Relient upon nothing.

And I won't sit back
And take this anymore.
Because I'm done with that;
I've got one foot out the door.
And to go back where I was would just be wrong;
I'm pressing on.

Jump-rope cable

I like today. Rainy, but not very sunny. Makes for a nicer temperature than most days.

Oh, shit. I'm talking about the weather. Slap me. Slap me now.

Tomorrow we're getting our tickets for Saturday's game, and then it's off to class in this incredibly taxing schedule of mine.

...Joke.

I really don't have much else to say. What's new with YOU?

This isn't grammared right.

So it's time to own up and start using capital letters every now and then. You know, like when a letter should be capitalized.

I really don't know what to say here. I would say it if I knew what to think, but I don't know what to think anymore about pretty much anything you can think of to think of. I wish things like this wouldn't happen to me, but the only thing I can think of (and have a certain opinion on) is that there is a great Fate Magnet of Destruction floating around in the Great Unknown and it has somehow channeled all of its energy toward me.

Good God. Why does this always happen?

No, I will NOT clarify, either, because this is mine and I don't wanna. So neah.

what a pretty day.

things are going pretty well in g-vizzle. i can't say that i miss high school now that i've gotten a taste of being a college student. not to say that i don't miss certain people or daily occurences, but it's nice making your own schedule and deciding NOT to follow it if indeed that suits your little fancy.

anyways, it's a really nice saturday. and about time we got some rilo kiley up in this joint!:

there are no bad words for the coast today.
when we hold our breath until nothing's left
it all starts to fade.

we can see the stars
from where the birds make their homes
staring back at us.
indifferent
but distanced perfectly,
projected endlessly;
it's so f--king beautiful.

!!!

i can't express to you how much i love college.

yes; that's all i'm going to say.

build me up, buttercup.

so, the rushing part of rush was hilarious. it was just as i had imagined. i didn't see anyone trip, though; that was the only thing that didn't match up.

somone is cooking down the hall and it smells heavenly.

i'm really excited for tomorrow. classes begin and i'll get to meet a whole bunch of new faces. it's going to be great! balogna shoes and all.

i rearranged my half of the room a bit. i like it better now. less wiring to be seen. probably a tremendous fire hazzard, but it looks like broward is the unlucky building of choice this year so i think i'm in the clear. also got the blue rope lights put up - the ones g-bizzle gave me for my birthday. may have to buy some more the next time one of us goes to target (me or jess, that is) to make the whole room bright and gay.

i think that's got to be one of the worst names to have in this day and age - gay.

met some more cool people last night, and hopefully will do it again later on. but this time not at the sooooooooda pop shop.

that's all for now. don't cry for me, argentina.

quickie:

yesterday was dayful. there's much more to be said on that, but i think this whole college thing is going to work out juuuuust fine.

i'm ready for classes - i've got all my books AND my thinking cap. i only need to figure out where they actually are. that may be beneficial.

i don't have much else for now. mother dearest is calling.

