I'm only going to say this once:

Screw Gainesville. Mainly because of the gay-ass airport and it being so unreasonably more expensive than TIA.

Sing "Fum, Fum, Fum!"

Merry Christmas! Been an amazing day so far, and I'm looking forward to smelling like Par... I mean, heaven in the upcoming year.

Kind of a crazy week ahead of me, but it'll be incredibly fun. Too bad Eeksie is going back to Durhamsie, though.

I'll save the rest of everything for another time. Hope you're having a great day and are surrounded by the people you love.

Shears

I helped a woman pick out earrings for the person with whom her now ex-husband had an affair.

I am shocked into disbelief at least once a week.

Kinnidee

No comments about being emo - I can't stand that shit.

But I would like to dedicate this post to everything that sucks - England, euthenasia, my stomach being in the faggot olympics, and the fact that my uterus just fell out when I typed "olympics." I feel like complete shit all over and I keep looking for my other cat. The bruise of unknown origin has turned a most nasty shade of ugly, and my nose is froze.

RAR!

But on the brighter side, my sister is home, I have attained the shoes that I am in love with, and my comforter smells like a meadow.

China Dolls

Between work and work and work and trying to get some sleep, I was surprised to realize that it is only a week until Christmas - that morning when you woke up when you were little at Nana and Papa's house, snow falling fiercely, the house warm and the water cold, putting on your favorite dress and then layering over it every jacket and coat and glove and mitten and beret you own to brave the walk from the kitchen door to the car, the car to the church entrance.

That morning when you were practically stoned from happiness when you opened all those presents, the confetti and glittering bows falling around your feet like soft and silent rays of sunlight on your favorite day of the year, even though you knew by the shape of this one, the size of that what was in each box or bag or oddly-packaged gift.

That morning when you didn't care what the world had to say about Pollocks being dirty, because any idiot would have eaten that sausage, any fool would have begged for seconds and sat satisfied for the remainder of the afternoon from that meal shared around the table with the huge mirror behind it, so perfect for making faces at the sister sitting next to you without ever turning your head.

That night when you played sharades until you thought you'd puke, you opened presents of sweaters and scarves and bracelets from the aunts, you played Sorry and Scrabble like you'd never have the chance to enjoy either again, you "accidentally" engulfed the marshmallows in the blaze of the fireplace, you listened to the cousins tell weird stories and ever so valiently plunk out the rhythm of The Little Drummer Boy until an older one came along and really played it.

That night when you fell asleep giggling with your sister instead of fighting, dreaming of all the toys you could play with tomorrow, wondering what the doll in your arms was thinking about and if you'd ever actually meet Johnathan Taylor Thomas.

That's what comes to mind when I think of a real Christmas because that's how I grew up to remember it.

Herc?

Black Cherry Fresca, you are the love of my life.

That is all.

Dirty bird you.

Chicken? Sure. But everything's still a go-go.

Officially done with exams as of 4:13PM today. One semester down, seven to go. And you?

Tomorrow I get to visit with le Amber and finish Christmas shopping with the girl who sneezes kittens. Pumped? Check yes.

Speaking of Christmas shopping, I stole someone a present today. It was my second time hijacking this item from the general public. Maybe it was because it was cold outside or maybe it was just that I had to pee so bad, but taking it definately made me giggle the entire way home. Submit guesses as comments, if anyone cares to do so.

I am tired as a fishy. Goodnight.

Christmas in July?

Winter is lovely, but I could really go for a beach day.

Even though it's midnight.

Cucumbersome

I feel so tweleve today. I made two new screen names in the past twenty-four hours, talked through several yawns, woke up with a bruise that was not there when I went to sleep, giggled over a boy, described a tie as gay, and almost shit myself when I saw the Cold Stone around the corner from where I work. Even though some arrogant piece of crap told me to stick out my wrist so he could spray me with man's cologne "...because [he] had too much on [him] to be able to smell this one," I had an amazing day (Like how I slipped that story in?).

"You may be right:

I may be crazy;
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for."

Seasoned

I am completely exhausted, but I feel amazing. I'm listening to summer music and thinking about all the great times I've had this past year.

I'm kind of confused, though, about a lot of things. I guess I've done a lot of growing up, and much of it happened really suddenly and quickly - not necessarily just in 2005, but all along things happened and now I feel so much older than I was.

I feel good - don't get me wrong. I'm in one of the best moods of my life for ... well, yes for an apparent reason, but nothing specific has happened this very moment to make me feel as though I could burst at the seams with general happiness, and yet I believe it is truly likely to occur at any given second.

It's the difference between DMB and techno. That's where I get lost sometimes - the spot between wanting it all and absolutely needing the evening to yourself to sit with all your crazy, fucked-up emotions and memories.

But I couldn't love anything more than life.

Le exams, le sigh.

I am almost le done. One left to go (next Tuesday) and then I'm home free for the semester. My daddy is coming to get me in a few hours and tomorrow morning I start back up again right where I left off at workio. Should be... interesting. If I blow my brains out from all the you-know-whos, please kindly collect them and bring them to my family. Thank you.

I feel like a million bucks. I've been writing much more often lately (Obviously not here, but on real, live paper!), and I may post some of my new stuff. Then again, I may not. We'll see.

