consequently FINALLY:

4. paid off my remaining debt!

so you're talking to a mathie, angry, debt-free happy girl.

how are YOU?

i can't believe i forgot:

i am also called mooster.

so... can i have my christmas present now?

suck, suck, suck.

my name is today and i just plain suck.

but at least i don't have much homework.

my cousin who lives in new york sent me a funny note and some pokemon stuff today, plus an avenue q magnet that i couldn't find while visiting. yaaaaaay!

tomorrow equals movies at usf. excited? i think so.

sweeney is coming over in a little bit, so i should probably get some homework out of the way, though i doubt i will.

i guess it wasn't really that bad.

a day for the birds

i don't know anymore. maybe it was all just a dumb idea that was blown up too big too fast. i think i may go back on everything i said.

how was your day? i wrote a much better and more uplifting post earlier in the afternoon, but it would neither save nor publish and is now forever lost.

boo hoo.

this is your consolation prize. thank you for reading the blog of maggie fudgecow.

it seems as though i will be going to gainesville the first weekend of spring break. beach, tans, no school for a week... i can't wait.

i can't write. this sucks. goodnight.

what a terrific day

and it seems as though it will only get better.

tonight i'm going out to karaoke with some friends to ward off any chance of self-pity, though i must return earlier than i originally hoped to study for a titanic-sized calculus test tomorrow.

eep.

but with the way things have gone so far today, tonight promises to be just as wonderful.

i hope everyone else had an amazing valentine's day. if you didn't, call me asap and i'll do my best to cheer you up (yes. i really am in that good of a mood that i have happiness to spare.).

i love you!

afternoon delight

i've had such a busy day, and i feel as though i haven't accomplished a single thing. some the day's efforts may or may not show up at school tomorrow, but if you see me in the morning, stop me because i just might have a present for you (yes, YOU!).

today:
7:30 - woke up, took a shower
9:00 - church
10:30 - humanities project at sweeney's
12:30 - store for eggs (see two lines down)
1:30 - grad party meeting
3:00 - made a billion cookies
3:10 - mindy over! surprise!
3:30 - still making a billion cookies
4:30 - made valentines for parents
5:30 - fixed rita's dinner
6:00 - began psychology essays
6:30 - quit and went online
now - craving coffee while talking about boys and wondering if i should wear pink tomorrow (currently voting yea.)

all in all, it was a pleasantly busy day. tomorrow should be wonderful, also, and if it's not, at least i'm not going to be watching anchorman.

have a beautiful evening, lovelies.

perfect

"so far,
i still know who you are,
but now i wonder who i was."

a first love is the most unique love you will ever experience. it makes you so happy and so sad at the same time, but when you're with the one you first gave your heart to, they make you feel like you couldn't be more

"perfect
strangers down the line,
lovers out of time,
memories unwind..."

i know that i've grown up since then, and he's not the same, i'm sure. i feel like if we had only met a year later, things would have been different.

and yet, it couldn't have been more perfect the way it was.

"angel, you know it's not the end.
we'll always be good friends;
the letters have been sent on."

it's someone you will never forget, this first love. you may want to more than anything in the world, but you can never completely leave it behind. you may find yourself wondering on a saturday night just how it is that you could still be the same as you were together as you are apart, though years and countless influences have changed you.

but no matter what,

"perfect -
you know this has to be."

as taken from x:

Name: maggie
Nicknames: maggs, magpie, doodle, and the latest: maggie lynn
Birthday: may 12, 1987
Birthplace: cleveland, oh

=Now=

Current mood: happy
Current music: hey mercedes "slightest idea"
Current taste: my mouth
Current hair: in a sloppy bun
Current clothes: pajama pants and a psu shirt (i know, i know.)
Current annoyance: light from the screen, oddly enough
Current smell: living room
Current thing I ought to be doing: sleeping
Current windows open: the one next to me that you're apparently looking through.
Current desktop picture: creek in erie
Current favorite band/group: i'll take ben kweller for 500
Current book: fighting on two fronts, unfortunately
Current cd in stereo: smashing pumpkins
Current favorite celeb: none
Current hate: i'm happy, fool.

