also, if you sign up for anything that requires the use of your mothers credit card, debit card, or checking account information, be prepared to be brutally murdered, as it is quite easy to register but impossible to remove yourself from the records.

the sun is shining bright and happy, and its freezing. its cool that the seasons are changing, and now its almost not-summer.

in case any of you were wondering, i. hate. school. i mean, come on, academics. take her easy, now.

granted, my sitting here typing will not get my homework done.

meh.

im taking the sat next saturday morning. hopefully ill be able to find king. thats what you get for signing up on the last possible date. as kj says, procrastinate now (though if you think about it, that statement doesnt really make sense.).

as i write this, the peter pan kids are learning me about frosty the snowman. truly, i do believe he was a jolly, happy soul. they also state that they love snow. see? "i LOVE snow. i LOOOOOVE snow. la, da, daaaaa. i love iiiiit sooooo."

jim rapped today. here are his prophetical words of wisdom:
"my name is jim, i like to rap//among other thing cause i also like to eat...not crap//i like to eat yoyoyo//i eat things on the go//don't give me no talk 'bout cholesteral//i like bar-b-qued chicken the best of all//end"

thats all for today. adios.

today (still in saturday mode) was nothing special. something FREEZING, but nothing special.

unless having the longest hangnail in the history of the world counts.

i have to present my engineering project next week. im not concerned. the last time i didnt worry about a project, i got myself an a+, so im hoping that will work again.

then again, i hoped it would rain noodles today. no such luck.

probably the uncoolest thing ever is realizing that you will never again work in the morning on a saturday as long as you live. no joke, my friends. i have missed work every other week (or was graciously rescheduled for an evening shift) for over a month now, so that i am stuck forever on the 2 - 9:30 plan. thank you, terri. i love how i have no idea where you were imported from.

a new place opened up recently. let me show you what i left on the table this afternoon:

dear firehouse subs:
yum.
not.
love, maggie.

then i thought about things and realized i missed my sister, so i wrote her a love note:

dear erin:
ill cut you.
love, maggie.

so that was my day. i leave you with a word of advice: if you dont want your opponent to guess your word for hangman, i suggest using "gastropoda." i didnt get it even after all the letters were filled in.

this is idiot, signing out.

nine minutes to update, and then im off to work.

today, i followed in the pursuit of many americans and, well, shopped. the only people i have left to buy presents for are alicia and my mom. horray for organization.

the day was absolutely wonderful up until it began to rain. then it became perfect. tomorrow its supposed to actually feel like late november, so im pretty excited about that (you can tell my social activities have been lacking when i think about the weather.).

my friends, the advantage of having a four-item christmas list is getting all four items.

surprisingly, last night i watched the whole of the second lord of the rings movie. i. love. link.

it hasnt been quite nine minutes, but im out of things to say.

war and ricecakes.

the sun is shining so bright and cozy today. im feeling a lot better about things.

i have decided that this thanksgiving, i am the most thankful for God in my life, my friends, and my family. im thankful for God because He has blessed me infinitely and given me His love; for my friends for helping me through the hard times, even though they knew nothing (or close to nothing) of my situation (real friends will support you when they dont even know anything is wrong.); and my family because my sister holds my hand during the Our Father, my dad calls me "pie," and my mom can compare my massive bruise to spilled grape jelly without my getting pissed off.

i feel an incredible sense of belonging when i am with the aforementioned people-slash-being.

thanks to everyone who reads this for putting up with my bovine feces. i love you guys, and i mean it more than i mean pi is 3.14.

speaking of which, call me if you want some. pie, that is. three is far too much for a family of five.

i hope everyone has a wonderful day, and i hope its just as sunny at your house as it is at mine.

the pity party is over.

my sister comes home tonight.

new pity party.

just kidding.

somewhat.

anywho, the weather outside is absolutely delightful. yesterday it was gray and misty all day. i hearted it with all my heart. today it is sunny, and i have yet to step outside. hopefully the cool air is still hanging around.

dream is funny.

are there any lyrics to "louie, louie?"

probably the funnest thing in the world is dusting.

i get to go to the movies today with puff, so im pretty excited.

however, im also pretty stinky, so i need to shower.

until next time, adieu.

"to everything there is a season,
and ours has come and gone."

you are not who i thought you were. youre just like everyone else. i cant believe i was so blind to it, and now im only numb from it.

"nothing matters anymore,
and i cant wish anymore."

its not that i feel as empty as i did before. i just feel... well... left out. but im alright with that; ill be ok.

"call 911. im already dead, but someone should be held responsible for this -
this bloody mess."

its like a volcano was lying dormant inside of me for the first sixteen years of my life. but now it has erupted, and with it every degree of hopelessness has poured forth. i feel like a memory to you.

"...and the way you look tonight."

but i wont forget it. not a single moment of it. not the car rides or the car shows, not the smiles or the calls, not the ice or the fire, not the laughter or the tears, not the growing up or the growing away.