However, I do plan on adding a photo - taken by yours truly - to each entry. Comments on pictures as well as all the slander I publish is always more than welcome. I'm so controversial these days.

I don't have much else to say besides goodnight, and good luck.

The Unveiling

"...If I could reach it,
I would hand you heaven –
Wrap it up in earth and silk
And lay it on your pillow,
Your dreams to be of tranquility and amusement,
Your head to rest upon the fate of my world..."

Gam?

I can't believe I didn't even realize what I was missing.

Days like today are just happiness, and that's all there is to it.

I can't belive I almost forgot:

So, last night I get back to Jennings at about 4AM. No one else is outside or in the front area, and a palm tree is blazing right next to the entrance.

No, I'm not joking.

I start freaking out, thinking about how the fire department is going to have to come and everyone will be forced to evacuate and sit on the lawn in the wee hours of the morning, freezing to death and hopelessly watching as the building burns down.

I finally find my keys, throw open the door, and run to the front desk to tell the clerk that there is a fire outside.

"A fire? What kind of fire?"

"A fire-fire. Like, right next to the window."

"What do I do?"

"Call the fire department...?"

A girl who had been talking to the clerk came back outside with me to verify that there was indeed a tree flaming dangerously close to the building.

"Yeah. There's a fire."

"Oh, shit."

Now the clerk comes outside to verify that - for Pete's sake - THERE IS A FUCKING FIRE, and somehow in those 20 seconds between Exhibition No. 1 and Exhibition No. 2 it had disappeared. All that remained was a small patch of fallen fronds and leaves trying pitifully to stay ablaze. The clerk stomped on it, and that was that.

I swear: between the Chinese man with the blinker incident and last night, I suddenly feel as though living here was a bad, bad idea.

So if you're going to come to Jennings in the next day or two, make sure you go in through the front entrance near the pond. Take a look at the palm tree to the left of the bench. Notice anything gray?

Stuff!

This weekend may not the be best in terms of iamgoingtospendamajorityofitstudyingness, but at least it'll be full of surprises...

"'Cause it's you and me

And all of the Clairol

With nothing to do,

Nothing to lose..."

List du Jour of my favorite things:

1. Running like a madwoman with Sweeney all around campus
2. Penguins
3. Laughing until I fall over
4. Christmas lights
5. Crossword puzzles
6. Clothes fresh out of the dryer on a cold day
7. E-mails from my sister
8. Black-and-white posters
9. Nights so clear you can see every star
10. Besitos

Best of luck to everyone during this most grievous time: Exam Week.

Swan dive

"I might be crazy, but that's not the same as insane;
And I'm scared, but that's not the same as being afraid."

I don't know about those camels...

Tell me sweet little lies...

Bonfire of death?

Happy Thanksgiving to you, too.

CRAZY!

That's exactly what the past week has been. I will not go into detail here, but let's just say it's been... refreshing, and yet terrible. I can't make up my mind which best describes it.

On the upscale, I know for a fact now that I will be joining the Peace Corps immediately following college. I may end up waiting out the summer and try to get an assignment in late July or August (depending on availablity), but either way, that's what I fully intend to do. I have a general idea of what I will be changing my major to, but as of yet it is still listed as Criminology (with a minor in Spanish. Comical, no?).

I have a lot of things I'm still sorting through, and this weekend has been dedicated mainly to studying and reviewing. Granted, that's not what I'm doing right this minute, but hey - I earned this break.

Going home Tuesday afternoon after class. Don't have any set plans, except for Friday, which is reserved for post-Thanksgiving sale-day bliss.

I also forgot my big plan: Eurotrip. I'm still doing it (now that I remembered I was). I think perhaps I will shoot for this instead of a semester abroad, as I would likely:

• Not study much;
• Spend way more money than necessary;
• Have such a good time that coming back after 4-6 months would be a disappointment.

So instead, I will spend one summer (perhaps between junior and senior years) having the time of my life. Granted, that is if I can find at least one person to accompany me...

Things are beginning to come together a bit more in most areas. Where they aren't, the circumstances surrounding them are at least defogging. Not that there's much I can do about it, but that's life, and at least I'm no longer ignorant.

And about that whole "updating regularly" thing... Doesn't look like that's going to work out for me.

Lines

Life is what happens when you're think it's finally gotten to be so stagnant that it's hardly worth your best shot.

That's what this weekend has taught me. So many surprise ups, so many unexpected downs, and here I am, still in the middle simply because I don't know what else to do.

Maybe this is an indication of how things will always be; maybe I'm just going through an almost comically hectic period.

I wanted the summer so much this week. I really think it was all a dream. I can't reach that again, and I'll never have that to hold as long as I live. I may get close, but new memories will eventually fill up the holes where I miss the old ones. I might have been bored a lot of the time, but it was so much simpler and happier, more innocent and dangerously bittersweet, the waves of life and love and laughter washing over me like oblivion.

I know I have no right to say any of this; I don't deserve that freedom and I'm well aware of it. Sometimes, though, you just have to see things in writing to know that this is really happening.

I'm sorry, Boo-boo; I'm sorry.