my sister turns twenty-one tomorrow, but since i may not be able to update (and since the real party starts at midnight, and since i already wrote this once and it was deleted), i shall do my dedication now.

"erin. oh. i heard about her. her parents think she's still too young to make a pizza..."

exscuse me, 'scuse me! i said, "listen up!"

...

thank you, strawberry puppy.

now, where was i? oh, right. i was going to call me a cab. "hey, man. you're a cab." "i hmm have a hmm hunch that this is going to hmm be a very something yaddy yadda." talkin' 'bout joy! midnight says hi: "mrow!" [giggle, giggle.] so does the kitty in the teapot (poor guy!).

ok. so here's the deal: i already got you a present, but i figured you'd like a nice smack in the tooth with the noodle-pot. in case you still aren't satisfied, i can step on your foot and give you a baseball bruise, and then slam your face in the door (which, i swear, never happened).

still not pleased? well, too bad, 'cause ya retaaded!

mister chellini! you don't say it - you SING it! chelllllEEEneee!

hey. remember that time that we broke up before the prom and you told everyone that i was gay? ok. just checking.

"i see yeeves of greeEEN! frowers, too! YA YA YA!"

"mawwage... is for all those who wanna peanut."

"he lives in you! [bed-flip] (heya! in de meadow! heya!) [crash] he lives in me! (heya! in de meadow! he-..." "GIRLS?! WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?!" "TEE HEE HEE! POOP!"

"bu-hut, ouh - those su-hummer niiiii-hiiiiiiiiiights!"

i bought you a giant microbe for your birfday. happy? ...damn. i guess i should've lugged home the arielle rock instead.

mom might make you something - dare i say it? - DELICIOUS when we come up on sunday, but only if you promise not to say "faggot." ok, faggot? did ya herrd me, faggot? alright, faggot. maybe if you ask real nice, she'll make you pancakes, you toad-faced frump.

have fun consuming alcohol, and i'll have fun watching lifetime .

love and kisses,
dood

[well, bless your heart!]