Really Long Survey (over 200)
Created by starsbleed2nite and taken 118162 times on Bzoink
What is your name?	maggie
Are you named after anyone?	saint margaret mary (s. euclid, ohio)
What's your screename?	funmaggs
Would you name a child of yours after you?	no
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?	according to my parents, matthew. if i was choosing, ben.
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?	dream
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?	cennedy. no, i'm not joking.
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?	it's what MAKES me famous.
Basics
Your gender:	girly
Straight/Gay/Bi:	straight
Single?	perpetually
If not, do you want to be?	the answer is longer than one word, so i'll spare you.
Birthdate:	5.12.87
Your age:	18
Age you act:	25
Age you wish you were:	14
Your height:	5'8
Eye color:	blue
Happy with it?	wish they were brighter
Hair color:	light brown/dark blonde
Happy with it?	it looks right on me, but will probably dye it soon.
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:	righty
Your living arrangement:	JENNINGS
Your family:	is dysfunctional
Have any pets?	two cats
Whats your job?	nothing at the moment
Piercings?	5
Tattoos?	none yet
Obsessions?	millions
Addictions?	one
Do you speak another language?	i'd say yes.
Have a favorite quote?	"the greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved."
Do you have a webpage?	you're looking at it.
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?	i'd like to.
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?	depends on your definition of "others"
Do you have any secrets?	several
Do you hate yourself?	no
Do you like your handwriting?	yes
Do you have any bad habits?	yes
What is the compliment you get from most people?	that i have nice eyes or straight teeth.
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?	the diary of a mad black woman
What's your biggest fear?	confrontation
Can you sing?	no, but i do it anyways
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?	too often
Are you a loner?	yes
What are your #1 priorities in life?	good question. we'll see.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?	yeah. because i'd be just like me.
Are you a daredevil?	depends on the exact situation.
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?	addictive personality and apathy
Are you passive or agressive?	passively aggressive
Do you have a journal?	several
What is your greatest strength and weakness?	a strength: doing impressions. a weakness: hypocrisy.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?	care less about destructive criticism received.
Do you think you are emotionally strong?	yeah.
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?	i regret the chances i was too timid to take. i also regret never calling jen when she was pregnant. i regret finding facebook; it consumes my heart and soul.
Do you think life has been good so far?	yes.
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?	don't make an idiot out of yourself for someone who won't come around, friend or otherwise.
What do you like the most about your body?	hands
And least?	calves
Do you think you are good looking?	when i make an effort to do so.
Are you confident?	i'm not afraid to act how i feel.
What is the fictional character you are most like?	francie nolan from a tree grows in brooklyn
Are you perceived wrongly?	i'm sure someone gets a wrong impression.
Do You...
Smoke?	no
Do drugs?	no
Read the newspaper?	no
Pray?	yes
Go to church?	to be determined
Talk to strangers who IM you?	yes
Sleep with stuffed animals?	no. they sleep in the chair, silly.
Take walks in the rain?	no, but i would.
Talk to people even though you hate them?	only when forced.
Drive?	yes.
Like to drive fast?	yes.
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?	no.
Hurt yourself?	yes.
Been out of the country?	yes.
Eaten something that made other people sick?	yes.
Been in love?	yes.
Done drugs?	no.
Gone skinny dipping?	no.
Had a medical emergency?	no.
Had surgery?	oral.
Ran away from home?	no.
Played strip poker?	no.
Gotten beaten up?	no.
Beaten someone up?	not yet.
Been picked on?	yes.
Been on stage?	yes.
Slept outdoors?	yes.
Thought about suicide?	yes. BUT HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER ACT ON IT.
Pulled an all nighter?	no.
If yes, what is your record?	---
Gone one day without food?	yes.
Talked on the phone all night?	yes.
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?	yes.
Slept all day?	no.
Killed someone?	why, yes.
Made out with a stranger?	yes.
Had sex with a stranger?	no.
Thought you're going crazy?	yes.
Kissed the same sex?	in a non-sexual way.
Done anything sexual with the same sex?	no.
Been betrayed?	yes.
Had a dream that came true?	yes. figuratively and literally.
Broken the law?	yes.
Met a famous person?	yes.
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?	hahahah! no.
On purpose?	HAHAHAH! no.
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?	yes.
