Hi. It's your favorite Maggie. Since it's already the nineteenth of January and I've spent a full week of moping about, I figured it couldn't hurt to at least make you laugh at reading my Valentine's Day application. I encourage everyone who sees this to fill it out - single, taken, peeved, contented, serious, pissing around, drunk, sober, etc., or any combination thereof. Questions are open to interpretation, and such interpretations as I assume will be made are allowed. Cheating, slander, and otherwise inappropriate comments are encouraged.
First of all:
Name:
DOB:
Sex:
Orientation:
Current relationship status:
My last relationship ended... (terms, conditions, visiting rights, etc.):
My expertise is in:
The guys/girls/buffoons I date revel in the following personal qualities:
I attract mates by/with:
The best date I ever went on...:
T/F:
I am a needy, winy little bitch.
I like picking my dates up in my Lambo.
I have a big grill. Gold-plated.
I know what time it is.
Fill in the blank:
1. If I could be made into anything, it would be a/an _____.
2. Generally speaking, my weekends are _____.
3. _____ indicate(s) crazy times to come.
4. The only thing missing in this world is more _____.
5. My momma done told me that _____ are two-faced.
Bonus:
If granted the privilege to be Maggie's Valentine, I will celebrate the day with her and her baffling beauty by...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Name: X
DOB: 4-10-1987
Sex: Sure.
Orientation: Straight as the day is long. Sort of.
Current relationship status: Single.
My last relationship ended... (terms, conditions, visiting rights, etc.): Relatively well and we see each other often.
My expertise is in: Oh I can’t say out loud. ;-)
The guys/girls/buffoons I date revel in the following personal qualities: They always have some sort of weird history. And their parents are usually divorced, and their name usually begins with a J.
I attract mates by/with: My dashing good lucks, charm, and wit.
The best date I ever went on...: Went out to dinner, a movie, and then frolicking in the park at night, star-and-moon gazing. ‘Twas awesome.
T/F:
I am a needy, winy little bitch. ....True? Andrew would probably say true, but my needs are like Vanilla Coke and Seinfeld.
I like picking my dates up in my Lambo. F; I have a Delorian
I have a big grill. Gold-plated. The only grill I have is the one I use to make some delicious...veggie burgers. But it’s not gold-plated. So False.
I know what time it is. True!
Fill in the blank:
1. If I could be made into anything, it would be a/an pillow on Maggie’s bed so I can actually claim I sleep with Maggie every night and be able to back it up.
2. Generally speaking, my weekends are spent worshipping Maggie. But not in a creepy stalker way. That’s just weird.
3. Pineapples indicate(s) crazy times to come.
4. The only thing missing in this world is more people like Maggie. But then Maggie wouldn’t be so one-of-a-kind, and that would be a tragedy.
5. My momma done told me that Quarters are two-faced.
Bonus:
If granted the privilege to be Maggie's Valentine, I will celebrate the day with her and her baffling beauty by...
Doing anything within my power to honour the grace and beauty that is Maggie Kennedy.
Name: Sizzles or Sizzley
DOB: 01.15.87
Sex: only if it's with you ;)
Orientation: big fat gay
Current relationship status: kinda taken. but we can work around that.
My last relationship ended... (terms, conditions, visiting rights, etc.): Well, as I mentioned, I am kind of in a relationship, but he's up for sharing
My expertise is in: Russian hat wear, hawaiian fruits, scarves, Kelly Clarkson songs, and massage oils
The guys/girls/buffoons I date revel in the following personal qualities: They are usually boys. And they usually like Star Wars. Please do not be frightened by this.
I attract mates by/with: my geisha skills
The best date I ever went on...: Geo cache searching in a nature preserve
T/F:
I am a needy, winy little bitch. Probably true, but it's only because I wuv wuv WUV YOU!
I like picking my dates up in my Lambo. False, the ion is much sexier
I have a big grill. Gold-plated. Girl, Xzibit just pimped out my grill last week. I got xm satellite in my molars!
I know what time it is. True! Flava time!
Fill in the blank:
1. If I could be made into anything, it would be the shoe on the ceiling of our dorm room because it seen some weeeeeeird shit.
2. Generally speaking, my weekends are spent worshipping Maggie. Maggie is my weekend.
3. Pineapples indicate(s) crazy times to come. (I couldn't touch this)
4. The only thing missing in this world is more pineapple and love
5. My momma done told me Chris Dyal is Metro
Bonus:
If granted the privilege to be Maggie's Valentine, I will celebrate the day with her and her baffling beauty by...
Having a 24 hour dance party with her. And reminding her of her awesomeness every 30 seconds.
Yeah, her mom told me I'm metro.
She said if I'm not metro, then I'm GQ Dyal.
Dear Maggie:
Update.
Love,
Your husband.
Post a Comment