=Do I=

Smoke?: no
Do drugs?: no
Remember your first love?: how could i forget?
Still love him/her?: always will
Read the newspaper?: no
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: yes
Believe in miracles?: yes
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: in actions, but not in thought.
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: depends on my mood, so i'll go with no.
Consider love a mistake?: never
Like the taste of alcohol?: yes
Have a favorite candy?: CHOCOLATE.
Believe in astrology?: of course it exists
Believe in magic?: no
Believe in God?: yes
Have any pets?: two cats
Go to or plan to go to college?: go gators!
Have any piercings?: five
Have any tattoos?: no
Hate yourself?: i try not to
Have an obsession?: several
Have a secret crush?: do i ever not?
Do they know yet?: highly unlikely
Have a best friend?: there a several who i am really close to, but dream probably hears most of my crap, so i'm going with agent park.
Wish on stars?: yes, though i know nothing comes from wishing.
Care about looks?: too much

=Love life=

First crush: in kindergarten, jason something-or-other. his grandmother knitted me mittens.
First kiss: during the end credits of the majestic. in the words of bono, "oh, the sweetest thing."
Single or attached?: so single it's gross.
Ever been in love?: again, yes.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: i believe in strong attraction, but not love at first sight.
Do you believe in "the one?": less and less. you can make nearly anybody your one if you try hard enough. hence, divorce court.
Describe your ideal significant other: humorous, witty, can hold a good and naturally-flowing conversation, and smart. i don't care about money, cars, or clothes, but i prefer (though do not require) tall guys that are well-traveled and/or enjoy excursions. complete laziness is not acceptable, and gentlemanliness and creativity are always pluses.

=Juicy stuff=

Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: no. i'm a prude.
Have you ever been intoxicated?: yes
Favorite place to be kissed?: lips would be logical.
Have you ever been caught "doing something?": ...define "something."
Are you a tease?: not that i'm aware of. are you?
Shy to make the first move?: me? shy? ...of course.

=Word association=

Rubber: vietnam
Rock: star
Green: with purple passionate blues
Wet: dog
Cry: spy
Peanut: man
Hay: stack
Cold: ice
Steamy: steam?
Fast: race
Freaky: mama
Rain: shower
Bite: snake
Blow: job (thanks chris.)
Religion: job (still stuck on it)


--APPEARANCE:--
Hair: light brown
Eyes: blue
Height: 5'8' funny you should ask now that you know who my ideal mate is.

--LAST THING YOU:--
Bought: crush soda (a mere slip of paper, to be precise)
Ate & Drank: advantage bar and hazelnut coffee from panera.
Read: "read"
Watched on tv: what not to wear

--EITHER / OR:--
club or houseparty: houseparty, considering i can't do the latter
beer or cider: beer
drinks or shots: depends on who's present
cats or dogs: cats
single or taken: you're mean.
pen or pencil: pen
gloves or mittens: gloves
food or candy: food
cassette or cd: cd
coke or pepsi: poopsi
this or that: the other

--WHO DO YOU WANT TO:--
kill: the olsen twins and ----- ----- (guess correctly and i'll tie a ribbon in your hair) (and no, it's not james hogan)
get really wasted with: anyone i'm already friends with.
look like: i wouldn't recognize myself if i looked like someone else.
be like: a better person
avoid: terrizia ferrer (?) and anyone else who pisses me off


-LAST PERSON YOU--
talked to: my mom
hugged: dream
instant messaged: dream again


--WHERE DO YOU--
eat: at home?
cry: alone
wish you were: here i suppose


--HAVE YOU EVER...--
Dated one of your best friends? i've dated someone who turned into a best friend.
Loved somebody so much it makes you cry? yes
Drank alcohol? yes
Done drugs? again, no
Broken the law? yes
Run away from home? no
Broken a bone? no
Played Truth Or Dare? who hasn't?
Kissed someone you didn't know? on the cheek.
Been in a fight? no. i'm SO peaceful.
Come close to dying? no


--WHAT IS:--
The most embarrassing CD in your collection?: nsync chat series.
Your bedroom like?: neat and messy at the same time
Your favorite thing for breakfast? ick. nothing.
Your favorite restaurant?: applebees (oriental chicken roll-up, sans chicken)