"in case youre wondering,
this songs about growing up."

so heres to all the stars that laughed and all the stars that cried. heres to the willows and the winds and the headlights. heres to kisses and bubble gum and youth.

in other words, heres to you.

(laugh. it couldnt possibly make things worse, and it should seem funny to you.)

top story of the day: doodle fell down the stairs. it was actually more like plunged down the stairs. either way, i have a huge welt on my leg to remind me of that happy little incident. even if i didnt, dana would be sure to keep the story alive.

it was right after school, so there were a lot of other students walking down the stairs. i lost my footing, thought "im going to fall now," and proceeded to fall. except i didnt stop there. i continued to tumble down five more stairs (yes, it hurt.). when about half of the falling was over with, i saw a black umbrella shoot past me and fall to the landing below. when the stairs ended, i found myself sprawled with my backpack on my side and my folders, miraculously, still in my hands. a girl came up to me (while dana choked on her laughter), picked up her purse (the "umbrella," which dana, afterwards, told me i threw.), and asked if i was ok.

man, i was laughing too hard to answer her.

so thats my funniness for the day.

i had no idea it was friday until someone told me that it was. this happened in homeroom. the rest of my day was pretty dern good after that.

also, amber equals rock. she was the best little pocahantas ive ever seen. she can kick disneys bottom any day.

andrew suggested using a cat for my led case. i suggested otherwise.

speaking of cats, mine is doing that really cute thing cats do when they clean their faces. she went to put her front leg on the back of her head and accidentally got her ear stuck inside-out. silly mins.

and now that im out of intersting things to say, i shall leave you with a quote from the skunk and the beaver:

"ive been around the world and im goin' again."
"hambone."

have you ever said something, and immediately after you said it you wished you could pull the words out of the air and swallow them whole? i have. not today though.

the weather is royally kicking.

and i am totally going to be late to ambers debut if i dont hustle my arse.

adios.

ive got ten minutes to fill you in on a very uneventful day, so here i go:

fbi agents are very loud and i never want to be an engineer. ever.

i sold all of my candy.

all of my friends are gorgeous.

amasmete means nothing in spanish. absolutely nothing.

and those are the lame proceedings of my day.

much love and stuff.

seventy points for dream for not coming to school on a schutz-quiz day. that ought to put her ahead of everyone in the world.

bit of irony for the day: dana got her class ring, and kim lost her opal one. guitar for dana. sucks for kim.

my camera is lost forever. i am now left with jessica helms homecoming pictures. at least i still have the shot of matt hanging with john paul.
"ask the pope a question."
"pope, will we ever get back to the hotel?"
[shake.]
"pope says, 'ask again later.'"

carrots, handbags, cheese.

makeup work is totally the worst idea ever.

so i gave in and im going to tutor kid number one again next week. but i swear, if he doesnt know his "nunca" and "ser" and "estudiar" and "con" by next week, nunca seria estudiar con se.

pat from the american veterans association called. she will call back later.

i wore my shirt from bismarck today, but only my "throw me at a fur-wearer" sticker was noticed. i wonder why.

they say that jelly bracelts equal sex. ive got to hand it to them: middle schoolers are a lot more promiscuous now than when i wandered among them.

by the way, this is me doing my homework.

they also say they bought me christmas presents. interesting, considering i have expressed an interest in nothing. im thinking calendar. definately a calendar.

so now that weve discussed a lot, im out.

in the words of general jihad, peace and cheesecakes.

quiz fun in analysis of functions tomorrow. guess who should be studying right now?

so ncyc was a kaboom. my friends wrote me notes in my absence, which i thought was schpiffy. i traded like a madwoman, and now im two shirts the richer. also, everyone is from minnesota - everyone in the world.

mr. schutz almost wasnt at school today, but then he was.

i just printed my homework on the stationary my dad uses for sending letters to his mamacita. mr. mccoole may appreciate autumn leaves. then again, he may not. im betting on the latter.

second time ive seen the word "latter" today.

clap your hands if youre tired.

my undone homework is burning a hole in my backpack. id be tempted to let that happen, were it not sitting on my bed.

"and ill hang around as long as you will let me,
and i never minded standin' in the rain.
you dont have to call me darlin', darlin';
you never even call me by name."

dear all of my suffering friends:
apathy is a wonderful alternative. and my sister is a big 'mo.
love, maggie

tomorrow i am leaving for texas. whos excited? this girl right here. i was sent away from school this afternoon with "bye, maggie. have fun learning about the Lord!"

i went jihad on my english project today. i didnt use even one "like" while presenting. it. was. awesome.

the weather today was spectacular.

i almost died laughing when the neighbors ran into their concrete mailbox yesterday. instead of going on with life, the guy went inside to get out his son/cousin/father/uncle/sister to think about what happened. they stood in the driveway for ten minutes contemplating it before the world began to revolve again.

check it out: i got a postcard today for a cow down ("no cows. just fun!"). chicken sandwiches will be provided by chick-fil-a, in case you were concerned.

and now the time has come for me to leave you for a few days.
to dream: endure! jihad!
to andrew: i will find the place where olsen was shot at and bring it back with me.
to erin: dont say "faggot" until i come back.
to whoever else still reads this: you still owe me five bucks.

adieu.