Stolen anything?	yes.
Been on radio/tv?	yes.
Been in a mosh-pit?	no.
Had a nervous breakdown?	yes.
Bungee jumped?	no.
Had a dream that kept coming back?	yes.
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?	yes.
Miracles?	yes.
Astrology?	i happen to know for a fact that people do actually study the stars.
Magic?	no.
God?	yes.
Satan?	yes.
Santa?	no.
Ghosts?	yes.
Luck?	no.
Love at first sight?	yes.
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?	yes.
Witches?	no.
Easter bunny?	no.
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?	for some.
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?	no.
Do you wish on stars?	yes.
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?	yes.
Do you think God has a gender?	no.
Do you believe in organized religion?	...
Where do you think we go when we die?	up or down. or in between.
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?	yes.
Who is your best friend?	i have several. those that know me best are erin, alicia, jess, and dream.
Who's the one person that knows most about you?	ironic, isn't this? tie between erin (she's known me longest and we relate. literally.) and alicia.
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?	it's not the advice so much as the unconditional surrender of a friend's own well-being to help you gain yours back.
Your favourite inside joke?	talent show.
Thing you're picked on most about?	even steven.
Who's your longest known friend?	carla anderson
Newest?	sammy
Shyest?	kim. ...until you get to know her.
Funniest?	fudge and jim
Sweetest?	dream
Closest?	alicia
Weirdest?	laura
Smartest?	james
Ditziest?	alicia
Friends you miss being close to the most?	amber
Last person you talked to online?	ewin
Who do you talk to most online?	andrew
Who are you on the phone with most?	mom
Who do you trust most?	carri
Who listens to your problems?	whoever i say!
Who do you fight most with?	i try not to.
Who's the nicest?	christy
Who's the most outgoing?	sweeney and paige
Who's the best singer?	dream and amber
Who's on your shit-list?	you
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?	yes
Who's your second family?	hussins
Do you always feel understood?	no
Who's the loudest friend?	carla
Do you trust others easily?	if i need to talk, i talk.
Who's house were you last at?	mine
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in:	...
Do your friends know you?	a few have got my number.
Friend that lives farthest away:	jim
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?	never
What do you find romantic?	not having to say what you know you are both thinking.
Turn-on?	physically, a nice chests and strong arms. i like a guy who can hold an intelligent conversation. quick wit is always a plus, too.
Turn-off?	self-depricating humor.
First kiss?	during the ending credits of the majestic.
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?	awkward if i knew them well.
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going	yes, but i like meeting new people, too.
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out	yes
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv	yes
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?	on occasion
What is best about the opposite sex?	their strength and ability to make up stupid games.
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?	many don't think with the right head.
What's the last present someone gave you?	earrings from my bosses.
Are you in love?	nah.
Do you consider your significant other hot?	i'm single, suckhole.
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?	the ghost of christmas past
You wanted to kill?	i'm not going to lie - george bush.
That you laughed at?	chris.
That laughed at you?	paige probably.
That turned you on?	my baby's daddy
You went shopping with?	chris, andrew, and kim
That broke your heart?	rob
To disappoint you?	jonathan
To ask you out?	matt
To make you cry?	my mom
To brighten up your day?	chas
That you thought about?	well, chas.
You saw a movie with?	oh, boy: maja, andrew, jim, ricky, alise, graham, james, and craig.
You talked to on the phone?	my mom
You talked to through IM/ICQ?	paige
You saw?	paige
You lost?	uncle
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?	obviously not.
Will it be with your significant other?	fuck you.
Or some random person?	and the beat goes on...
What are you wearing right now?	a smile.
Body part you're touching right now:	toes to toes
What are you worried about right now?	nothing. just constantly anxious.
What book are you reading?	none, technically.
What's on your mousepad?	toast
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:	well, like a natural woman.
Are you bored?	i'm filling this out, aren't i?
Are you tired?	no.
Are you talking to anyone online?	no.
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?	no.
Are you lonely or content?	content to be alone for now.
Are you listening to music?	no.
Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to Bzoink

