on why i love kurreeuns.

dream: i love mr. schutz. i mean... oh, crap.

another rilo kiley fan jumps on the popcorn wagon. anyone else care to join?

it was pretty busy at work and i got kind of sick (physically, emotionally, literally, and every other -lly you can think of) towards the end. just before i was about to lose it, meghan came back and i high-tailed it out of that joint.

that's about all i can say for today. it was great until recently, and i have no idea why.

the cow humped over the moon.

goodbye, ruby tuesday. steinmart loses another one.

i'm terri next week. i need to step-up the complaint level. also, i need to lose about a million pounds and gain a foreign accent.

i'm up for the challenge.

the simon challenge, that is.

dream sure does love boogers.

oh. oh. oh. i can't believe i almost forgot to tell you: john kerry (yes; THE john kerry) sent a handwritten letter to my dad. i feel so special living in a house where a kerry letter resides.

don't you just love election year? the big guys get together and think of brilliant things they can waste their money on, like special fonts that look like handwriting or the most staged kodak moments you'll ever see in your life. we still have the authentic george and laura bush picture they took in front of... someplace, but that won't swing the vote.

did anyone else laugh when they saw that picture on schutz's bulletin board? i nearly peed myself. in fact, i'm pretty sure i did.

i totally had a terrific day.

hi. my name is nonsequential order.

the big n. o.

i want to go home.

when the truth is found to be lies and all the joy within you dies, don't you want somebody to love? don't you need somebody to love? wouldn't you love somebody to love?

you better find somebody to love.

uuuv.

happy birthday to my favorite balls.

raar!

ok.

monday night: saw spiderman dos.   terrific movie.

then the group minus dream went out to steak and shuffle, where andrew gave me janitor bear in the exclusive ecolab series.

tuesday, i knocked out a quarter of the ap european homework in the morning and went to work in the afternoon. rachel visited me and we made plans to do some (not-so) serious packing after i signed out. andrew stopped by later and we chortled over the true purpose of fashion tape.

that night, we threw two vases, a sock, and some bread into the pond at rachel's apartment, and we all discovered andrew cannot spell "murder."

rud rum.

today i took a tour at uf, home of the gators and (hopefully) the future home of me. after the tour, we met up with my sister for an hour or so.

surprise. she's going to california in a week.

i came home and left promptly to buy something neat for graham and something else that's neat for alan. i wonder if it's cool to share your birthday with someone.

sorry for leaving my away message on all day yesterday or monday or whenever that was. i don't think that's a particularly hip thing to do.

also, i will never see alicia again. it seems as though she is permanently on vacation.

if anyone by chance reads this and wants to hang out tonight or tomorrow morning (what am i saying?), let me know. i'm fond of spontaneatousity at the moment.

bye.

what a wonderful day. nothing even happened and it was great.

i love being optimistic.

how about you?

i am such an idiot.

you know what i just realized?

school starts in two weeks.

if you're a complete and utter loser like those nuts who make calendars and believe that the week begins on sunday, then school starts next week.

either way, the summer is over.

100% excited, 50% reluctant.

today was great.

i woke up late, decided that i should get up, and fell back asleep for another hour.

i went outside for a while to soak up the sun and did my nails in this horribly loud shade of red.

i worked with heelarious customers who were afraid to have me ring up their underwear and actually saw a chiuaua that i found to be cute.

meghan was at work, too, and the flavs came by for a bit.

i saw heather dickson and mrs. mccaffery, the latter of which i did not talk to, the former of which i had a pleasant conversation with.

i talked to dream for the entire duration of my break and we laughed about mayors and such.

i came home and ate pudding.

i laughed.

i put my feet on my dad's pillow.

all in all, it was a terrific day.

i had to work in the morning.

semi-cool.

after work, i came home and piddled around, being piddlie and all. i called rachel and we talked and she talked to her mom and i talked to my mom and then we talked some more.

in the end, we wound up renting the butterfly effect, buying some free ice cream, and popping some kettle corn. a fun time was had by all.

were i not so tired at present, i would elaborate and make this a funny entry, but i am tired at present, and this is not a funny entry at all.

so, bye.

it's been a good day, and it's only 2:10 in the afternoon.

this morning, i got up early to fix my schedule, which i didn't wind up fixing at all. i'm going to try to get into ap psychology in place of ap statistics, but of course, everything's still as it was this morning.

after that, i decided to hike down to citrus and check out the upper tampa bay trail. i suggest two pairs of socks for skating.

then i came home and sat outside making vitamin d.

how about you?

close your eyes; think of someone that you loved and trouble not. remember all the joy they brought, for life is full of tears, and like a shot it's soon over, dear, but love is not.