"i woke up today with a cupful of sunshine on my nightstand and a hope in my heart.
it was the first time in a long time.
it was heaven."

for all of my friends who are suffering, the sun will shine again. i promise, or you get the nevsimal refund, only its the kennedy refund because i am no nevsimal.

i love you, funny bunny!

and for all those who royally suck:

thank you for making me cry.

i hate you.

you know who you are.

and to all of my friends:

thank you for putting up with me. i know im moody and i know i suck. thanks for not ditching me. i love you.

well, most of you.

so this past week was filled with studying, studying, and studying. when i wasnt studying, i was busy studying. needless to say, i didnt get a chance to update you on my trivial joys, triumphs, hardships, and woes. i would like to take this opportunity to fill you in on the highlights of the previous week (in no particular order):

friday:
retaking the analysis of functions test was an incredibly wonderful idea.

tuesday:
"we should have a free day."
"free day? free week."
"i concur."

tuesday:
"mrs. pardo, i dont understand: review and asses...?"
"review and assess."

sometime a few months before last week:
"do you have any broaches?"
"broaches? im afraid im not sure what a broach is, maam."
"HA, HA, HA, HA, H- a pin."

saturday:
"hey, barbie. plans have changed. would you like to go to hell?"

sometime that was neither this week nor last:
jim to ricky, on why ricky should not try to pull jims "hey, you have something on your shirt. hyoooo!" stunt: "no, ricky! dont do it! shell bite you!"
me: "[bite, bite.]"
ricky: "hey. thats kind of sexy."
me: "[shuts mouth. forever.]"

another from sometime that was neither this week nor last:
graham: "hey, phil!"
phil: "."
graham: "oh. youre probably counting, arent you?"
phil: "."
graham: "ill bet youll get in trouble if you talk, because then youll mess up the beat and be screwed."
phil: "."
graham: "so basically, i could say anything i want and you cant do a thing about it."
phil: "."
sweeney: "were gonna go sit down."
graham: "bye, phil."

today:
"are you busy tomorrow?"
"no. do you want to do something?"
"yeah. i was thinking we could have lunch or brunch. something with an 'unch' in it."

wednesday:
"why are you going to hooston, doodle?"

and this concludes our broadcast day.

ps: ncyc esta mi amor.

the people across the street are moving. i hope they dont forget to pack their common sense. of which they have none.

tutoree number one was a failure. im about to quit him. why waste your time on someone who wont even study? boy, i tell you...

today is my parents twenty-fourth anniversary. aaw.

check it: luis is trying to be nice to me. pitiful, isnt it?

but on the subject of homecoming, wooooooooooooooooo-ee! i had me a rootin', tootin', rowdy good time, chuckleberry! i danced my pants off, which really isnt much of a surprise, considering i went sans pants.

dana wound up in a poo hole and showed up around 5:45. to make things peachier, our reservations were lost in the bowels of el beppo. dana was about to rip someone a second butthole, but then her mom biotched at the hostess (long story on why she was there) (not really. i just wanted to say that because i thought it would be less typing because these nails are driving me crazy. of course, i couldve typed the story ten times over by now, but thats not the point.) (...of which i have none.) and we were seated pronto. next to five empty tables. that we couldve been sitting in thirty minutes earlier.

at the dance, i, well, danced. i stepped in some wettness and some stickiness, but no matter - a good time was had by all. everyone got a kick out of jims crazy gyrations ("jims gyrations" sounds like some kind of burrito shack in the middle of nowhere, texas.).

afterwards, we got drunk and drove all around town. i even whored myself on nebraska (pictures to be posted at a later date.).

or we went to ihop and i ordered a smiley face pancake. yum.

yesterday, i went to the mall with alicia. we saw runaway jury. i figured out the plot without looking it up online.

today was meh, then yay, then blah, then major blah, then blah to the millionth power, then yay to the billionth power. got that?

dream licked her elbow again today. i love dream.

and now i must go for fear of being beheaded. adieu.

tonight is the homecoming dance. whos excited? this girl right here.

im going to pick up jims flower (lets just call it a bout for short, mainly because i cant spell the whole word.) as soon as my dad gets back.

at 2:30, im getting a pretty little updo. this my mother will oversee.

jim will be here by 5:00, and around 5:15 dana will arrive. well take some pictures before the sun goes down, and then hang out here until about 6:00. then its off to buca for a 6:30 dinner reservation. that gets us to the dance around 8:30, which is as close to fashionably late as i will ever come.

i shall then procede to have fun and forget all about my camera until five minutes before midnight, a time at which i shall demand that my friends pose as i maniacally finish two rolls of film.

if all goes right, paul simon, we will not make a new plan, stan.

my dad is here, so im out. adieu.

(amber: no.)

ghs: -270
hhs: 5,002
and this concludes our broadcast day.