--RANDOM QUESTIONS--
What's on your bedside table?: pink carnations, burts bees, and some pictures of things that no one would find funny but myself and those posed in them (namely, dana and my sis).
What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?: muenster cheese or chick peas.
What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?: steel magnolias and the notebook (second one isn't much of a secret, though)
If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?: nose job.
What is your biggest fear?: being a bitch and people readily admitting it, though i suppose i'm not so much afraid of that as anticipating it.
What feature are you most insecure about?: nearly everything, plus voice (talking and singing)
Do you ever have to beg?: um...?
Are you a pyromaniac?: me? fire? HELLO!
Do you have too many love interests?: no way, jose.
Crushes?: what about him?
Do you know anyone famous?: several, and share blood with two.
Describe your bed: cold at the moment.
Spontaneous or plain?: spontaneous
Do you know how to play poker?: yes, but can't
What do you carry with you at all times?: underwear, but i guess that isn't really carried so much as worn. lip gloss, too (carried + worn).
How do you drive?: not well, apparently.
What do you miss most about being little?: ignorance and grandparents.
Are you happy with your given name?: i vote no.
How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?: it's too convenient, aim and e-mail aside; but $50,000 would suffice. i'll take cash, thank you.
What was the last song you were listening to?: go back 892389382 questions
Have you ever been in a play?: two.
Who are your best friends?: i dont want to leave someone out, so i won't answer
Do you talk a lot?: if i know you or like you.
Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?: sometimes and sometimes.
Do you think you're cute?: i've been told i'm pretty, but i don't have a high opinion of my physical self.
Do poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?: what an odd question.
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?: no.
Do you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or your friends?: friends win by default. and i hate you.
What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or lesbians holding hands?: "did i just see that? oh yeah; they're allowed to."

strange note to end on.

request for an early death

me: president's day. there's a day for white people in february.
[censor]: but it's still black history month.
me: then why pick february?
[censor]: because it's short.

valentine's day

i realize this post is premature, but i felt like writing it tonight.

if you aren't in a relationship or can't find a date, the day is not only pointless but pretty damn depressing.

everyone is completely (or mostly, anways) absorbed in themselves and their other half, and you, oh god of being without, must submit to being exposed all day to the excessive kissing and exaggerated acts of love and kindness between desperate male and rosy-cheeked female.

it's almost sickening if you don't have anyone. granted, i've only been in a relationship come february fourteenth twice in my short life, but it sucks ass when you know how great the day can be if you've got someone special to share it with.

this year, i don't really care what people think. every other idiot who doesn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend - gay or straight - is my valentine.

that's right. i said it.

you've got a friend in me, buddy, because i am not - i repeat - am NOT going to let it be a shitty day.

so singles of tampa, happy valentine's day in advance. i love you, and i hope you aren't mad that i've claimed you regardless of your consent.

EVERYTHING!

since i suck so much at updating, i'll do a dream post today:

happy birthday, burp! i've really had a great junior and senior year (so far) with you as my friend. you've been there when i was down and doubting myself, and you helped me retain my sanity when i was sure i would lose it. you're beautiful, smart, and so very pianically talanted. i love you, and i hope your day is amazing!

in the words of a true friend:

"You make me smile when I want to cry out in despair (That sounds pretty damn dramatic, but I can't think of anything not gay at the moment)."

eep!

i wanted to say that. "eep!" doesn't actually have anything to do with this post.

quite the contrary - i have nothing of great interest to report. school is dragging on, but it's almost the weekend already. i have a possible party and garden state to look forward to, not to mention my terrific job.

i am nearly not in debt. i should be completely paid up by this time next week, but we shall see. money has a tendency to disappear when i'm in charge of it, like my ability to drive when i'm behind the wheel.

on grading essays in english: nobody really knows how to write. it saddens me so.

my craving for spearmint gum has been subdued for the time being. i've still got 35 more pieces to go until i can't stand it for another three years. mmm.

seeing as i really don't have anything to say, i'll stop here.

or will i?

...yes.