i saw an elderly woman wearing a pink shirt that said "laugh." she had the funniest look on her face, but it sure as hell wasn't laughter.
 
anyways, i bought my homecoming dress.
 
i. love. it.
 
i'm looking forward to trying to match jewelry to it, because unlike last year's fiasco, this time it'll be easy. in fact, i already found AND bought the most bitching pair of earring i've ever seen in my life. another great feature is that it's a halter, so i don't even have to bother trying to get rid of tan lines.
 
like you really cared.
 
now i just need to get him to ask me.

p. s. : anything by linkin park reminds me of david keller.

i'm listening to all the music i loved sophomore year.
 
songs are one of two things that make me remember all sorts of stuff i forget, the other being my silly little sense of smell.
 
for example, i happed upon "i want to hear you sad" by early november.
 
woah. did THAT one throw me for a duzy.
 
that song makes me think about sunshine and teardrops and lonliness.
 
then i listened to "movies" by alien ant farm, a song i don't think i'll ever be able to sit through without crying.
 
well, or at least think about crying.
 
what i get out of that song is that hey - it sucks breaking up, and it's not going to be a happy ending even when you think you want it the most.
 
yeah. that's depressing enough for me.
 
"head over feet" by alanis morissette reminds me of one particular scene. every time i hear that song, i think of fourth grade. i was sitting on my bed with the radio on and had just realized that i left my role mole at church. that was a sad hour to pass.
 
"push" by matchbox twenty is another fourth grade song. i was daydreaming in the middle of the afternoon and the sun was shining in through my window very strong, but i was either too stupid or too lazy to move. the next time i heard it was a few years later. my mom and i were driving home from somewhere. i think i was wearing the green old navy shirt i wore for years and got rid of last summer. we were on bearss when it began to play.
 
what else?
 
"crash" by dave matthews band. that one takes me back to the day - the first day of fifth grade, that is. i was getting ready for school and was rightly excited. i was standing in front of the mirror in my purple polo and bluejeans when it came on. i put on my blue and silver flower necklace right when he said, "crash into me, baby."
 
something upsetting i have to admit is that there is one song that always makes me unbearably, suicidally depressed. it's not so much embarrassing that i get that way as it is the song that does it to me: "mama" by the spice girls. just why, i can't explain, but it was always greatly upsetting to me. the fact that it's a spice girls song just makes it all the more worse. perhaps that's why it's depressing to listen to. 
  
"billy jean" makes me think of dancing in my biology class freshman year. that never happened, but i often thought of how cool it would be to walk into class one day wearing a black pantsuit and black hat and start "breaking it down," if you will, for mrs. yerves and her sixth period posse.
 
actually, any michael jackson song makes me want to pull that shit.
 
i mean, "made."
 
any crystal method ditty reminds me of last fall and steak and shake, mainly because i went into a techno frenzy right around homecoming. it therefore leads me to think of candles, giggling, and the being a total fag.
 
"brown-eyed girl" reminds me of my blue-eyed cousin's wedding.
 
all apples in stereo songs make me think of presque isle and being a hippy for the summer.
 
"sweetness" by jimmy eat world makes me think of alex and the most odd way to date someone. i distinctly remember listening to it on my green cd player around midnight in the front room of my grandmother's house in july in pennsylvania.
 
"drops of jupiter" = sharp turn onto the veterans expressway after my sister's high school graduation dinner at some foo-foo seafood place near the beach + purple lights and dana sleeping over at my house the summer before freshman year.
 
i'm typed out.
 
aren't you lucky?

i was reading over some old entries. besides finding that i am a complete idiot (no comments about that statement, please.), i found the entry on the old lady who tried to talk to me on my lunch break last october.
 
you know, that still upsets me. i feel really weird and bad about it. in fact, i think about it a lot. not obsessively or anything, but it crosses my mind every now and then.
 
i mean, what if her husband had died a year ago that day and she was out trying to pass the lonely hours with pleasant conversation and a cup of sunshine?
 
what if her daughter had died of cancer a few years ago and she was trying to fill the void by talking to such a lovely young rose as myself (no comments on this, either.)?
 
what if her first grandson was stillborn that very same day at three o'clock in the morning and she wanted someone to laugh with to make it not seem so sad?
 
what if she had just come from the doctor's office and they told her she had a malignant tumor and that she would not live to see the next october?
 
this is why it upsets me.
 
why didn't i just say something to her?

i shall now regale you with the story of my saturday evening with rachel:
 
we went to borders and then saw napoleon dynamite.
 
now that i have accomplished my final task for the day, i sleep.
 
(yes. i do mean sunday, the eighteenth. looks like it'll be a pretty easy day.)