like albert einstein once said...

do you remember thinking, when you were that little, that the time would never come when you'd be ready to move out of the house, away from mommy and daddy and the cute boy you never got the nerve to talk to? do you remember wondering what you'd look like, what you'd believe, what you would and would not have experienced, where you would have traveled, what you would have accomplished?

i used to write myself notes and hide them in my room. i'd come across them a few years down the line. they were always full of girlish dreams i'd forgotten, teacher's i'd come to no longer fear but respect, questions i will always wonder about the future me. i'd always read them, thinking to myself how bored i would be with the answers i so desperately wanted to know at the time. i think we just get used to our lives, and what happens and doesn't happen is not so much of a surprise as it might have been when the situation in question was initially pondered over.

i would love to be able to look at the twelve-year-old me and tell her that i turned out alright, that there's nothing majorly wrong with me, that adolescense will teach me not to cry about friends who aren't there and boys who don't care. i would love to sit down with her, tell her that black coffee isn't all that bad, that her writing may never improve but to never stop regardless, that in her notebooks the voice of a progressively more mature young woman is evident and grows to be more easily recognizeable. i would love to tell her about the things that will happen so she can prepare for them, avoid the things that will hurt her, haunt her, keep her up many nights for fear of making the wrong choice. with life comes regret; don't add extra. stress is inevitable; don't worsen it by dwelling.

there are so many things that go on inside my head sometimes. i always wanted to know about the future, but lately it's been the present that concerns me.

who am i?

eleven to your seven

room is cute. stuff is organized. i don't stink. life is good.

well...

"when you need a friend, don't look to a stranger;
you know in the end, i'll always be there.
but when you're in doubt and when you're in danger,
take a look all around and i'll be there."

some friends you can never really leave. after all is said and done, you've shared too many had-to-be-there laughs, gotten through too many cries, and experienced too many life-changing moments to ever actually lose them.

those few people you will have in your life are the true gems.

nothing!

is what i have done all week. except soothe my soul with unsolved mysteries and other dead-end lifetime programs.

what i wouldn't give for a nice pair of balogna shoes...

kaleidoscope

i feel like the summer has slipped between my fingers. i don't know where i was this entire month, but now it's less than two hours away from being august and it's just occuring to me that this was indeed my last real summer to be here with the people i've always summered with.

i know it sounds stupid, and i also know i can't stop myself from criticizing my own statements, but it's sad in a sweet and unhurting way. i feel like i've made peace with most of the people i'll never be seeing again save for new year's eve parties and accidental run-ins at the mall on holidays.

i'm ok. i really am. there are a few people i'm going to come to miss, but mostly i've already gotten over it. i don't cry much anymore except at the most inopportune moments. for example, the most recent episode i can recall involved me being the only soon-to-be graduate at a particular planning event. i don't get emotional over things that normally upset a person's happiness, but rather am bothered immensely by things that nobody gives a flying fuck about. i'm pretty sure we all have our days, but i just haven't had a good cry in a long, long time.

does that make me heartless? probably, which is why i don't generally do well with children. i'm eighteen and i'm selfish and i truly believe i'm invincible. i don't like to be denied something that i want and when i want something i want it immediately. honestly, i'm too wrapped up in myself to be sad about saying goodbye.

they say the first step is admitting you have a problem, but if you're not hurting, i don't see what's wrong.

little july showers

it's raining right now. i can't help but love it. i've always liked it when it rains, unless i had specific plans to do something that can only be done without it.

that's it. still no remedy.

newsflash!

there are other girls out there with my name. according to facebook, there are seven. while a total of seven maggie kennedys may not seem like a lot to the average joe, when you've never met another person with your name, seven is a lot.

and that's just on facebook. i bet there are enough of me to conquer the world!

butterfly in the expansive sky.

truly, i can go twice as high. take a look, why don't you? it's in a leather-bound book! the reading rainbow. the reading rainbow.

and i'm not even on anything.

the verdict:

teeth are being removed tuesday morning. i have a hunch it won't tickle.

i appologize for the short and highly un-entertaining posts. however, i follow that statement with no remedy.

this is what it comes to:

IMing your sister on a tuesday night as you sit on the old pull-out sofa, knees touching and totally IN THE SAME ROOM AS HER.

i love summer.

nightingale song

and little ever changes if anything at all,
and we remind ourselves how small we are.

i don't know.

that's about it.